Off The Beaten Trek

Sin Desert

“We wish the Lord had killed us in Egypt. When we lived there, we could at least sit down and eat all the bread and meat we wanted. But you have brought us out here into this desert, where we are going to starve.” – Exodus 16:3 (CEV)

I’m going on my 5^th week since I hurt my knee. I saw my doctor the other day to make sure I have the clearance for me to return to work since I can’t work on modified duty being a Per Diem now in the prison. He gave me another note to give to work and have me off again for 2 weeks. The knee remains a little swollen. Without pain, I am just having a little hard time with its range of motion.

Despite the lack of income on my part, I am grateful for God’s provisions. Daily. We have food to eat. Able to pay the monthly bills. This time, if I’m contented before, the more contentment I feel deep inside knowing that God’s promise to be there for us never falters. There are times that worries want to take a residence in my heart. But when the sWORD comes to mind, worries are replaced with His truth.

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. - John 1:1 (NIV)

This morning, He led me to Exodus 16. Where the Israelites journeyed by Sin Desert. A vast and hostile environment of sand and stone. A place barren and perhaps, with nothing much to offer compared to the Land of Egypt, where the Israelites resided before. Egypt…The land of life’s comfort and pleasures. That barren place is surely the perfect spot for God to test and shape the character of His people.

Oh how they complained! When the Israelites met dangers, shortages and inconveniences. That such circumstances would make them want to go back to Egypt desperately, instead of trusting in God’s promises and provisions.

I learned something new this morning as I continue to journey in this place, Earth…The Sin Desert…

Any difficult circumstances produce so much stress and a natural response is for me to complain and whine. But the question gnawing in my heart is…

“Do I really want to go back to Egypt?”

As I reflect on many stages that had come and gone in my life, I know much better now that because of God’s grace and mercy, any stress peeking at my heart’s door does not come from such difficult trials. It can arise from a heart not willing to trust God completely.

My answer then....is a big No!!!

Because going back to Egypt is only a quick escape. In the long run, it will stop me completely on my tracks and will make me not to press on…

Whatever we are facing today, I pray that God’s power and wisdom will help us even more to trust in Him and make no room for any worries in our hearts.

May we “be strong in the Lord and His mighty power!!!”

Lord, I lift up our lives, Your children's lives to Your hands. Help us deal with difficult circumstances not with our own strength but by Yours. Help us remain joyful, always lifting our hands in prayers to You. Help us focus only on the Word...Jesus...Thank You for Your provisions. Your love. Your grace. Your mercy. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

Lift My Life Up (by Unspoken)

You brought me this far
So why would I question you now
You have provided
So why would I start to doubt
I’ve never been stranded
Abandoned or left here to fight alone
So I’m giving you control

I lift my life, lift my life up
I give it all in surrender
I lift my heart, lift my heart up
You can have it forever
All my dreams, all my plans
Lord I leave it in your hands
I lift my life, lift my life up
Have your way in me
Have your way in me

If peace is a river
Then let it sweep over me
I’m under fire
I know it’s refining me
When I hear you calling out
I follow now wherever the road may go
I know you’re leading me home

I lift my life, lift my life up
I give it all in surrender
I lift my heart, lift my heart up
You can have it forever
All my dreams, all my plans
Lord I leave it in your hands
I lift my life, lift my life up
Have your way in me
Have your way in me

Take my life and let it be all for you
Take my life and let it be all for you

I lift my life, lift my life up
I give it all in surrender
I lift my heart, lift my heart up
You can have it forever

All my dreams, all my plans
Lord I leave it in your hands
I lift my life, lift my life up
Have your way with me
Have your way with me

Take my life and let it be all for you

You brought me this far so why would I question You now
You have provided so why would I start to doubt
I've never been stranded, abandoned or left here to fight alone
So I'm giving You control

I lift my life, lift my life up
I give it all in surrender
I lift my heart, lift my heart up
You can have it forever
All my dreams, all my plans
Lord I leave it in Your hands
I lift my life, lift my life up

Have Your way in me
Have Your way in me

If peace is a river then let it sweep over me
If I'm under fire I know it's refining me
When I hear You calling out I follow now wherever the road may go
I know You're leading me home

I lift my life, lift my life up
I give it all in surrender
I lift my heart, lift my heart up
You can have it forever
All my dreams, all my plans
Lord I leave it in Your hands
I lift my life, lift my life up

