I Have More Than Enough

I closed my eyes as I reflected on each word of the hymn we were all singing in our fellowship this morning…

“Your Name….is a strong and mighty tower…

Your Name… is a strong and mighty tower…
Your Name is a shelter like no other
Your Name, let the nations sing it louder
'Cause nothing has the power to save
But Your Name….

(Jesus…..Your Name….)            (From Paul Baloche’s ‘Your Name’)

And with a soft breath coupled with my silent prayer……”I give all my worries to You, Oh Lord…” was let out…I took my glasses off and kept cleaning the fogged up lens, slightly damp from my vision that got misty.

"Are you okay?" my husband whispered from my left side.

"I have never felt more okay than now..."I uttered quietly.

I am going to another battle tomorrow morning to face some people in higher power from work. But I am not afraid no matter what the outcome will be. The truth etched in my heart:

^“38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. ³⁹ No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.” –Romans 8:38-39 (NLT)

There is nothing that these people can do to make me be afraid and to stop the work God had started in my life since He found me. They may take away my work. But I know it will be okay.

I may be in the lowliest position in their eyes…..

…….but I know I have an inheritance that this world can never be able to give.

I may seem to lack wisdom when I don’t open my mouth to their allegations and lies….

……but I would rather look like a fool to them while I hunger for more things of God.

I may appear like a coward when I seem to not speak up much…

……but I would rather have reservations with the things I say and be slow to anger.

I may look so weak……

….but I know the Power working in me…..that makes me so strong; stronger than them...
 

I may look afraid of their power to their eyes...
...but I am only afraid of One Power, One amazing Power Who sees everything and Who desires all living in darkness to approach His Light...The One Who wants those who believe in Him to reflect His light in this dark world.

So...while they think that I might be backing down, the reality is... I am approaching them closer and closer...Speaking truth against all their lies. Blowing an invisible horn in this invisible battle between us. Because I carry with me the Power that will destroy all those walls they built. I pray for His Light to penetrate the areas of darkness that surround the people at my workplace...I pray for His love to find hearts that will open up and invite Him in....

I don’t need anything that this world offers…

…I have enough…I have more than enough…

“I have Jesus…” and because of Him, that makes me a winner in everything!

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 "¹ The Lord is my shepherd;     
      I have all that I need.
 ² He lets me rest in green meadows;
      he leads me beside peaceful streams.
    ³ He renews my strength.
   He guides me along right paths,
      bringing honor to his name.
 ⁴ Even when I walk
      through the darkest valley,
   I will not be afraid,
      for you are close beside me.
   Your rod and your staff
      protect and comfort me.
 ⁵ You prepare a feast for me
      in the presence of my enemies.
   You honor me by anointing my head with oil.
      My cup overflows with blessings.
 ⁶ Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me
      all the days of my life,
   and I will live in the house of the Lord
      forever.” -Psalm 23:1-6 (NLT)

Up Ahead

There goes the anticipated call that never was given for so long. It was not because I ignored it, I didn’t pick it up so the message could be recorded in our home’s answering machine. A new way I had planned since some people in positions from work started giving me a hard time when the highest one changed the night nurses’ schedule. A lot more got involved when they should not have been. Lies were told about me. Things were done to intimidate me. Wrong motives that were so clear as shown by their actions that didn’t match their words. They secretly desire for me to quit my job.

From the very start, I knew I had nothing to be afraid of. I knew that I had done nothing wrong. I never had problems from the past supervisors when I made my request not to work full time because of my history of disability. Was I? For so many years, I never had a problem performing my tasks since day 1, working in the prison where God had brought me when I got hurt from the hospital where I used to work.

I ran my errands. But that message changed my mood. I became upset again. Upset with the fact that I wanted to say so much yet, it wouldn’t be the perfect time. I tried to forget the demand but it kept creeping in the back of my mind.

Work had called me to meet up with 2 people I had spoken with before. Two people who aggravated me from the last time as they spoke words sounding with a punitive tone. It was a meeting with a façade that they were trying to work it out with me for my best interest. It was not true.

I opened my emails to see that not only this person had called me, she also decided to email me the same message from the answering machine. It was unbelievable that she did that as she ignored my emails most of the time when I was trying to communicate and prevent any miscommunications between us. I knew she never valued my request. When I started saying a little bit about their wrongful actions, she softened up a little bit, sounding like she was not a part of this evil tryst anymore. But I wouldn’t believe anything she would tell me. They all broke my trust.

