Do Not Be Anxious

There was my loved one resting on an ER bed awaiting the final decision from the treating physician. With the partition curtain missing, it was hard to try to rest and relax as we heard commotions, moaning, beeping alarms and some voices asking for nurses’ help. I couldn’t help but wonder if there were many trauma cases that demanded immediate attention from the nursing staff as each came in and competed with what already was chaotic inside. 

How could my loved one relax? The hunger for privacy was impossible from any angle I looked, whether we were the ones on the hallway beds or inside that room. I tried to reassure. It was still better that we were inside the room.

A concerned nurse who took the blood work at the wee hours came in all of a sudden before going home as their change of shift occurred. She offered a warm blanket and to dim the bright light on the ceiling. We immediately thanked her for going out of her way to offer kindness and empathy. If it meant to have some peace and quiet just by closing eyes and dimming the lights, so be it. It was a simple offer but a much needed intervention that came from an overly-worked nurse who, we saw moments before going to assigned bed,  how she remained kind and compassionate when patients were transferred to her care.

What discernment to a body who bared all to needle sticks, vital signs and other probing instruments! A body who I could tell was ready to surrender to sleep but was never able to because of the storm he was in. Yet, through all that, remained calm, patient, never complaining but instead, tried to ask questions to know more about what was going on.

A lot of “Why’s”. Doubts. Fears. 

Don’t we all go through that whether the circumstances happen all of a sudden or not?

During the xray and blood draws, I was told to go outside to the lobby and wait to be called. As I sat with perhaps, three more patients seeking treatments, I saw their worried look on their faces. I wanted to worry myself, too, as I sat on the cold chair and stared on the tv mounted on the wall, without understanding what was being shown. Fear was knocking on my heart’s door but something was stopping it. Each time.

Then… alive Words started flashing in front of me that was hard not to be heard than that tv on the wall:

^“Don't worry about anything, but in all your prayers ask God for what you need, always asking him with a thankful heart. ⁷ And God's peace, which is far beyond human understanding, will keep your hearts and minds safe in union with Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:6-7 (GNT)

I heard my name being called by an apologetic nurse who thanked me for being patient and understanding. I thanked her instead. I understood the busyness because I was a nurse and was there before. I was in that world where a nurse had a million things to do for several patients at one given time.

“We’re waiting for a bed so your loved one could still be monitored.”

My heart didn’t leap for worries nor fears anymore. I knew that in an hour I waited alone in the lobby in one corner, there was my Refuge Who met me while facing that storm. He surely didn’t stop the storm. But through the heavy downpours and gusty winds, He did calm my heart and that of my loved one’s. All the tests came back normal and that alone was enough for us to rejoice despite that ordeal. The storm didn’t damage us. We came out stronger and went home armed with more knowledge. Thanks be to God, our only Savior.

Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength. - Corrie ten Boom

 Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow. - Swedish Proverb

Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. - Matthew 6:34

Judge!!!

Do you know how to judge?

"Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment.” - John 7:24 (ESV)

Not all things told are "truths". I always try to remember that there are two sides in a story. But the bottom line is... "Which one is the truth?" As mere captives of sins from the beginning, a heart has a hard time to see the light if its eyes are covered and the hearts are calloused with sins.Bring these sins to the Cross and repent.That's the only way to see the truth that comes from God.  There is no moment in each day that the roaring lion doesn't take advantage of, to devour, destroy, and kill someone. Jesus said, "Know the truth.It will set you free..." (John 8:32)

Knowing the truths from God isn't enough.He desires obedience."Be holy! Because He is holy!" (1Peter 1:16)

We need to learn to judge correctly. We need to know what the true spiritual dangers are, lurking to destroy us as followers of Christ.  We need God's guidance. His Wisdom. His discernment.

1 Thessalonians 5 

Father's Day

While some families are busy planning for a summer getaway, my family and I are happy with short trips we make to our favorite places to eat. 

Like today, we went to Vietnam (at least that’s how it feels each time we go to this favorite restaurant). Learning to wrap a piece of steaming hot eggroll on a piece of freshly-washed Romaine lettuce and dipping it on the savory Nouc cham sauce, we all smiled (as the same appetizer never disappoint). As each of our orders was being brought to our cozy spot by the window, I was slowly biting the eggroll, careful not to burn my tongue with the hot veggies inside the crispy wrapper.

Source: pomaitest.wordpress.com

I had a plate of grilled barbeque chicken that came with a piece of lettuce, tomato, cucumber and shredded carrots on one side and a mound of white rice. It came with a small bowl of aromatic broth and another small container that housed the Nouc cham sauce. My son changed his strategy by not ordering his favorite bowl of Pho and instead opted for a stir-fry beef with snow peas, a little bit of mushroom and baby corn. My husband, who remained loyal to the Pho, ordered the usual mixture of a well done flank steak with tendons. He would usually adorn the top with the provided mung bean sprouts, a squeeze from a wedge of lime, and end the concoction with a drop of garlic chili paste, few turns of Sriracha and some hoisin sauce. As the doors closed in behind us when we were done, back to America, into the car and then decided, we would pass by our favorite bakery nearby where once again, we could be transported to Switzerland in no time. 

The scent of butter greeted us as we walked toward the door of the bakery. A long array of different pastries, cakes, and other sweet creations met our eyes. My son ordered the favorite Bear claws, a bag of Kaiser rolls, slices of peanut butter mousse cakes and when he was about done ordering, of course, I had to add apple strudels to his order. I always hoped that I wouldn't confuse the lady taking the order because I knew, I wanted to keep adding this and that to my son's order. I'm so glad that my son was always patient to wait for this mother who would rather stay in the car than go with him and his dad and who might end up buying everything inside the glass cases!!! Nothing like European pastries summoning a customer to try! We have been fanatics! 