Have Your way in me
Have Your way in me

Take my life and let it be all for You
Take my life and let it be all for You

I lift my life, lift my life up
I give it all in surrender
I lift my heart, lift my heart up
(Take my life)

I lift my life, lift my life up
I give it all in surrender
(Take my heart)
I lift my heart, lift my heart up
You can have it forever
All my dreams, all my plans
Lord I leave it in Your hands
I lift my life, lift my life up

Have Your way with me
Have Your way with me
Have Your way with me
Have Your way with me

Take my life and let it be all for You
Read more at http://www.songlyrics.com/unspoken/lift-my-life-up-lyrics/#gmvGs7ddCiGtlyz4.99

The Stairway

It takes me longer now to go up and down our stairs as I continue to allow healing post my right knee injury. Going on for a month now. Well…even the chores I can finish in no time takes me longer to accomplish. But by God’s grace, I am grateful that I am able to finish each. Each day. Longer…But still completed. And despite the swelling on my right knee that is slowly going down, I am grateful that I am not having pain. I’m just limited to flexing more than straightening my right lower leg. The routine use of an anti-inflammatory medication and ice continues…as well as resting the affected leg here and there when I feel that a bag of cement seems to be wrapped around it.

“Mom, it sounds like you need some oil there,” my son jokingly uttered as he walked right behind me as we both were descending on the steps the other day. He was just trying to be funny because he could see…I was slow going down the stairs. I turned around to see his eyes full of concern and his arms extended, ready to catch me in case I fell.

“Why are you there behind me?”

“Mom, it’s okay. I’m gonna’ help you in case…”

“I’m fine. I’m not having pain. I just can’t bend my knee the way it’s supposed to be bent.”

We both reached the bottom of the steps. With my big smile on my face for achieving this simple victory of not having a mishap. My son, behind me, his face also smiling as he took a deep sigh of relief. We both proceeded to the kitchen and made our breakfast together.

“Don’t forget to say ‘Thank You, Lord’ in any situation,” I reminded my son, as we both ate our meal.

“Trust me…There are always those “blessings in disguise” even in difficult circumstances.”

I knew…Because I just conquered those steps from our stairway. As my son gloried in his youth and strength, I gloried in the experiences I had gone through in my life. “Been there…Done that…” And as my heart by faith accepted His truth, I knew since…

Jesus is the stairway between heaven and earth…Because of Him, I learn so much about His providence. My prayers go up…His blessings come down…He is the ladder. The only way for anyone to reach heaven. And as I continue to journey down here in this place, despite the many circumstances I have encountered and are about to still face, I am confident that Jesus never leaves me.

My steps might be a lot slower. But there is no stopping in continuing to press on because like my son, others are watching me. Not so much with the injury but how I react to it. And I will always boast…boast in the Name of Jesus that He is the One Who empowers me to accomplish anything… And I know…He is patiently waiting at the top of the stairway...

So…it’s okay to be slow sometimes….

Slow but surely able to finish…

To finish well…

The Swollen Knee

Photo Credit

“I can see the swelling and a little bit of bruise,” my doctor uttered as he tried to bend my right knee cautiously though I advised him that I could tolerate a high level of pain.

Days before, I was rushing to go into the backyard as I waved goodbye to my son who was leaving to go to school. I accidentally hit my right knee as I swung open the door leading to the garage and the “bump pain” didn’t bother me. I went to the backyard and started pulling some unsightly weeds lodged superficially in between the gravel. With bending and squatting for a little over an hour, I felt an increasing tightness and soreness with that knee. Still…I didn’t pay attention and continued my house chores.

A couple of days later, I saw the swelling increasing around my knee region. The bruising slowly fading away where I initially got hit. It was harder to bend my knee that time without using both of my hands to aid it.

But…I never complained of pain. Immediately, I took a small dose of medication that would help with the swelling and iced the area. I emailed my work and made them aware that I would not be able to work the shifts I picked up for this weekend. Then, I decided to see my doctor who was not alarmed because of the lack of pain.

“What are you doing? Just rest,” my husband cautioned as he saw me vacuuming while doing the laundry.

“But you know me…I can’t be still…I’m okay. I’m wearing the brace I bought and careful about my movement,” I reassured.

As him and our son were on vacation this past week, it was a great time to be with them, despite the mishap on my knee.

I felt not being able to blog nor visit friends. I just wanted to get a break. But in these periods of rest, I often think about those who suffer much more than what’s bothering me. And how my situation pales to what burden others must carry. But what admiration I have for those who choose to sing praises to God despite the circumstances around them. Those who continue to pray and thank God no matter how difficult the trials they are facing. How I want that kind of attitude!!!