My husband hugged me this morning and asked me if I would be going to work this afternoon. I caught his stare with mine and I just sighed. He got my muted answer. He knew I didn’t want to, but I had to. Work was never hard. It was the people who do evil things that make it hard and not a fun place to be.

I closed the door behind him as he left to start his day. After we both had prayed together. I let out another deep sigh. I had been seeing blurriness around me since my battle at work began. But remembering those days the Lord had blessed me and my family with His comfort when we took a needed vacation, I let go of these worries. Into His wounded hands. He showed me a picture we took as we were traveling early on a road. When the mysterious-looking fog blanketed some areas and up ahead, it was very clear. Then I got my answer from Him. I needed to press on. I needed to keep moving despite the vagueness in these people’s actions. I must trust in Him. I must trust in His plans for me. So I wouldn’t be side-tracked. Because up ahead, when this situation is over, it would be very clear. In His light…

Foggy morning but up ahead was so clear...

“But their evil intentions will be exposed when the light shines on them.” – Ephesians 5:13 (NLT)

Lord, I have given You my battle at work from the start. Because of You, I was never afraid. I pray Lord for You to continue to guide me, give me discernment and protect me as I meet these people come Monday in the morning. Lord, I pray that You will teach me with what to say and when to say the wisdom that comes from You. I pray for them Lord. May they have clarity of mind and the heart to do what is right. In You and in You alone I trust Oh Lord. Thank You for everything You have done for me and continue to bless me, even through sorrows and pain. I know that with every tear shed, every fall I sustain, every wound I obtain, those are nothing compared to what You had gone through in order for us to live and have a hope and a future. You keep reminding me about Your wounded hands. You place these words "wounded in order for you to be healed" in my heart. Thank You Lord for Your healing. Your grace. Your mercy. Your love. I pray for those who are going through heavy persecutions. Those who are afflicted with sorrows or illnesses. Those who feel like they have no hope. Those that doubt Your existence. Please bless them all Lord and open their hearts and minds to come before You and know You. Your awesome power. Your awesome love as a Father. Because up ahead, Your light awaits...In Jesus' Name. Amen.

Killer Squirrel

Moonstones from a famous beach

Enjoying the quiet stroll on some wooden planks of a pathway alongside the coastal scenery, I heard soft crackling from my left side. Keeping a tight hold of the little moonstones my husband gathered down below on the sandy beach and in which this place was famous for, my right palm housed the gathered, special treasures. Some drying out grasses were bending, as a figure tried to check us out.

“What’s that?” I asked my husband and son.

“It’s the squirrel, mom,” my son answered, opening the lid of the camera he was holding, as my husband turned on the video camera, its black straps dangling from his neck.

“Ohhh… Why does it keep coming closer?” I asked as my right hand froze and so was the rest of my body.

The Killer Squirrel

“Shhh…”my husband and son both warned me to stop making movements and literally to seal my mouth so they could take a picture of the little creature.

I had faced hundreds of murderers, rapists, and so many other criminals where I work. But a tiny creature? It would only take a tiny creature not even bigger than my feet to scare me?

“Shooo! Shooo!” I loudly warned for it to stop being curious with the human beings that were just trying to relax on such a beautiful day.

“Mom!” my son warned louder as my husband’s voice also joined his. “Stop it! So we can take a picture!”

I suddenly thought how these squirrels coming from nowhere must be so used with human’s presence, being fed by others as they ran in commotion to check out what food could be thrown at them and that was why this particular one was not afraid of us.

But please…. Not me…

“Daddy,” I whispered to my husband… “Will it be okay for me to throw these moonstones near him just to scare him?”

Next thing I knew, two of my loved ones were busting, laughing at this afraid being who was ready to let go of little moonstones from her right hand as if they were ammo’s.

“Stop it!” my husband uttered. “Just stop being afraid!”

“Why wouldn’t I be afraid? You guys keep calling him but he keeps looking toward me. And why does he stare at me as if I’m food?”

The more laughter ensued, with intensity of roaring thunders heard on that spot where the surrounding areas were marked with yellow ribbons to prevent humans from touching the preserved area.

“What was that?” my son asked my husband when he was aiming his camera toward the squirrel. He got surprised when a tan-colored sweat shirt dropped on the ground.

“That’s my sweatshirt!” I replied.

