The Greatest Is....The "Least"

I couldn’t believe the apology from an email I was waiting for since Friday. A personal inquiry I had sent her before I finally end my career at Corrections as a nurse. To me, it wasn’t even a big deal if she forgot to answer my question. But to my surprise! She apologized for taking a while to reply as she went to another department to confirm and make sure she would give me nothing but the RIGHT answer. It only took over 2 days in reality and those were not even counted as those were weekends and understandably, our offices in the county were closed.

I emailed her right back and thanked her. She might not know me but those little things never went unnoticed to me. Simple acts of service that I hungered for sometimes wherever I went. To get a grande cup of macchiato in Starbucks. Paying at a cash register. Looking for items I needed for a particular recipe in a grocery store.

I had been contemplating to resign before this year is over. I have been feeling that my time in the prison was coming to its end. Still…I am not sure what path to take. Except that with almost 16 years being there, God was the only One Who truly was faithful in guiding me. Calming me during times of trials. Giving me discernment during crucial decision making. Reminding me of His love and forgiveness despite what was thrown at me. Reminding me of His presence and power that truly He was and would always be my Boss as I worked.

Service…That I pray for those years I had done behind those thick walls, I never pleased anyone but only Him.

Anyone wanting to be the greatest must be the least…..the servant of all….

That’s what Jesus said…(Mark 9:35)

I look everywhere…Where is true service nowadays? If one is only devoted to humanity’s cause, more likely a broken heart ensues. But if the motive is love to God, then, nothing can hinder anyone from serving others.

I have learned from working 10 years in a hospital and almost 16 years in the prison, work has no fulfillment if I just viewed it merely as a job.

 But any work, no matter how insignificant it may seem, is truly an opportunity to serve God and man. Doing things with hands seem a mundane thing. But if those hands are paired with a willing heart and a servant attitude, then it becomes significant to whatever service it provides.

I have learned so much wherever the Lord takes me. Like seeing those who claim they are fulfilled because of what they have are not true. To me, those who live fulfilled lives usually are the ones busy serving others faithfully and unconditionally.

Oftentimes, inmates thank me for treatments I have done. Without them knowing, I learn so much from them when I forget my own needs as I try to help them with their ailments.

I am slowly giving hints to wonderful co-workers. With sadness, I know I will miss those who are truly dedicated in helping the incarcerated ones.

I know I will miss a lot of things when I leave...But in reality, there is no resignation under God’s Kingdom. He is just placing His willing servants to places where he or she may grow.

“Where to, Lord? Where to?” are my heart’s cries lately. Without anxiety. Without fear. Because I know, He will always be there no matter where He takes me…

Whatever your task, work heartily, as serving the Lord and not men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward; you are serving the Lord Christ – Colossians 3:23-24

For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many ~ Matthew 20:28

No Baggage

Some relatives stayed with us for a little over two weeks. They came with 3 luggages and on the day of their departure left with even more. A total of 6. But as the lightning lit up the dark skies that early morning last Saturday and the heavens seemed to protest through the deafening boom of thunders the spiritual battle my family and I discerned during that last moment, cries of unsettled heartaches remained. No matter how much we accepted them with love and asked to let go of the unseen spiritual baggage, my husband and I knew, no words would ever go through deaf ears, no loving actions be seen through blurry eyes of deception... Despite this family's struggle to try everything with their own strength to stay here in USA, they knew, my husband and I would never be able to help them if their stay would mean breaking the law or laws. That was the unresolved bitter feelings they allowed to grow in their hearts. They couldn't understand that as blood related, we wouldn't succumb to such kind of ill plans.

My heart grieved with the darts of accusations that followed from an email. A hateful answer to my initiated email filled with compassion and love. I told this relative, I believed in "actions speaking louder than words..." so I was confident, no matter what lies she had thrown at me and which I wouldn't accept, there were actions on our part full of love and concern that they couldn't deny.

Many nights we woke up with heavy hearts. My mental condition a lot weaker than the physical one. But my husband and I and even our child, we all knew... our obedience to Christ would always be the number one option even if it meant being hated by our own families.

This morning, groggily, I woke up with a clear thought though...

