This 2014

It was a given. That this female inmate lied about her injury. She claimed she fell and had a seizure. A condition she denied to our treating jail doctor’s assistant. That she was never put on any medications. However, as a precaution, she was assigned the “bottom bunk” in her cell to avoid any injuries. And a yellow band marked “seizure” applied to her left wrist to aid the responding medical staff should any emergencies arose.

“Kumusta ka na???(meaning ‘How are you?’ in Filipino language,” she yelled at me while I hurried my pace to get the plugged vital signs monitor from one of the walls. I remained silent. With her smiling widely, not minding the presence of her unit deputy and despite the fact that inmates shouldn’t talk as if they were befriending any staff. It was a “no-no!” The incarcerated ones were given the rules and policies as they got housed in a particular cell or unit.

“Did you hear me, Nurse?” she repeated, wondering why she never evoked a warm, perhaps, a surprised response from me. Deep inside, I wasn’t in the mood to act as if we could be friends. I knew she was wasting my time by lying about her injuries.  The LVN watching me do her sick call was surprised. This particular nurse was in school to take his RN degree and I often would call him to get him more familiar with ways and things an RN would do so he would know more by the time he advanced his degree and remained working as a Correctional Nurse. I knew he was hungry to learn, often volunteering to help me when I needed an extra hand.

“Hey, nurse! Kumusta ka na?” she repeated even louder as she slightly adjusted her tall, heavy set body on the chair when I neared her space. Awaiting for a warm response from this muted nurse.

“Ma’am…I am not ignoring you. You were brought here by your deputy for a specific purpose of being evaluated for the injury you claimed. And that’s what I intend to do. To talk about your situation if any and find out about it.”

“Tell me how you got hurt…”

Her face changed to a sour note. With her feelings being offended by a quick brush of a little authority and truth, she cleared her throat.

“Well, I fell from the top bunk and then hit my head on the ground. It hurts,” she replied with a slight tone of arrogance as her right index finger pointed to the right side of her temple. I didn’t see any lacerations nor any bump. The nurse next to me whispered and wondered why I didn’t progress right away to that area she complained about.

“I’m digging deeper because her injury is not true,” I whispered back at him. Being new to full assessment, he watched her intently and I could tell, his ears were even more widely open to hear what I would ask.

“From what bunk did you fall?”

“Well, I was at the top bunk so you know that’s high,” she continued to answer as if I was dumb enough not to understand her first complaint.

“If you were given a bottom bunk by our doctor’s assistant, what were you doing on the top bunk?”

Her eyes immediately looked at the deputy, who already looked upset from taking those long walks to bring her to the Clinic. Without any answer, she started sobbing.

“I don’t know. I didn’t like my ‘cellie’ (cellmate) I guess, so I switched beds with her.”

“Even if you are injured, it was your fault for causing that fall. There is a good reason when one assigns you to the bottom bunk. But I can tell you also don’t have any signs of injury.”

Her sobbing grew louder. As loud as when she first walked in, asking me “How I was”. She knew she was caught lying. And had run out of any course to get out of it. 

“Take her with you,” I advised the ‘pissed-off’ deputy.

And as she remained crying, I added, “But you know you can ask to see us anytime if you have a true injury.”

“Wow!” the other nurse whispered again to me.

“Didn’t know she was lying at first.”

I wasn’t sure how long she would be in the jail but I knew she wouldn’t be back to the Clinic for a while. She probably thought it was okay to lie to get her things that would benefit her. But how would she know the true condition of her heart if no one else pointed at it? And that was my hope. For her to search her heart’s intentions. And truly discover that instead of helping her ended up hurting her.

For all of us are the same. We don’t know other’s hearts’ conditions. Sometimes, we don’t even know our own. This New Year, I’m tired of making resolutions that are hard to accomplish. I want to be real in having such goals more realistic. And I know it starts within me. For we become numb with the same habits we have as humans. Imprisoning our own bodies and spirits with a lot of the world’s things we often think as harmless. But how true that our hearts can be deceitful in our corrupt state. And only God sees these harmful things in our hearts. Time is short and I want to be wise. And I pray that God will search every room, every corner of my heart. This 2014.