Different Journeys

"See!" a young female inmate uttered through the thick glass. "Look! I didn't even pee that much!"

"That's okay," I reassured. "Remember what you told me when you first walked in?"

"I just went pee in my unit."

"Okay...That's why I'm not concerned," I added as I dipped a piece of paper strip that would check her urine for any abnormalities.

"Everything is normal," I blurted out my findings.

Her face marred with a few skin irritations on her forehead, some blemished spots on both sides of her mouth, and her total appearance that made her way older than her real age of just being 19, continued to think about other symptoms to make me give her some pain meds she was craving for.

"Let me be honest with you," I said, interrupting her busy thoughts.

"It is the drugs that are making you feel sick now. You and I both know that you don't have kidney stones. You want the pain medications because your body is going through a withdrawal right now..."

"Why don't you go through that door!" a loud pop was heard as I twisted a black dial that electronically opened a specific door. As I took her vital signs and everything came back normal, I offered some medications to help calm down her upset stomach and relieve her other physical pain.

"You're young," I initiated a conversation as her head bowed low having admitted her heavy use of drugs for many years.

"You're 19?"

"Yes, Ma'am..."

"When did you start using heroin and other drugs?"

"Since I was 13," her head bent down again as if embarrassed with her answer.

"I'm sorry...Usually, I don't say anything. But because you are suffering from severe withdrawal now, if you allow me to speak, may I say try to clean up before you don't even see another year?"

Her look was not surprised. She nodded and agreed.

"But it's hard. You can't do it on your own," I advised.

"There are lots of agencies out there and if you don't have any resources, you may also go to the county hospital and ask for the help that you need..."

"That is....if you value your life..."

She got up and thanked me. I saw her nodding slightly as if I sensed her determination to change and her acceptance that she knew she was in a deep pit and that she needed help.

As the heavy, metal door slammed behind her after I gave her yellow pass to go back to her unit, I felt sadness for her. I sensed her sincere gratitude with the advice I had given but I knew that no matter how helpful and maybe that was the only comforting word she heard that day, I still wouldn't be able to help her with the kind of help she needed.

Her journey is different from mine. It is impossible for me to be walking beside her. It would be impossible for me to walk the way she walks because we started from different directions and are walking on different roads. But despite that fact, we both need guidance with our footsteps. We both need the only One Who can remove any bumps on the roads that hinder us from knowing the only and true direction that our valuable lives need to walk on. The narrow road that leads to hope, a future and an eternal life.

The truth is even if our starting point differs, we will all have the same destiny. We will all reach the end of the road. But the manner of walking depends on us, the manner of choosing which road to go depend on us. In reality, we all need His guidance because there are so many distractions along the way. Some that leads to destruction.

“You can enter God’s Kingdom only through the narrow gate. The highway to hell is broad, and its gate is wide for the many who choose that way." - Matthew 7:13 (NLT)

Where Comfort Is Stored

 "There's no greater comfort than to remember that when you're living in the center of God's will, nothing can ever happen to you without God's permission."- (wordofloveforyou.com)


Yesterday, we got home late in the afternoon after an almost 6 hours journey from our family's vacation that we did not want to end. The heat of the sun was a surprising, unwanted change after the three of us savored a much cooler temperaturefor a few days and as we frolicked and enjoyed every second that passed by, strolling and eyeing shops after shops, tasting their famous clam chowder soups and other seafood specialties.

The light was blinking when I approached our answering machine, noticing only 3 new messages. The last one sounded so urgent.

"Rcubes, this is Nurse G. Please call me but don't call me from work. I'm off tonight and I really need to talk to you..."

My co-worker left her home number. I called and attempted many times. Unfortunately, she must not be home as I missed her original call. Before retiring to bed last night, I decided to try phoning her again as there was no machine where I could leave a message to acknowledge her call.

She picked up. Relating the bad events that occurred at work, I could sense her angry tone and fresh memory of everything that happened between her and the other nurse who was in charge. She knew about the battle I was going through against some of the people who were in higher positions. She asked for a needed advice about the process I had gone through and had walked before.

