Silent Treatment

God's poet is silence! His song is unspoken,
And yet so profound, so loud, and so far,
It fills you, it thrills you with measures unbroken,
And as soft, and as fair, and as far as a star.
~Joaquin Miller

Her rash seemed to have gotten red again. Itching woke her up and tired of having these rashes for a few days now, even after the doctor discontinued her pain medication, she requested to be seen, despite the time being so early in the morning.

“Don’t worry,” I reassured her. “All of your vital signs are okay. But I will keep you here at the Infirmary no matter how long it takes until you feel better. Okay?”

“Thank you,” she responded with a wide smile and a tone of gratitude, while attempting to scratch her puffy eyelids.

I consulted the on-call doctor from the county’s ER. I gave this female inmate having an allergic reaction to something with 2 kinds of shots. One to decrease the swelling and the other to help with itching. Noticing that while talking with the doctor, the pin-point rashes even got slightly redder and seemed to have been more diffused all over her body, I called the doctor back again and asked for his opinion if he wanted me to send the inmate to the hospital for further evaluation. Depending on my observations, he didn’t feel the need to have this inmate be seen, as another order for Epinephrine was given to aid with her breathing.

I reassured the inmate as she needed to wait 2 more hours and our jail doctor would be in, that very same morning. I had the deputy at the back unit bring out a mattress and blanket for her. So she could rest while waiting for the doctor. When morning came, I ordered her breakfast from the prison’s kitchen. I decided to re-check her vital signs as I saw the jail doctor walked in and started preparing all the charts she needed to see that day for doctor’s sick call.

I went up to the doctor and told her about the inmate. She remembered this particular inmate as she just saw her the day prior. I knew the rash would take a few days before they would go down. But I just wanted to make sure that there was no further evaluation or treatment needed for this particular case. She discontinued another pain medication. And told me I did the best I could and things she would have ordered. So, she didn’t need to see the inmate.

I summoned the inmate to the glass partition window. And informed her that the doctor didn’t need to see her but was aware of everything that happened. She was upset at the beginning. But when I explained that there was really nothing to do anymore for the rash since she was being given the medications for it for 2 days already, she calmed down. She accepted the fact that she needed to go back to her unit at that time. I told her to put a sick call and even to alert any staff in her unit if she felt that the symptoms would get worse.

She smiled at me and thanked me for everything I did. I told her to watch out from then on what she would eat, if there was anything new and to start keeping track of anything she would ingest to find out where this allergy was coming from. She agreed.

She accepted not being seen. She accepted that “silence treatment” as there was no other options available. How often do we go through silence treatment from our Greatest Physician when we feel that He must see us and answer our pleas? When everything seems urgent to us when in reality, that waiting period, that silence, will be a period for us to re-think things about our faith, about the way we deal with trials, about the way we trust in His plan? No matter what the outcome…Just because God is silent doesn’t mean He is not listening! God’s silence can be the answer to our pleas! Let us praise Him instead in this period of silence, knowing that during this time, there is a big revelation to come. It is not a silence of despair. For time is nothing to God.

"5guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long." - Psalm 25:5 [NIV]

It's Not About Tennis Anymore

"God never gives us discernment in order that we may criticize, but that we may intercede." ------ Oswald Chambers
　
　
Everyday, I always remind my son to always pray and ask for the Lord’s protection and discernment. As they started a busy schedule playing tennis, I was also busy as I volunteered to have some players ride with us in our car, whenever we needed to go to another school to compete.

