The Missed Delivery

Our night crew learned a lesson the hard way. The man from the main pharmacy often would come early mornings on Saturdays to make his delivery. Because he wasn’t an employee in our prison, he would wait for someone from medical staff to pick up the delivery as he waited outside. It would take a while to get there from down below in the Clinic. One had to go up the plight of stairs and through many electronic controlled doors as the main security from our Master Control watched every movement. It was hard around that time when everyone from the Clinic was trying to finish up. Many times, it made it harder when we were usually understaffed. Eyes talked among us on who would be willing to pick up the delivery and meet the man outside.

 

That was the second advice through a phone call from Master Control. The man was still waiting. Finally, one volunteered as nurses were tied up anyway doing sick calls. By the time our co-worker showed up, the man had started his car’s engine and she saw the smoke that formed from a car that sped up and she saw was already turning on a corner. Too late for the man to see her. And it took a while for that man to come back I heard that night I showed up again for work. I also heard he had other deliveries that needed to be accomplished and that was the first time I found out. I thought he was only bringing stuff we needed from the hospital’s pharmacy only to us. Passing ordered meds that day I heard were all late. But it was our fault for not meeting the man, as soon as we got the first call that he was out there waiting.

It had been many months since that time. Many Saturdays had come and gone. But one thing was sure... One was always ready to get that phone call and go up the stairs right away. Signed the forms and wheeled the carts back loaded with many items back to the Clinic. 

It’s true. You don’t know the worth until either something is lost or one doesn’t heed to the urgency of a need or call.

May no one misses God’s call. For that gracious offer of forgiveness. And while Jesus waits (He only has eternity), there might come a time when He might not be there… One just need to seek and show up…He’s waiting…for anyone to come and meet Him…

Behold, you will call a nation you do not know, And a nation which knows you not will run to you, Because of the LORD your God, even the Holy One of Israel; For He has glorified you." Seek the LORD while He may be found; Call upon Him while He is near. Let the wicked forsake his way And the unrighteous man his thoughts; And let him return to the LORD, And He will have compassion on him, And to our God, For He will abundantly pardon. – Isaiah 55:5-7

It's Better To Die...

Sadness wrapped my heart after I read the last word from a short email my cousin had sent me, thousands of miles away. She informed me about one of our aunt’s passing and I immediately had a flashback of all memories with every short visit I had paid when my own father was alive and my mother, too. Her husband was my father’s brother and they were both close to him. There was never a day when my father was dying that her and my uncle’s presence was missing. They cheered up my dad. They offered spoonfuls of meals she cooked to his parched mouth. They encouraged my brothers and I and helped us also cared for my dad prior to us arriving one by one from different places of this world. When my brothers and I dozed off without our knowledge as weariness won over some nights, or days, they were there to keep my father company.

I knew the truth. Only memories we created and their love remained. I would miss the laughter we all shared. The home-cooked meals that abound as we all gathered in my father’s table. The catching up to fill the void of what was missed during those times we were all apart.

Most of my uncles and aunties have passed away, along with my parents. Living day to day would never be the same without them. There would always be a void of different shapes in my heart. Only each of them could fill. 

This Sunday, my heart is joyful despite the sad news. For the hope Jesus had given to this fallen place. Because of His love and mercy, He died to give life to those who believe in Him. His nailed, outstretched arms, welcoming anyone with broken and true repentant hearts to His cross. What seemed to be a cruel and undeserved punishment was His voluntary submission to what the Father has willed. Like what’s prophesied, it happened. That Jesus died, rose and lived again!!!

Wouldn't you know it? It’s a lot better…to live each day dying…Dying to self…In order to live...

For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. – Philippians 1:21 (NIV)

My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. – Galatians 2:20 (NLT)

But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. – Romans 5:8 (NLT)

Walking Together

“Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?” – Amos 3:3 (NLT)

I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. There was a new, long bridge and I couldn’t find the train tracks anymore where a long train would pass by. It would run at the slowest pace with its miles of cars linked together. I used to wait…And wait…Until I only had a few minutes spared to be in that rehabilitation center on time.

My confidence to relieve the evening nurse a little early, actually, the day nurse, who volunteered to stay until I  got there, was slowly fading. Swallowing a sip of water, I decided to make a phone call and had advised her that I felt I was lost and made the wrong turn to this unfamiliar road that led to a huge, commercial building on one side. Yet, I couldn’t see the prison. She started guiding me. Reassured me it wasn’t my fault because the direction from the bridge had a confusing sign that many at the beginning also made that wrong turn. She was excited that I had been chosen to float there. And in that short reliving of memories, I found the old, long road that brought me back many shifts I had gone through. All by myself then. But now, they have some help with an extra LVN to be able to accomplish more tasks like passing meds and checking blood sugar levels of many inmates who had health issues.

I was usually a calm person but I had to admit, I was startled when a female deputy was watching me from a dimly lit guard house on my left corner as I was trying to figure out what to do on a nearby phone for someone to let me in. She seemed to be enjoying the whole show. Of watching a confused nurse who didn’t know where to go and how to be let in. She motioned for me to a particular gate. I cracked a smile and thanked her and told her I used to work in that facility for many years. Except…everything seemed new to me.

