Monday Prayer

A prayer...We often don't utter...When our strayed hearts have wandered away from Your truth. Help us Lord to always be brought back on Your path. Remind us to always be willing vessels of Your love and mercy. This world is full of lost people. All people You love. All people You want to be saved. Lord, grant Your strength and wisdom to Your children undergoing persecution. Help us focus on what truly matters in this place. Nothing except to know You. To love You. To accept Your gift of forgiveness. And grow in humility and compassion. To serve You in Spirit and Truth. Help us, Lord...Help us...To be strong in this unseen battles we are in, Your children. Help us to remember we are battling in Your strength not ours. To remind us that in reality, we already have the victory, not because of what we had done or been doing. But because of You. To You Lord be the glory always, forever and ever. In Jesus' mighty Name. Amen.

Awful Bronchitis

I told my son I couldn’t be upset with his dad who had been coughing mildly since yesterday. He wouldn’t heed my advice. 

“Take a nap!” 

As his dad started cleaning minor stuff and decided to get the old, I thought looked like an unstable wooden ladder we had for many years. Ascended each worn out step with full trust and faith as his right hand held the brush, the left hand with a half-filled paint for touching up the white wooden valances he made himself few days ago.

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How could I be upset? I had come down with bronchitis, too for about a week now. Despite lacking nasal congestion, I started hearing odd sounds as I breathed out last Friday night. I thought a velcro was being ripped out of my chest. Yet, I wasn’t having trouble breathing. I remembered…The late afternoons had been windy and perhaps, the unseen pollen that got scattered by hot valley winds had found a victim with hayfever like me.

I didn’t want to be on antibiotics. I was just sick a couple of months back and my doctor had to prescribe two kinds to combat the sinus issues I had at that time. If it was viral, the antibiotics would not work anyway. 

Has anyone of you ever had bronchitis? Mine was only mild but oh boy! The heaviness on the chest was awful and that “grating like sound” every time I exhaled. I didn’t need my stethoscope. But the worse part was the sudden bouts of coughs that made me feel like I would run out of breath. Never had that before! Along with it was the first discovery of the stress those coughs caused on my poor bladder. 

But despite those unwanted symptoms, I could never rest. I would get up and learned to do household chores anyway. 

Vacuum… Coughs…

Laundry… Coughs…

Clean the toilets and showers… Coughs…

Cook… Coughs… (as I struggled to cover my mouth)…

I was just grateful that the xray showed I didn’t have pneumonia. This had been a good learning season for me. To learn many home remedies to ease up such discomfort.  I had never downed so many kinds of broths and homemade soups in my life. Me? A coffee drinker learned to adjust to drinking green tea with lemon. My pockets always filled with honey-lemon candies. 

I heard my husband cough once or twice. 

“Rest!” I yelled. But with the tone that never forced him, too… I knew he would know his limit.

I just didn’t want him to end up like me having bronchitis. 

It’s one of those illnesses that makes one Christian stop and think and wish… for the Lord to return…

Because when He does…there is no time for awful, awful bronchitis…

By the way, for the first time...I have learned how to use an inhaler. Careful not to accidentally waste the mist and careful not to accidentally spray my eyes. 

Has Anyone Asked?

“I can’t believe it!”

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I had been using different test strips and alternating the machines as I checked the morning blood sugars of the inmates whose names I had already given to the unit so they could be waken up and be ready when I got there. Every minute was valuable and not to be wasted as everyone’s “chow” carts (breakfasts) got delivered early. Oftentimes, two or more units getting their rations at the same time. For some reason, the inmate’s blood sugar kept registering “Error”. Battery surely wasn’t running low. I just opened that bottlewith fifty test strips so I knew that was a fresh batch.

“Let me go to the Clinic real quick and change my machine and the strips!” I advised to the inmates, still yawning and dragging themselves for those who were housed in the top tier, to come down and wait behind the bars that stood between us. I could hear silent protests but remained a “hush-hush” as the deputy had been escorting me the whole time. I apologized and they didn’t expect that. Used to harsh words amongst themselves and with Custody staff, my apology brought a surprising reaction from each woman’s face.

“Are you coming back right away?” they all asked as I took steps in a fast pace…I never answered.

Almost running, I was sure the north control was watching my moves. In a couple of minutes, I was back in that particular unit and the women, who patiently waited was grateful that it didn’t take a long time for me to return.

“You’re fast, Nurse,” came from a middle-aged diabetic woman who sometimes, gave me a hard time if I came too early and always refused her insulin even if the chow cart was already in the unit. Despite me explaining it could be given half an hour before, she was always persistent and always gave me that attitude that I couldn’t win over her argument. 

She didn’t know. I remained calm and allowed her to refuse one time. It wasn’t because I was scared of her but because I knew…she had all the rights to do so. And I was sure she knew that. Like others who would use that “right” to play games or manipulate situations. For their selfish advantages.