There was a player who was very interested to have my son as his partner in the “doubles” game. He was so eager that he asked the coach if he could be paired with my son. The request was granted and when there was a “home” game, they won as they tried their partnership for the first time. That player was elated! My son, with a calm composure, was happy to be able to find a teammate he could be working with. Until…

We went to another school and they lost this time. The coach told me and my hubby that the other player though from the other school was already way ahead, playing in varsity and got demoted. In order for him to go back to his previous status, he needed to work his way up by beating junior varsity. So, the coach said that even though my son and the other boy lost, it was a good game and they played well since the score was close. But I noticed the boy distancing himself from my son. He seemed upset about the loss. I heard my son asked the other boy if he was okay. He said he was upset with himself. But the whole time, as I waited for the players to get done with the matches, I saw him always far from my son, either talking with some other members or just silent on his own. My son didn’t think of any and that broke my heart. Because I didn’t want that childlike-faith and innocence to be tainted with this world’s hypocrisy and self-centeredness. My own discernment was that: that boy was upset with my son. Actions spoke louder than his words!

“Dude, I’m an atheist!” uttered this same boy while riding in our car as we went to the other school. I wasn’t sure what precipitated this conversation.

“Why are you an atheist?” asked the other player riding with us.

“Just because I’m an atheist!” he proudly stated…

That happy mood on the way to school was replaced with an “upset” kind of mood as we headed back to their school, when the game was over. His being talkativeness was replaced with silence, on our way home.

I spoke with my son while having breakfast yesterday and told him, no matter what he would see from the other boy‘s actions, just keep praying for this boy and for their being “buddies” and pray to the Lord and only please the Lord, no one else. The truth came out during their training in the afternoon. The coach had noticed that the boy didn’t feel like playing well while practicing with my son. So the coach asked my son if there was something going on. My son told the coach he wasn’t sure what the other boy was feeling. But that if there were any errors during the game, he only would talk about his own faults and never blamed the other boy. And that after losing, he asked him if he was okay and he denied being upset with my son. He also asked him if he wanted to work on their mistakes together to improve their skills.

The coach was more concerned with my son seeing how hard he worked every time and always respected others. He asked my son how he felt about this boy's attitude towards him. I was so proud of my son’s answer, “It’s okay. It doesn't bother me. I know we can learn from our mistakes. Even if he doesn’t want to play with me, that’s okay.” So, the coach told him that maybe he could try to play singles, instead of doubles.

When I picked my son up after their training, he talked about the other boy with me and that he knew I was right about praying for protection and discernment at all times. I asked my son how he viewed this incident. We both agreed on the same thing: This was a blessing from the Lord: “to find out this boy’s attitude of not being a good sport while the game was still at a very early stage“. Because once they started playing “league” games, everything would count and to have this kind of attitude would only affect each other’s performance. My son witnessed and processed that it would be the same in this life’s journey. That he would be facing both the ups and downs. That despite being on the down side, he knew he must accept it and he could grow from it because life is not always about victory. That during losses, true courage means to accept that you have done something wrong, admit it, and learn from it.

Now, he knows why it’s important to ask for His discernment. It’s because we live with others who do not share the same values and convictions. And it’s only by His grace that he can make the right choices when making decisions. Right decisions that others who do not know Christ can see. And hopefully, through his actions, others can see the godly path he’s walking on and would want to be walking on that same road. Road that points to Jesus. All because of discernment.

That it’s not about playing tennis anymore. It’s not about winning in matches anymore. It’s about bringing Christ to whatever we do. It’s about winning souls for Christ that matters. It’s about bringing and sharing His light to those dark places where Christ wants us to be. It is all about Him.

“You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name.” - John 15:16
　

There Is No One Like Him

I know I posted this song before, which I wrote on Dec.18, 2003..."Who Is A God Like You?"...I was feeling sad at that time, when my father was sick [he died from colon cancer in 2007]and many oceans away. As I brought this to the Lord's throne, He filled me up with joy instead of me, wallowing up in tears. I read Micah 7:18 that day, "Who is a God like You, Who pardons sin and forgives transgression?"