How real it is that our “walk as Christians” never stop. No matter what storms we face, we continue to journey. This journey that is not marked with pleasure but more of “in the midst of troubles.” There is a choice. To see those troubles and let them overwhelm us or see God Who is bigger than any trouble Who promises to be there for us at all times.

Though I walk in the midst of trouble, You will revive me; You will stretch forth Your hand against the wrath of my enemies, And Your right hand will save me. (Psalm 138:7;NASB)

God…Who is the “All-Sufficient” Support we could ever have and all we could ever need…The Refuge…The Strength…Available to all…Anytime…Anywhere…Oh…How He loves us all…

Persisting To Get The Blessing

“So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.” But Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.” – Genesis 32:24-26 (NIV)

Photo Credit

I barely sat down to relieve the evening Charge Nurse when I got a call from the Intake Nurse.

With a tone of desperation, he complained, “We’ve been busy down here Rcubes. There was a combative man they brought in from another jail earlier in the day and he remained very combative. I tried calling the ER doctor but he would rather see the man and right now, the deputies are very busy. They're not happy that they have to do that at this time.”

“Give me a minute and I’ll be there…”

I saw him. Reminded me of the movie “Silence of the Lambs”. Like the character Hannibal Lecter, his head was covered with a spit mask. I adjusted my fogging up glasses to prevent it from doing so, as I turned up the light switch and barely illuminated his naked form, sitting on the metal chair, all extremities strapped with added handcuffs as he struggled to make his wrists free. In so doing , he kept hurting the previous cuts he had and I could see, the gauze dressing covering his cuts were becoming loose. As blood trickled a little bit on some parts of his wrists. As metal (handcuff)slid against metal (safety chair), his random yelling changed to profanities as he saw me peering through the tiny glass window. With my mind not understanding what he was trying to say except I could sense his intense anger.

“Who did you talk to?” I asked the Intake Nurse with reference to the doctor he previously called.

“Dr.Y…”

I recalled the name few nights I was there at work. When I spoke with the same doctor two times and though both of the situations didn’t seem urgent, nurses got it that he seemed to be giving advices every time to bring the inmates to the county hospital’s ER. It was not a big deal. Except…most of the busy nights, the burden fell on deputies who needed to bring them and with the shortage of staff, let alone the thousands of bodies they needed to watch, often, made such unnecessary trips difficult. I read the combative inmate’s chart to gather more information before calling him again. As a Charge Nurse, it was my responsibility to help out the overwhelmed Intake Nurse. Sometimes, it was easier to just wish I wasn’t. Then, the responsibilities would be a lot less on my hands. But that night…It was on me…

I called him…Dr. Y…I told him I wasn’t questioning his decision to see the combative inmate. But informed him that we used to give a combination of 3 drugs that helped the agitated inmates to calm down. I asked for his permission, not letting him talk as he uttered, “Bring…”the whole time I was talking…He struggled to cut through my talking….and not being given a chance, let out a sigh and with a very nice, calm, approving voice, he uttered:

“Okay! Go ahead!”

“Okay, guys!” (I yelled to 2 Intake Nurses)…

“Prepare your meds!”

“You got the order?” asked the Intake Nurses, smiling and with their eyes growing bigger with surprise.

They knew it was tough to get that order. I had to struggle and in doing so, I got that blessing.

And so it is, too with a lot of things in our lives. But we can choose to approach those things we pursue with fear or rather,we can also opt to learn to be persistent in doing so... Like Jacob, who was afraid to see his brother Esau, decided to pray. He ended up having a wrestling match all alone, all night with an angel. Not letting the angel go, even if it meant having his hip dislocated. He remained persistent so he could get blessed. And he won.

God encourages all of us to be persistent in all areas of our lives. Through tough times, we develop stronger character. Through persistent prayers, we can prevail! Because we can pray, not in our own power, but with His!

Don’t pray when you feel like it. Have an appointment with the Lord and keep it. A man is powerful on his knees. ~ Corrie Ten Boom

And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don't know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. – Romans 8:26 (NLT)

“Praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints,” – Ephesians 6:18 (ESV)

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. ⁷And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:6-7 (ESV)

By the way...that inmate fell asleep and remained calm all night long. He probably woke up right on time when the Psych Doctor came to evaluate on him and the other ones...

Sin Desert

The Stairway

The Swollen Knee

Persisting To Get The Blessing

Encouragers

Friends