Without Love



"Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. – Luke 6:37 (NIV)

“They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, "All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!" – John 8:7 (NLT) 

“Don't let anyone capture you with empty philosophies and high-sounding nonsense that come from human thinking and from the spiritual powers of this world, rather than from Christ.” – Colossians 2:8 (NLT)

“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.” – 1 Corinthians 13:1 (NIV)

“Ms. N! Go through that door!” I called the inmate the deputy escorted down to the Clinic to be evaluated for her complaint of right wrist pain after falling from her bunk bed.

“Not yet! Rcubes!” hollered one of our medical secretaries as she pointed to the deputy talking with the Infirmary Deputy and motioned me to follow her as she needed to tell me something before seeing her.

“Just want to warn you, nurse. That she always complain about something. When she said she fell and hurt her wrist, I don’t see anything wrong with it. She’s that type who always wants something. I don’t want to do an injury report if I don’t have to,” she added.

“No problem. But it doesn’t hurt to take a look at it. Because we don’t want anything to come back to you and I just in case something gets worse. Because other problems don’t show until much later,” I replied.
She was young. Her long hair dangling as she moved forward toward the chair I told her to sit on. Everything was normal. Including her wrist. She thanked me. I showed her how ready I was to deal with any possible problem by having the cold ice pack ready. The Motrin for pain. And the flexible wrap to wrap her wrist with. But I didn’t need to give any of those. 

She was moving her wrist well. There was no swelling. There was no deformity. She never winced nor grimaced at any time. 

I sent her back to her unit with a reminder…That she could always seek help from us. In case, something might get worse. Any symptom. She thanked me. The deputy sighed with relief that she didn’t need to do any injury report.

I did my job not as a nurse. But as a Christian believer. Yes, a follower of Christ. Knowing that what His Word said, there was no bias in Him. I am not to judge whether someone has true injuries or not. 

Because it goes the same deep within. From their hearts. I am not to judge who’s got a broken heart or not. Because in reality, everyone needs help. And it’s only the healing from Christ alone that can help that heart heals. 

It is His Word that helps me deal with things that come in my way not only at my work but everywhere I go. It is good to ask myself, “What would Jesus do?” I know what Jesus does always come with love. 

Love that is…patient…Kind… Does not envy… Does not boast…It isn’t proud… Doesn’t dishonor others… Not self-seeking… Not easily angered… It keeps no record of wrongs… Love that does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth…

Always protects… Always hopes… Always perseveres…(1 Corinthians 13)

“What would you do?”

Into Your Hands



For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath beforehand ordained, that we should walk in them. - Ephesians 2:10 (NIV)

Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither—whatever they do prospers. 
- Psalm 1:1-3 (NIV)

Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. - 2 Timothy 2:15 (NIV)

If anyone serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there will my servant be also. If anyone serves me, the Father will honor him. - John 12:26 (ESV)



My husband and I started laughing so hard . The anticipated text came in to both of our cell phones.
Breathing a sigh of relief, as our laughter echoed in the whole family room, we read the same text that read “I’m okay.” It was from our son. Away for a night and 2 days. A mandatory orientation in the college where he was supposed to go this Fall. 

As a mother, that night seemed the longest. As I cracked open the dark room. My son’s bedroom. The smell of freshly washed sheets wafted, coming softly to my nostrils. The silhouette of his art slightly visible on the walls. There was only one missing

My son…Our son…

And how my husband and I missed him last night. He had been good about updating us with what was going on in his orientation. I knew he was excited. As he started taking each step into discovering new adventures. 

Our son… 

Who used to steer his Fischer Price car as his feet propelled it fast then suddenly made a quick turn, making it glide in a precise circle in our living rooms. Its vinyl-tiled floors, which my husband and I installed in our old house, scratched with glistening white streak marks from his “pretend car’s black wheels.” Yes, that toddler who enjoyed the bubble baths…Took pictures with theme parks’ characters…Made little pancakes on Saturdays with his daddy…Counting with his numbers…Drawing or sketching with his markers…Who gave unexpected hugs and sweet kisses…

Now…A grown-up man…

The gnawing fear in a mother’s heart from his separation slowly disappeared…as waves of thoughts flooded this mother’s heart…Waves of merciful grace that reminded me every time I wanted to be faithless that I should be strong instead…Because He has better plans…As He always did no matter what trial my husband and I had gone through. He always sustained us both with His grace, love, and strength…

I slept…without worries…Knowing that despite it would be hard to let our son go and step out into this place filled with uncertain things, he would be okay…Knowing that my husband and I would be letting him go…Into His Hands…

I’m okay…Good morning…Luvu…” my son texted to us this morning. I smiled and knew Who to thank right away for my son’s protection. No doubt. He would be starting a life of discoveries, meeting new friends and challenges…And I prayed…That he wouldn’t forget the Hands that hold him close. The Hands that never stopped serving when He was here. And my son, being His child, I prayed would always follow. A life of being a servant…A humble servant…in the days to come...

Lord, I pray…for us, as a family…to never stop loving You and remembering Your goodness all the days of our lives. Lord, help us surrender everything in our lives daily to You. Please use us as Your instruments for Your glory. Thank You Lord that You are always there for us, never leaving us especially at times of trials where our faiths are being tested. Please protect us. Comfort my husband’s and my heart as we let go of our dearest son into this world. But we both realize, we are letting him go into Your Hands that will wipe out our fears. As our son begins his life of service for You. May he bless many that You bring into his life and that You alone, are always glorified. Thank You Lord for everything. Thank You for Your love and mercy. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

Faith...Even If It's Small...



