My Prayer Tonight

^{I kneel in prayer to the Father. All beings in heaven and on earth receive their life from him. God is wonderful and glorious. I pray that his Spirit will make you become strong followers and that Christ will live in your hearts because of your faith. Stand firm and be deeply rooted in his love. I pray that you and all of God's people will understand what is called wide or long or high or deep. I want you to know all about Christ's love, although it is too wonderful to be measured. Then your lives will be filled with all that God is. - Ephesians 3:14-19 (CEV)}

Lord, tonight, I just want to lift up all of Your children. For our hearts to be revived by Your love and grace. For You to manifest in our lives, strengthening us to be willing vessels in the work You have started in each of us. Until You complete it. Lord, thank You for Your love and mercy. Thank You for Who You are. Fill our hearts with Your Holy Spirit and use us as Your instruments for Your glory. May You be glorified alone in everything we do. For those still wandering, still doubting, may You soften their hardened hearts, open their closed eyes and ears so they will come to know and accept Your gift of grace. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

Blowfish

For if anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. – Galatians 6:3 (NASB)

Everyone who is proud in heart is an abomination to the LORD; Assuredly, he will not be unpunished.

- Proverbs 16:5 (NASB)

But He gives a greater grace. Therefore it says, "GOD IS OPPOSED TO THE PROUD, BUT GIVES GRACE TO THE HUMBLE." – James 4:6 (NASB)

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; - Philippians 2:3 (NASB)

Like clouds and wind without rain is a man who boasts of his gifts falsely. – Proverbs 25:14 (NASB)

We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ, - 2 Corinthians 10:5 (NASB)

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“Blowfish! That’s it! You’re like a blowfish! (expletive)…” yelled the deputy who brought a 19 year old male, newly-booked in our prison.

Sitting with his wrists cuffed behind his back, he looked briefly at the deputy, then to each of our (medical staff) faces, his eyes burning with arrogance that he didn’t do anything wrong. He just wanted to help himself.

“What happened? I just saw you 2 hours ago?” asked the male nurse who previously treated him.

Two hours prior, he was about to lie down on the assigned small bunk in his segment. He felt a strong blow to his left eye as discoloration quickly set in. His left eye becoming puffy. Another blow hit his mouth where he sustained a small cut on the middle of his bottom, slightly swollen lips. Being new, he was a target by those inmates prowling on newcomers. Making a statement as if they owned that place. Because they were strong. Fists proving such power. He didn’t fight back as the deputies in the unit stopped the fight on time. Before this young man succumbed to more injuries.

The male nurse made sure he didn’t need to go to the hospital. But gave him medications to help with his pain and swelling.

The medications were not that strong but its strength was the maximum correctional nurses were allowed to dispense to sick inmates. He claimed he took a few but he felt the pain becoming more intense. No relief…That despite the harsh event that occurred at first, was replaced by another caring inmate wanting comfort for him that he offered his own medications issued by the doctor to this young man. He swallowed a few. The name he forgot according to him. Few minutes later, his lips swelled three times its size. His complexion becoming red all over and with itching that came on, he started scratching his arms until they became redder.  He was obviously allergic to what was given to him.

“That’s why you’re not supposed to take anything that anyone gives you here except what is given by the medical staff,” yelled the deputy.

We sent him out as the doctor requested we not gave him anything until he examined him himself. A couple of syringes and IV medications on hand as I also ran to get an Epi-pen on a stand-by as we waited for the ambulance to take him. In ER, he was given the same medications we had prepared. Every nurse was concerned and made sure he was able to breathe. His lips returned to just a mild swelling he sustained from the punch earlier. The redness on his body completely disappeared. He wasn’t checking each of our faces anymore. He was looking with more gratitude as I sensed despite the lack of words. He knew, he was trying to be self-reliant and not believed what was told by the treating nurse. Instead, listened to another inmate he shouldn’t have trusted.

“I’m feeling better now…” he spoke.

“Thank you…” he added as he looked at each nurse’s faces…He got up and this time we, the medical staff knew…He would be a better listener… Especially to medical advices…Because no inmate knew better when it came to saving lives. And even if they were medically trained outside, they were not authorized to do so behind bars.