To see her smile and even read her own sugar level back to me, seeing I was recording it with my pen, was surely an extra-ordinary gesture for me. To top it all, to hear her say “Thank You” wiped away the onset of weariness that came from working all night long which was a busy night and always had been short of staff. Like that moment, I was just helping the LVN’s do their accuchecks because they had many bodies to follow up each and every day. Some requiring sugar checks four times a day.

She opened her right palm to receive the insulin syringe with the right dose she needed before eating her breakfast. With slightly dim surroundings, I could see her clearly injecting it to her abdomen. She handed it right back and thanked me again. The smile lingered as the figure with white t-shirt and orange pants turned away.

I knew…she would never forget that I rushed back. I hoped she would never give anyone a problem not just me during Accuchecks. Because she knew…it wasn’t only her waiting. There were many others lined up, like her, in each segment. In each unit.

Yeah…I learned it before. Manipulating with my own effort to get what I wanted. There are others out there, too. Not happy when things ended up not on my terms. But one thing was sure…

God is never slow to answer. He is quick to reach out His arm and save those who needs help.Anytime…Anywhere…And if He doesn't answer, it doesn't mean He's not doing anything...Maybe the "doing" needs to start within that person's heart...

The question is… “Has anyone asked Him???”

I lift my hands in prayer to you. I am waiting for your help, like a dry land waiting for rain. Hurry and answer me, Lord! I have lost my courage. Don’t turn away from me. Don’t let me die and become like the people lying in the grave. Show me your faithful love this morning. I trust in you. – Psalm 143:6-8 (ERV)

The Hard Icing

I heard a new thing last night as I quickly glanced at the pile of paper plates, plastic forks and knives and a big box containing a medium sized, beautifully iced cake, placed on the desk by the Supervisor’s by one of our co-workers. I heard the head of our department started giving cakes every month to celebrate those who had birthdays for that particular month. As in last night…April’s celebrants… Whoever they may be…

The growing pang of hunger and the sight and smell of a freshly pot of brewed coffee were taking roots in my mind and stomach as we all labored and continuously kept hitting the doctors’ orders, trying to finish them. A couple of big bins. Despite the shortage of staff, it was always a pleasure to work with this particular crew I always worked with. Everyone just kept working. Even as we all started getting a piece and a cup of coffee, we all shared jokes, stories, and sometimes, unwelcomed grapevine tried to mix in. Yet, everyone went back to their own computer station. Answering phone calls that joined the chaotic night and seeing many hospital returns that were sent earlier to the county’s ER after different fights broke from different units.

“I wanna’ warm up this icing!” 

All of a sudden, this nurse yelled loudly and everyone looked at her with puzzled expressions as most people would want their “cakes” cold. Especially with good frostings.

“Why?” asked the Supervisor.

“Because the icing seems to be hard already…”

“Yeah! But it’s good!” added another co-worker. She turned to where I was sitting and in a quiet voice said, “We hid it in our refrigerator, Rcubes. ‘Coz we had a potluck that night we got that cake so it was just too much to be eaten with the other food.”

By then, no one was paying attention. There was no soul at that moment thinking about healthy eating habits as we all savored the sweetness from the buttercream frosting, despite being slightly hard only to have the teeth sank in a big morsel of white cake.

“That’s nice!” I uttered. For our Administrator to do that. As my mind wandered from years ago. With this same Administrator and other higher-ranking ones I faced myself as they gave me a hard time regarding my position. All the lies I heard over and over. The harsh decision they placed upon me, by demoting me to a Per Diem from working “job sharing with another nurse” for many years. (Which God turned to a blessing, much later as I pondered because after that, they couldn’t force me anymore to work in whatever shifts, in whatever days. The table turned and it was on my advantage as I gave my availability and they couldn’t do anything anymore to hurt me).

It was unsettling for me that many, many good nurses I knew and had worked with for a long time were let go…None from the higher positions seemed to have listened to what each one would say. If there was a problem, there was no immediate solution but either to intimidate a particular person perceived to be the problem or terminate them. It had been going on for years. Even now…

The cake might appeal to senses because it looked so soft and delicate. Until…One took that first bite starting with that hard icing…

And as I disposed of the paper plate, I grabbed my pen to go back to putting in the orders from the charts, I thought… how similar that HARDENED ICING was to those hearts coated with pride. They might seem to be good inside…But…

It’s easy to see, with that kind of heart, it would dull that person’s ability to perceive and understand. But even worse, this kind of heart might not recognize right from wrong…

“Go for it!” I suddenly told that nurse who wanted to melt the icing.

“If that’s what’s best for your palate, go!” 

She smiled...

(Unknown to her, I prayed...For everyone's hearts working that night to melt in His presence and be able to confess and truly know His grace, love and truth...)

If we confess our sins, he is ^vfaithful and just to forgive us our sins and ^rto cleanse us from all unrighteousness. -1 John 1:9 (ESV)

For the wrath of God ^lis revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth. For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them.  For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world,in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse. For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened. Claiming to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things. Therefore ^sGod gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves – Romans 1:18-24 (ESV)