Of how Christ died on that wooden cross. His bloodied arms stretched and both hands nailed securely. His head bowed down as He ended His physical journey.

Even on His death, He is inviting all sinners. To come to Him at the foot of that cross. With His open arms. To each sinner to come empty and leave all spiritual baggage behind. Because on His death, that is where each sinner comes to life.

Lately, I had come across Matt Redman's new song "Unbroken Praise..." With my guitar, I loved everything about the simple lyrics and the hymn with it. But this morning, I never liked it. I ended up loving it more...Because that's what God wants...For my life to be the song. A life of unbroken praise that I can offer daily.

Lord, please grant the strength and Your wisdom to me and my family to continue to be Your vessels of love, mercy and compassion. At times where we don't have clear understanding and with hearts heavily wounded and  minds mentally drained, help us remember that You were wounded first. Where we are walking now, You were there first. Thank You Lord...You deserve our praise. You alone...

I love You Lord!

God's purpose was that we Jews who were the first to trust in Christ would bring praise and glory to God. - Ephesians 1:12 (NLT)

Monday Prayer

A prayer...We often don't utter...When our strayed hearts have wandered away from Your truth. Help us Lord to always be brought back on Your path. Remind us to always be willing vessels of Your love and mercy. This world is full of lost people. All people You love. All people You want to be saved. Lord, grant Your strength and wisdom to Your children undergoing persecution. Help us focus on what truly matters in this place. Nothing except to know You. To love You. To accept Your gift of forgiveness. And grow in humility and compassion. To serve You in Spirit and Truth. Help us, Lord...Help us...To be strong in this unseen battles we are in, Your children. Help us to remember we are battling in Your strength not ours. To remind us that in reality, we already have the victory, not because of what we had done or been doing. But because of You. To You Lord be the glory always, forever and ever. In Jesus' mighty Name. Amen.

Awful Bronchitis

I told my son I couldn’t be upset with his dad who had been coughing mildly since yesterday. He wouldn’t heed my advice. 

“Take a nap!” 

As his dad started cleaning minor stuff and decided to get the old, I thought looked like an unstable wooden ladder we had for many years. Ascended each worn out step with full trust and faith as his right hand held the brush, the left hand with a half-filled paint for touching up the white wooden valances he made himself few days ago.

Credit

How could I be upset? I had come down with bronchitis, too for about a week now. Despite lacking nasal congestion, I started hearing odd sounds as I breathed out last Friday night. I thought a velcro was being ripped out of my chest. Yet, I wasn’t having trouble breathing. I remembered…The late afternoons had been windy and perhaps, the unseen pollen that got scattered by hot valley winds had found a victim with hayfever like me.

I didn’t want to be on antibiotics. I was just sick a couple of months back and my doctor had to prescribe two kinds to combat the sinus issues I had at that time. If it was viral, the antibiotics would not work anyway. 

Has anyone of you ever had bronchitis? Mine was only mild but oh boy! The heaviness on the chest was awful and that “grating like sound” every time I exhaled. I didn’t need my stethoscope. But the worse part was the sudden bouts of coughs that made me feel like I would run out of breath. Never had that before! Along with it was the first discovery of the stress those coughs caused on my poor bladder. 

But despite those unwanted symptoms, I could never rest. I would get up and learned to do household chores anyway. 

Vacuum… Coughs…

Laundry… Coughs…

Clean the toilets and showers… Coughs…

Cook… Coughs… (as I struggled to cover my mouth)…

I was just grateful that the xray showed I didn’t have pneumonia. This had been a good learning season for me. To learn many home remedies to ease up such discomfort.  I had never downed so many kinds of broths and homemade soups in my life. Me? A coffee drinker learned to adjust to drinking green tea with lemon. My pockets always filled with honey-lemon candies. 

I heard my husband cough once or twice. 

“Rest!” I yelled. But with the tone that never forced him, too… I knew he would know his limit.

I just didn’t want him to end up like me having bronchitis. 

It’s one of those illnesses that makes one Christian stop and think and wish… for the Lord to return…

Because when He does…there is no time for awful, awful bronchitis…

By the way, for the first time...I have learned how to use an inhaler. Careful not to accidentally waste the mist and careful not to accidentally spray my eyes.