"You don't have enough faith," Jesus told them. "I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it would move. Nothing would be impossible." – Matthew 17:20 (NLT)

Her words I sort of expected. But at the same time, I was hurting knowing my friend who recently injured her left foot needed the equipment the doctor ordered to help her ambulate than crutches. 

“She denied it,” she gasped, sensing her astonishment and anger at the same time. Anger that slowly built up as she waited for the equipment to be issued. Day after day. For weeks. She was talking about the Work Comp insurance person who dealt with her case.

I’m not surprised,” I answered.

As I remembered clearly at the same time I was conversing with her, that I, had gone through the same trial when I hurt my neck in 1997 in the busy Orthopedic floor where we both worked before. I knew, like her, I didn’t want to deal with any hassles. I just wanted to be treated until I could get better and go back to the same work I had been doing for almost 10 years at that time. But my neck pain never improved. Every time I was there, the burden of caring for joint patients became too heavy for me. My neck pain always was aggravated every time I was barely starting my shift. Until I was able to make the transition to Correctional Nursing in year 2000. 

Looking back…I knew it was God Who coordinated my transfer. I vividly could hear what the treating doctor told me:

“Get out of Nursing…”

She started sobbing. I remained silent. I could feel the weight in her heart with all the things she had been going through. Hurting her foot was not even half of what she had to face daily. 

She faced mountain after mountain of trials. I might not have been in the same shoes she has…But I had been there. I truly understood from my heart. All the mountains of heartaches and frustrations I had to face. And learned to overcome. The buckets of tears I shed. The many faces I dealt with who seemed to not believe in my injury. No one understood at that time. For what I had gone through. Except one.
Jesus…

And I knew…despite the mountains I had to conquer, His promises always rang true. Of how He would always be there for me. Because He had gone before me. He suffered before me. He did…Because He loved me…As He loved all. 

And every time I conquered each mountain, every miraculous strength and triumph, it was because He made me learn…That by faith, I could. 

Even if that faith is as small as a “mustard seed.”

Faith that distrusts self-reliance…And faith that is laden with fervent prayers that should be presented to the foot of the cross…Where there, Christ’s arms had always been open…To accept a broken heart…

Jesus responded, "Didn't I tell you that you would see God's glory if you believe?" – John 11:40 (NLT)

"What do you mean, 'If I can'?" Jesus asked. "Anything is possible if a person believes."

– Mark 9:23 (NLT)

Keep Running The Race



Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. – Hebrews 12:1 (NLT)


Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air.

-1 Corinthians 9:26 (NLT)    
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Since being demoted to a Per Diem position after many years of working full time and through job-sharing, I haven’t felt this much sadness of how supposedly, a government agency was to fight for me but didn’t. Never investigated. Perhaps, never even touched the many evidences I had sent by mail. Through a tough time, I never had a hard time of trusting God because He had shown me many times of how truly He was there going along this trial with me. I was sure what appeared as a mountain to overcome was nothing for Him.

There was no option for me but to love Him even more and continue to thank Him, as He made me more aware of what things have true, lasting values. The eternal kind…The ones that moths wouldn't be able to destroy. Not even the rust...

He turned this trial into an advantage for my part. The staffing issues at my work...In the beginning, seemed like the people in higher positions were doing a great job. Proud at what they had accomplished, now seemed to have fallen apart. We have 4 facilities needing nurses. Many applied. Many passed the interviews. But not one had passed the “background checks” that I had heard of. And the current, few nurses working were getting "burned out".

My request to remain working “part time” was denied from the start.  A few people in higher positions knew they had nothing against me.  But as the need for extra nurses arose, they kept calling me. The position they gave me became a secure ground where they couldn’t force me anymore to do what they want. They couldn’t force me to work on shifts I didn’t like. They couldn’t force me to work more hours that I didn’t want to. I knew…it was God’s plan…

But working lesser, I had fewer days of interacting with inmates. I had lesser encounters to write about in my blog. But some of the events didn’t need to be told. They were just meant to be kept in my heart. The hours added to my hands at home enabled me to help my friend who was in need. Aside from my own family. 

The spiritual enemy of course, never stops trying to steal the joy in my heart. Many times, he accuses me of “not being an effective soldier of Christ” anymore. Many times, he reminds me “I am a failure”. But by the grace of God, it is His Word that rings louder and always speaks of truth. It is His Word that tells me that ONE DOES NOT NEED A PRESTIGIOUS POSITION OR TITLE TO DO A SIGNIFICANT ROLE . It is His Word that reminds me to run the race not to win FIRST PLACE, but to finish it despite the hurdles along the way. Because the one who finishes will not always be the strongest. Nor the fastest. Nor the wisest. The one who finishes is the one who learns to endure no matter how tough the bumps are on the road. The one who never veers to the left nor to the right but just keeps running straight. The one who fixes his or her eyes upon Jesus…Always…


May I ask for you to pray for a close friend of mine going through a tough time, for the Lord to heal her fractured foot and for her mom’s healing also? His provisions over them and protection. Thank you dearest friends and keep running the race…looking straight, fixed on Jesus…And that’s what gives us strength many times…The bumps on the road help us learn to endure. The bumps help us see which one has true values as our souls war against our fleshly needs in this race. To know we are all running together is already a big encouragement. To realize that we are not running alone…
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