"Don't worry," I reminded her. "There will come a time that things they do that are not right will be exposed." I paused...

"But do yourself a favor, Nurse G.,"I uttered softly. "Do not let them intimidate you. You're only off for 1 night tonight. Don't think and worry about these things because doing so will not help you anyway. Enjoy your night off and if there is anything else I can help you out with, please let me know."

I could see a smile despite talking on the phone being worn by her lips.

"Thank you, Rcubes. Have a good night and thank you for the info you had given me."

"I will see you at work and I will give you a number to call," I reassured.

Enjoying this favorite spot on a tranquil afternoon

My wounded heart was never the same when it came to my workplace. The harassment never stopped. But taking the much-needed holiday with my family and just being away from work was what I needed to recuperate. I forgot about those worries of my own, seeing and feeling the love that the Best Comforter had given me through His creations and other simple things and simple enjoyment:  

The warm glow of the sunsets that bathed the horizon...

Little squirrels that were not afraid to be fed by humans. Scrambling to get out from their cave houses etched in between the rocks that held the ground splashed by the salty waters. Dashing from under the wooden planks of wood that formed the mile long trails where nature lovers and other people fond of staying fit enjoy...

The sandy stretch of beach that protected the bay from the huge Pacific Ocean, housing some marine animals underneath as kayakers and those who love the electric boats or canoes go by as they slowly paddle with their oars...

The seals that idly lounged on rocky protrusions as the soft roars of the white waters seemed to have rocked them to sleep...

The doughnuts being perfected for 43 years by a mother and her son, freshly made each wee hours of each morning...

The retired people who we met at the place where we were staying and were eager to exchange life's stories and other warm memories from their journeys...

Back in our town where the temperature is almost triple digit, I don't mind the blistering heat now that I think about the past, few days and even if I have to go back to work again tomorrow, I know that I carry these comforting memories that God had given me so I can nurse my inner wound. Truly, the memories are special knowing they were orchestrated by His wounded hands. Hands that were wounded to have humanity be healed. He is the Best Comforter after all.

I know that I don't need to go to another place if I need healing and refreshment. I can call on Him, anytime, anywhere. I know that His love is poured into my heart until it overflowed. That is where His love is stored. In my heart. All I need to do is look inside. And that is my goal...to share this comfort I received to those who need it in return.

"All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. 4 He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. 5 For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ." ~ 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 (NLT)

The Doughnuts

"There is nothing that can replace the absence of someone dear to us, and one should not even attempt to do so. One must simply hold out and endure it. At first that sounds very hard, but at the same time it is also a great comfort. For to the extent the emptiness truly remains unfilled one remains connected to the other person through it. It is wrong to say that God fills the emptiness. God in no way fills it but much more leaves it precisely unfilled and thus helps us preserve -- even in pain -- the authentic relationship. Further more, the more beautiful and full the remembrances, the more difficult the separation. But gratitude transforms the torment of memory into silent joy. One bears what was lovely in the past not as a thorn but as a precious gift deep within, a hidden treasure of which one can always be certain." - Dietrich Bonhoffer


My family descended the steep street and traced the footprints we left 2 years ago that led us to a familiar, antiquated tiny shop.

Photo Credit

A lady was already ahead of us, waiting to be served patiently to the lady who owned this shop who seemed to know her well.

"I'm sorry..." the lady's voice directed to us when our turn came.

"No!No!No!" "That was okay!" my husband, son and I replied in a harmonic unison.

"What do you like?" she asked the three of us.

"Please give us 3 chocolate-glazed, 3 of the plain ones...hmmm..."we paused, not confused with the variety of delicious, freshly-made doughnuts inside the glass case as there were only a few. Her son cut in and just put one freshly-made ring-shaped favorites.

"May I have coffee-crumbed ones?" my son uttered, as his index finger pointed at those.

"4 more and you will have them in the same price as 7 pieces," she said.