I'm re-posting this song I had submitted to a music publishing company to put the melody for my lyrics. I want to encourage you and remind you that God delights to show mercy! He is always glad when we repent. And He offers forgiveness to all who come back to Him. Today, if you are at the end of your road, completely lost and don't know where to go, what to do....if the world feels like crushing you with its weight and heavy burdens, confess your sins and receive His loving forgiveness. I have a prayer below my header you can pray with your heart to accept Jesus into your heart. He is inviting all of us to come and know Him. To receive His unconditional love. We are the reason Jesus died on that cross. Don't be too proud to just let this truth pass by...It is no coincidence that you are here today. And for those of us who already know Him, no matter how hard the trials we face, He is always with us...He never lets go! And we, too must repent for whatever taints our growth. For whatever is choking the roots that need to go deeper into His soil of love. To God be the glory! I pray that you are all encouraged as you come and leave and may the Lord's healing, comfort, blessings, wisdom and protection shower on all of you!

Matthew 11:28-30 - "Come to Me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you. Let Me teach you, because I'm humble and gentle, and you will find rest with your souls. For My yoke fits perfectly, and the burden I give you is light."

Who Is A God Like You?
[rcubes 12/18/03]

Sometimes we can't seem to climb a mountain
In the dark valleys, we can't find our way
Losing hope and feeling like giving up
But when I trusted You I saw the Light

Who is a God like You Who pardons our sins?
Who is a God like You Who loves us endlessly?
Who is a God like You Who gave His own Son?
Who is a God like You Who forgives us all the time?

There is no loving God like You
Who always lifts us up when we're feeling low
There will never be a better place
Than to see You face to face

[repeat Chorus]...

He Can't Make It...Or Can He?

Psalm 147:3 - "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." [NIV]

“Oh, my God! I had never seen anything like that!” exclaimed one of my co-workers as I was examining a male inmate, brought by the unit deputy.

He was grimacing in pain. He couldn’t sit up straight, complaining of pain coming from his back. He couldn’t sit right. He was trying to not put pressure on the right buttock. With both wrists secured by a handcuff, he kept moaning slightly.

The deputy pulled me aside. He said, “Ma’am, I just wanted you to know, I never hit him anywhere but only to his left forehead and maybe just the stomach area.”

The inmate just got booked and was just housed in their unit. While waiting to be assigned to have his own bed, the inmate rose to his feet and took a stance. Raising both of his fists up, he was going to aim at the deputy. That was a big mistake! The deputy who went to months or years of training for defense, got him first. In no time, the inmate was down on the floor, subdued and both wrists secured right away with a handcuff.

I lifted the man’s shirt on the back. To see where his complaint of pain was coming from. The deputy had a good reason for telling me where he hit the inmate. On the left side of this man’s body, there were 2 huge visible marks, a big welt with severe discoloration. One on the left buttock, close to the hip and one on the lateral side. But I knew it wasn’t caused by a blow. It looked more like an abscess. Lifting the shirt higher, I found 2 more bumps that looked the same as the previous abscesses. One closer to the right hip and where he was complaining of pain the most was coming from the biggest abscess on the right lower buttock. No wonder he couldn’t sit straight!

“Sir, you have to tell me where these infected areas came from! Were you using heroin?”

“Yes,” was the soft reply with a slight shaking of his head, afraid of what was discovered.

“I had someone shoot it into my back! And I use it everyday!” he added.

“Whewww….,” my co-worker uttered when she saw these. “I had never seen anyone shoot heroin into their backs. Those looked awful. I don’t think he’ll change,” she commented.

I sent the man to the hospital for further evaluation and treatment. I would like to believe, too that there was no more hope in his situation. So trapped in the web of heroin use. But so, it would be the same for others, trapped in adultery, other substance abuse, robbery, pornography, and I could go on and on. But you know what…That was us thinking…Humans…So limited with knowledge and understanding. What we wanted to believe wouldn’t be the same for God Who believed in restoration and healing, otherwise. The One Who sent His own Son to die on the cross to set all of humanity free. That is…if we believe. In that truth!

I pray that most of the heroin users I come in contact with, will discover that their false source of peace and comfort and elation from using this illegal substance is only temporary and destructive. True peace and comfort only comes from knowing Jesus Christ! That’s the truth!