Photo Source: Gourmandise bakery (Utah)

That trip was our early Father’s Day celebration to beat the crowd and still enjoy the places we patronized. 

Simple trips that we love to take because we, as a family, enjoy simple things in life and are always grateful to such blessings. My son and I are grateful to have a loving father and husband. One who is a hard worker and who always chooses to do the right thing for whatever is right in the eyes of our good, heavenly Father.

Happy Father’s Day to you, daddy and thank you for all of your love and support!!! Happy Father’s day to all of you dads who are capable of unconditionally loving those around you. 

“Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!" - Matthew 7:9-11 (NIV)

But most of all, thank You dear Father in heaven for everything You have done for us and given us. Thank you for Your love, Your grace, Your mercy, not only on Father’s Day but in each day of our lives. You deserve our thanks above all else!

What Brings Us Home

I knew it was easy for my son to confront a friend, who he thought was sticking to him like a brother for many years. Easy because though it would hurt him, my son knew he needed to let go this time of what was once he thought was a special friendship that differed from the rest. Like the earth not receiving rain, it had been parched with the lack of actions on this friend’s end to agree with the things he said, not only  to him, but to my husband and I, of how grateful he was the way we treated him like our own family, extending that goodness to his own.

Recently, standing by the  kitchen’s island that witnessed the many food preparations out of love for many seasons every time that friend came for a visit, my son slowly disclosed his discernment that something was off from what was being done and shown to him than what his friend nicely would say loudly. He said he never said anything to us because he tried to give him many chances at the span of years, choosing to ignore whenever he would treat him like he wasn’t even there sometimes. Despite him proclaiming how my son was his best friend or like a brother. All my son wanted at that time, was to save their friendship. The other friend either had no clue my son had been feeling his heart’s intentions for a while or he didn’t care because he was busy pursuing the bigger things in his life.

During our heart-to-heart discussion, I was only concerned about my son’s well-being  if he chose to end his friendship. He clearly confirmed... Instead of feeling sad and heartbroken, he felt relieved and like “being free” to let him go. As a mother, I was relieved to hear him say that knowing that unseen wounds were the ones that could hurt the most. At the same time, I also grieved knowing how much my son truly valued his friendship with this fellow and had shown him countless times of his true, brotherly love. My son said that he noticed when this friend went away for college, that was when he started changing and became more and more distant each day. Now that he finished school and was planning to get married, he remained loud with his words of how much he treasured my son and my husband and I. My son added that he understood growing up, they would have different priorities. But he never liked the fact that his words didn’t match his actions. Just this last visit, that friend asked my son to meet up for lunch. My son eagerly finished his projects to make time. Coming back, he said he felt like he was invisible before, during, and after their lunch. He was crushed to see that the card he made on his own for his graduation with his gift that he enclosed, this friend just threw somewhere in his car as if it had no meaning. But it wasn’t the acknowledgement of the card nor the gift that broke his heart. It was the same cold treatment over and over that was slowly killing my son’s joy of seeing him. During one of our conversations, I finally told my son that I had also discerned way long ago about a lot of alarming things but I didn't tell him anything because I wanted him to see such sad actions on his own and decide how to handle such matter on his own. That my husband and I would only intervene if he asked. 

When the proper time to confront him came, this friend was quick to realize and tell my son how he was sorry and he truly meant it whenever he would say that my son was the most genuine friend he had and truly like a brother to him. He sounded so sorry…Then again…Those were just words. Again.

“Mom, how long will it take for him not to change even if I give him another chance this time? But I’m tired.I just want to focus on my work for now,” my son said.

My husband and I felt so blessed of how our son faced this like a mature man as he was expected to be. We respected his decision. Unbeknownst to this friend, my son waited for his anger to die down before confronting him for many days. He knew it would hurt his friend to bring this into his attention but it was much needed in order for him to be true to themselves. His friend is apologetic and perhaps, realizing what he was about to lose…. But it was too late…

Love brings us (wanderers in this place) Home...What are the stuff packed in our hearts that we are going to unload when we get Home??? (pic copyright:offthebeatentrek)

I have learned on my own journey that we all search and want bigger things for our lives in order to feel fulfilled or perhaps, to satisfy our needs. There is nothing wrong in pursuing goals but they do become a problem when we put those things first and let them have a hold on our lives. Oftentimes, we fail to see that the hidden treasures are actually found in the littlest things, already within our reach and there is no need sometimes to wander away in order to seek them. Littlest things…that are hard to see because they are unseen.

I like seeing that quote I requested for my husband to paste on the family room’s wall. It serves as a great reminder for me of the Biggest Thing we can easily miss day to day when we get distracted in hearing and seeing the “big things” in this world. But they don’t bring true satisfaction and contentment. Someday or in any given day, each of us will face our Maker, the Biggest of all things. He has shown His love for us by dying on that cross but what do we have to show in return for His love and mercy? Do we even recognize Him as our True Friend in the first place?

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Rom. 5:8

 “Let all that you do be done in love.” 1 Cor.16:14

 “Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.” Rom.12:9-10

 “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.  The one who fears is not made perfect in love.  We love because He first loved us.” 1 John 4:18-19

 “So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.” 1 Cor. 13:13