We looked at each other. We knew those choices were not healthy for us but we remembered this mother and son pair who made those delicious doughnuts when we came in this special place where we enjoyed taking a break from our busy schedules. And we wanted to bless them by going back and buying a dozen though we won't be able to eat all.

"I have to tell you something," I started confessing.

"We were here 2 years ago and we remembered how delicious these doughnuts were."

"Oh, thank you!" the old lady replied as a wide smile slowly appeared.

"We have been doing this for 43 years," she added with this secret that was supposed to be known.

"Here," I handed her some cash and was received by those wrinkled hands. She opened the cash register and started counting the amount that she was supposed to give me back.

"Please keep the change," we all said. "Thank you and we'll see you again."

Back at the place where we were staying, my son hurriedly removed the top lid covering the box and exposed the choices that we had made. The smell of freshly-brewed coffee filled the entire atmosphere surrounding us, as my son poured some cold milk in his glass.

Grabbing the doughnuts with our fingers through the holes, we savored the avoided treats for so long.

"Yummy..."

After downing 2 pieces each, we decided to stop there. I knew that despite the self-control we would always long for these. However, there seemed to be something always missing...Was it because there were holes in those little fried cakes?

And how true it is, too in our lives. How we often grab and take a hold of those things that truly do not matter. Things that never satisfy us. The truth is we should aim for those holes that we do not see.We should reflect on the void that God applies in each human life He creates. The gap that only He can fill...

"So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever." - 2 Corinthians 4:18 (NLT)

Trumpet Calls

I wiped the counter with an antibacterial cloth before starting to check the diabetic’s accuchecks. One of the people giving me a hard time before had come near me and whispered, “Rcubes, thank you for doing this and tonight, I don’t know, but they’re going to be short,” she uttered with a concerned look.

Not that it was something new. But I wondered why she was telling me when she was one of the reasons I was taken away from working nights for so many years and was transferred to PM shift because her and some other thought they could intimidate me by planning on doing that.

I kept quiet. I followed the flow. I kept working hard which I had done from day 1 since being hired at the Sheriff’s Department. Despite the ill intentions, I tried hard to remain respectful, though my heart was broken not once but many times. Deceived many times.

Photo Credit

She approached me again as I was eating my home-cooked meal I brought during my break. As she said “Good night” and turned away from where I was, I suddenly thought how I had been praying for the Lord to make these evil people value those who truly work hard at our workplace.

Was I “tooting my horn?” In a good way… As we took that important decision to stand on God’s side, the spiritual warfare had been turned on. This battle I was in was one of those. And I had been “tooting my horn”, not for me, but all of my accomplishments, strength, and all were being shown to boast about God’s mercy and goodness in my life. It would be impossible to accomplish things alone but with Him, it’s endless opportunities and possibilities.

“As for me, may I never boast about anything except the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ. Because of that cross, my interest in this world has been crucified, and the world’s interest in me has also died.”

- Galatians 6:14 (NLT)

We all face our own battles in different degrees. Take a deep breath no matter how big or small the trial is in front of us. Let us all let out a heavy blow and “blow our trumpets” by whispering those silent and sincere prayers. It helps us focus that we are not fighting alone but our dependence must be on God Who knows it all and Who equips us with the things we need to overcome these burdens.

"When you arrive in your own land and go to war against your enemies who attack you, sound the alarm with the trumpets. Then the LORD your God will remember you and rescue you from your enemies.

- Numbers 10:9 (NLT)

She had been long gone, my co-worker who was known for unfair treatments. She would never know that right behind her, my “trumpet calls” were following her, asking for God’s intervention to change her heart.. As I also whispered in prayers for God to help me continue to respond in loving ways, for His light to shine through me in this darkness that constantly surrounded me. The prison walls were thick. The air was stale. Thousands of spiritually oppressed bodies were confined. A legion of bad spirits roamed. But God had already declared victory over all these things.

His Light shines through thick or thin matter. His love overflows. His grace sustains. His Word lasts forever. He conquered death.

“But thanks be to God, Who gives us the victory [making us conquerors] through our Lord Jesus Christ.”

- 1 Corinthians 15:57 (Amplified Bible)