The killer squirrel was not harmed. I just kept walking fast, double the pace I usually did. My son was not able to take a picture as he kept laughing, standing still behind me as the gap between us widened. My husband stayed with my son and I wasn’t sure if he was able to film the whole thing but at that point, I truly didn’t care but to keep going fast toward our car and preserve my God-given life.

(You’re reading this post….so you know I’m okay! Thank You Lord!)

Panting in the car as I took a gulp of cold water, I just realized that in reality, the squirrel was not my enemy. It was my fear. And so it is with our spiritual battles. If we know we are on God’s side, we should not be afraid of our spiritual enemies. It is our faith that conquers “fear of anything.” Fear is the enemy’s tool that robs ourselves from having joy or peace. Fear is the tool that distorts our decision-making that keeps us away from walking on the narrow path of life. But faith?  It is God’s tool that helps us realize that God will always come through for us, no matter what we are facing: whether we are going through the severest storms of life or even facing a “tiny squirrel” like the one I encountered.

Yes...Even up to the point of facing death...

“35As evening came, Jesus said to his disciples, “Let’s cross to the other side of the lake.” ³⁶ So they took Jesus in the boat and started out, leaving the crowds behind (although other boats followed). ³⁷ But soon a fierce storm came up. High waves were breaking into the boat, and it began to fill with water.

 ³⁸ Jesus was sleeping at the back of the boat with his head on a cushion. The disciples woke him up, shouting, “Teacher, don’t you care that we’re going to drown?”

 ³⁹ When Jesus woke up, he rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Silence! Be still!” Suddenly the wind stopped, and there was a great calm. ⁴⁰ Then he asked them, “Why are you afraid? Do you still have no faith?” – Mark 4:35-40 (NLT)

Different Journeys

"See!" a young female inmate uttered through the thick glass. "Look! I didn't even pee that much!"

"That's okay," I reassured. "Remember what you told me when you first walked in?"

"I just went pee in my unit."

"Okay...That's why I'm not concerned," I added as I dipped a piece of paper strip that would check her urine for any abnormalities.

"Everything is normal," I blurted out my findings.

Her face marred with a few skin irritations on her forehead, some blemished spots on both sides of her mouth, and her total appearance that made her way older than her real age of just being 19, continued to think about other symptoms to make me give her some pain meds she was craving for.

"Let me be honest with you," I said, interrupting her busy thoughts.

"It is the drugs that are making you feel sick now. You and I both know that you don't have kidney stones. You want the pain medications because your body is going through a withdrawal right now..."

"Why don't you go through that door!" a loud pop was heard as I twisted a black dial that electronically opened a specific door. As I took her vital signs and everything came back normal, I offered some medications to help calm down her upset stomach and relieve her other physical pain.

"You're young," I initiated a conversation as her head bowed low having admitted her heavy use of drugs for many years.

"You're 19?"

"Yes, Ma'am..."

"When did you start using heroin and other drugs?"

"Since I was 13," her head bent down again as if embarrassed with her answer.

"I'm sorry...Usually, I don't say anything. But because you are suffering from severe withdrawal now, if you allow me to speak, may I say try to clean up before you don't even see another year?"

Her look was not surprised. She nodded and agreed.

"But it's hard. You can't do it on your own," I advised.

"There are lots of agencies out there and if you don't have any resources, you may also go to the county hospital and ask for the help that you need..."

"That is....if you value your life..."

She got up and thanked me. I saw her nodding slightly as if I sensed her determination to change and her acceptance that she knew she was in a deep pit and that she needed help.

As the heavy, metal door slammed behind her after I gave her yellow pass to go back to her unit, I felt sadness for her. I sensed her sincere gratitude with the advice I had given but I knew that no matter how helpful and maybe that was the only comforting word she heard that day, I still wouldn't be able to help her with the kind of help she needed.

Her journey is different from mine. It is impossible for me to be walking beside her. It would be impossible for me to walk the way she walks because we started from different directions and are walking on different roads. But despite that fact, we both need guidance with our footsteps. We both need the only One Who can remove any bumps on the roads that hinder us from knowing the only and true direction that our valuable lives need to walk on. The narrow road that leads to hope, a future and an eternal life.

The truth is even if our starting point differs, we will all have the same destiny. We will all reach the end of the road. But the manner of walking depends on us, the manner of choosing which road to go depend on us. In reality, we all need His guidance because there are so many distractions along the way. Some that leads to destruction.

“You can enter God’s Kingdom only through the narrow gate. The highway to hell is broad, and its gate is wide for the many who choose that way." - Matthew 7:13 (NLT)