His shadow was long gone but still remained in my memory. The shadow that resembled mine once. Surely, I was a “blowfish” like him. Puffed up with pride before Christ’s grace resided in my heart. Self-reliant. Thinking I could do everything on my own. But I was wrong. Christ proved me wrong. For pride was not from Jesus.  And as He helped me be quick in not letting my “head”  and “heart” puffed up ever since, He also taught me first…in knowing when to spill compassion and to give favorable allowances to others’ faults.

In the first place, I must try to describe pride to you. I might paint it as being the worst malformation of all the monstrous things in creation; it hath nothing lovely in it, nothing in proportion, but everything in disorder. It is altogether the very reverse of the creatures which God hath made, which are pure and holy. Pride, the first-born son of hell, is indeed like its parent, all unclean and vile, and in it there is neither form, fashion, nor comeliness. – Charles Spurgeon

God's Seal

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But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love

– Psalm 33:18

But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you. – Psalm 39:7

My soul faints with longing for your salvation, but I have put my hope in your word. – Psalm 119:81

I didn’t want to waste the opportunity. Of sharing God’s grace as the newly-incarcerated middle-aged man rested on the exam table. The newly-started IV continuing to drip in that transparent chamber hanging up from the metal pole that went to his vein. I slowly removed the sticky EKG pads and kept helping the other nurse who saw him. Complaining of chest pains that never went away, the nurse determined he was having true chest pains as the EKG returned abnormal. 

“Is it helping?” I asked as I pointed at the oxygen prongs going through each of his nostrils. A yellow aspirin I just handed with very little water prior.

“Yes, Ma’am,” he replied. The words barely let out from his opened mouth as he took a deep breath and tears started welling from the corners of his eyes.

“What’s wrong? Still having chest pain?” I assessed. The other nurse got up, leaving just the two of us behind in the exam room as I reassured her that I wouldn’t leave her patient so she could finish her charting as we waited for the summoned ambulance.

“I’m just afraid…”he uttered, this time, with his words mixed with what I thought were soft sobs.

I let him talked…

“I needed a heart transplant, Ma’am….I might not make it…” he added as he let the withheld tears fall and wet his cheeks. His face etched with lines on his forehead, clearly showing a much older age for what was stated in his medical chart.

I felt a nudging. It wasn’t painful. Coming from my own heart… A nudge sometimes I had struggle with before. Despite what was told…as I believed…That I must share what I knew. After being saved from my own heart cries. 

As I remembered what Spurgeon wrote:

“Quick must be the hand if an impression is to be made upon the wax…”

He was talking about putting a seal while the wax was hot…Otherwise, if allowed to cool off, the seal would be in vain…

There in front of me, this man with a heart softened by his heart cries… I knew He was there watching us…Giving me this eagerness to quickly share anything that he could easily understand… Not because of my mere words but the Truth that needed to be stamped on this man’s life like a wax that just got dropped, able to receive His impression while he has remaining breaths.

“Do you believe in God?” I asked. Surprised to the courage given at that moment. Not caring anymore even if another soul heard. Except…It remained…It was just plainly him and I in that tiny room. Surrounded with gauzes, antibacterial wipes, cotton balls and other medical supplies. As the cursor constantly blinked from the computer nestled on the wooden table.

“Yes, Ma’am…” he quickly acknowledged. 

I sensed I didn’t need to elaborate. His Word always never returned empty...It would accomplish what It desired at that time and would achieve its purpose…

He slowly raised his right arm, careful not to move the left one with the IV. Drying and wiping his tears, he took a deep breath as he continued to listen to what I would say next.

“Then pray…For nothing is impossible with God…”

“Yes…” he replied. As a smile appeared from his haggard face. 

I knew right there…In that unexpected moment… There was hope. This man needed hope more than a heart transplant. 

That’s the Truth…There is always hope whenever the divine Hands set the seal of His sacred love upon a broken man’s heart…If a man’s heart is broken, may it seek the stamp of His grace…

While there’s time…

No acts of pardon are ever passed on the other side of the grave, but pardons are plentiful on earth. Jesus suffered for the sins of all who trust him; so suffered that they can never be condemned, since Jesus was punished in their stead. He that believeth on Jesus hath set to his seal that God is true, and he shall receive God's seal, setting him apart as a choice and chosen spirit. Oh that the seal would fall upon you now, and impress the image of Jesus upon your heart forever! – Charles Spurgeon