Our main prison was back to its old problem. Of having staffing shortage. With both RN’s and LVN’s. Everyone seemed to  be getting burned out from either working extra or doing more work than what they were expected to. Sometimes, the choice was forgotten. One just had to do a particular task. Whether they liked it or not. Health care of incarcerated inmates was always the priority. No matter what.

The LVN who was working with me that night was previously working with us at the main detention. I hadn’t seen her in years. But I remembered her well... Dedicated to her work and always helped out the whole crew if there was a need. But that was how our crew was. Always helping each other. Sharing stories and with the comfort of gathered meals brought from home at quiet times, we all had  great working relationships that worry was out the door on those busy nights.

We hugged each other. And throughout the night, she patiently showed me around and where to get the things I needed if any medical emergency arose. By dawn, she invited me to go to the north side. Where they housed the inmates with minor violations. I remembered it was a tough ride in the provided car. It had to go up a dark hill, where many jack rabbits often crossed the road unexpectedly. Rumors were flying that rattle snakes abound. Proven when an inmate was bitten on his foot. Back then, inmates were allowed to roam. No one would dare to escape. For they knew, there was no place to go to as it was surrounded by miles and miles of barren, parched areas. 

What a change it was for me! To see two deputies than just one guarding now all the inmates who were locked in. She gave the medications to a particular inmate and back to the parked, service car we went. 

“Look! Nurse Rcubes!” she uttered.

“Isn’t it beautiful to see those stars shining and be able to to see the beautiful sunrise. You know, I enjoy that every morning…”

I was gazing at her the whole time she was holding on to the steering wheel and occasionally looked up to marvel at the heavenly bodies she described.

I saw her patience, her sincerity in welcoming an old working relationship be brought alive. Her passion to serve the inmates and be harmonious with the other custody staff. Her ability to see the beauty despite the barren area surrounding the old rehab center. I knew…

Her light was more beautiful than those stars. Shining ever brightly and untiringly doing its purpose.

How I prayed…to always be in near proximity to the Light and be able to reflect Its radiance. For all to see. Such a simple beauty. To see even a tiny light bring peace and joy in dark, remote areas.

Anyone can accomplish that…by walking with God. In harmony. And in intimacy shared day by day. To know Him, to please Him. For Him to become one’s heart’s desire…

“Thank you,” I told the LVN. 

“Thank you for being patient and teaching me things here that are new to me. I know…I’ll probably be sent back. But I will always be willing to float here.”

“Because of you…”

“Let us go right into the presence of God with sincere hearts fully trusting him. For our guilty consciences have been sprinkled with Christ's blood to make us clean, and our bodies have been washed with pure water.” – Hebrews 10:22 (NLT)

The 90 Year Old Lady

But I don’t care what happens to me, as long as I finish the work that the Lord Jesus gave me to do. And that work is to tell the good news about God’s great kindness.~ Acts 20:24 (CEV)

“Nice waiting area…” I thought to myself. As I waited for what seemed to be forever minutes. I arrived early prior to my xrays. Good thing I left from my house early. The first place I had checked out the day prior turned out to be not the right place and the confused lady at the desk checked her computer for schedules and directed me to go across the street at their other facility. I kept going around. In circles. Positive I was in the right place. Still…I’d seen throngs of cars parked. I couldn’t locate the building. Determined to get on the exit, I glanced on my left side. Only to find out I was indeed in the right medical plaza. Except the name of the building I needed to go to was facing the east while I was going in circles on the west side.

An older lady sat next to me. Struck a conversation and wanted to know why I wasn’t wearing a jacket as she noticed everyone else was in layers. Complaining she was very cold herself. I wasn’t sure what to say except…I was just not cold. She told me I was a lot younger anyway than most of the people in the waiting area. I thanked her. As I added that I might look young except I sometimes felt I was  “90”. 

“Honey, I am 90!” she exclaimed. Without sounding offended. More of a reassurance that I wasn’t there yet. She looked good for her age. The strength she displayed as she took her steps while returning her paper works at the desk. Just would not show her age.

I felt I needed to explain. Why I said that. That I had been working nights for 25 years. As she asked where I worked, her eyes shone with excitement as she discovered a similarity between us, having worked in a hospital. 

She said she wished people wouldn’t have a long life. Adding if not the memory other things would fail. To which I was quick to reply that “Life is a beautiful gift…” The way she had shown. With grace. With every strand of white hair displaying wisdom and experience gained in the normal process of aging. As she motioned her wrinkled but strong hands as she talked, I sensed the time those hands were invested with things that had more meaning, as each waning moment became a reminder to her still sharp mind.

I felt sadness with being interrupted from that great conversation. As the xray tech loudly called my name and her eyes scanning among the people sitting in front of her.

I had finished my xrays, a lot shorter than what I had waited for. I was still thinking of the lady. And the longing for her to have her race be finished. She reminded me…

How all humans are in a race. Some days are easy. Some are not. One may run or walk. But the destination is the same. The only difference is the manner of finishing the set race and the road a person is walking on.