Unnatural Aging Process

Flopping her weary body as I told her to lay down on the exam table, she sighed heavily, still complaining of unrelieved chest pain. Her tiny pupils tried to look through mine, struggling to make sense why she was in deep physical distress. As I started applying the EKG leads on specific parts of her chest and extremities, I noticed some red bumps on her arms and legs and as I expected, I uncovered more needle tracks scattered all around her body. Her disheveled blonde hair, wrinkled face and energy that seemed to be waning as every hour passed by told me she was a substance abuser, long before she related her history with me.

“I use 5 bags of heroin a day,” she cautiously answered to my queries. Then, decided she could not hide anything from me as her chest pain progressed and she got worried knowing she also had some cardiac problem.

“Yes…I also drink a lot everyday,” she volunteered.

“Keep the pill under your tongue,” I commanded as I opened a fresh tiny bottle of Nitroglycerin after taking her abnormal EKG. Strapping her arm with the blood pressure cuff, I started monitoring her blood pressure as the medication could cause a drop. She continued to breathe heavily, restless and having difficulty lying on the exam table still. She tried to avoid the nasal cannula I tried to apply at first to sustain her oxygen intake.

“Relax!”

“How long more, Ma’am? I’m still in pain,” she asked.

“We’re just waiting for the ambulance to arrive. Here…Take the second pill…”

After waiting for 5 minutes that felt like eternity, I asked if she got relieved of her chest pain from the 2nd pill of Nitro.

“A little bit better,” she softly spoke as if trying to gather her remaining energy as she went through withdrawal symptoms at the same time.

Drugs…Alcohol…Prevalent and widely abused nowadays to numb someone’s pain. For what could be fun for others who just wanted to experiment sometimes, ended up using quite a lot more to help them cope with the pain that comes from abusing it. Lives are destroyed. Faces…Aged unnaturally. A lot of times, they feel that there is no more hope for them. But that’s not true… The truth is:

“For the Lord is the Spirit, and wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.” – 2 Cor.3:17 (NLT)

When God sends His Spirit, transformation takes place. Darkness turns into light. Chaos and confusion turns to order. Death becomes life…





“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.”
- Proverbs 31:30 (NIV)

Beauty recommends none to God. It’s not a proof of wisdom and goodness. It is having a reverential fear of God which shows the true beauty of a soul. A person who reflects good virtuous qualities ages beautifully because that person delights in pleasing no one but God. A person who desires to always be trusted, respected, useful, and honored in his or her ways.

Against Medical Advice

"Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes." - James 4:14 (NIV)

I saw the Charge Nurse very upset while another nurse was seeing the male inmate who just came back from the hospital. I just walked into the Clinic and from the window, I could see them all, together with the Deputy near them. I thought the inmate was being disrespectful but no wonder...when I saw his face as he slightly turned around, it was the man the other nurse sent to ER in an ambulance because he was having severe chest pain. We readied our AED machine as he seemed to have faded in and out and as verified by the EKG monitor resting on top of the guerney when the paramedics came in.

"Wooo...." the lady paramedic exclaimed.

"His EKG keeps on changing..."

We knew we could lose him at any moment at that time. But surely, the nurse and I were both relieved to see the paramedics so he could be immediately transported to ER.

"What were you thinking?" the Charge Nurse asked.

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"I wanted to see my 5-year old son tomorrow when he comes to visit me Ma'am," he confidently replied, very much aware that he was risking his own life.

"If you make it overnight..." one nurse added.

When this inmate having chest pain got to ER, he immediately signed an AMA form  (against medical advice) despite the doctors needing to evaluate his failing heart. That was what upset everyone because they knew (even me) that he could die at any given time.

I was agreeing with the Charge Nurse that it was wrong for him to refuse the treatment when we heard the reason, but as I finished my shift when the clock hit midnight, tired and excited to be home to see my family sleeping by then, I thought about this inmate as I struggled to see through the windshield being fogged up by the low temperature and an earlier shower that doused the dry earth. And like the rain that washed all the dirt in my windshield, a tear I wiped gave me a clear view minutes later: I realized the Charge Nurse, the other nurses and I were all wrong about being upset with the inmate's decision. He was the wise one of risking his own life to not miss his 5 year old son's visit the following day because in his solitude behind the thick prison walls, he must have learned what mattered the most in his life. In everyone's life....

Love from family and friends...

Things that are not seen...Things that have incorruptible inheritance...

Things that go against that of this world's...

"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." - Matthew 6:21 (NIV)

The Inmate Worker

 He was dressed up in blue. An inmate worker. I always saw him cleaning around the different parts in the Infirmary. His job assignment. Occasionally, I would say “Hello” as staff was prevented from making any friendly type of conversation among the inmates. For security purposes. Which was right among the corrections’ policies.  A few who fell for their charming ways of conversing ended up liking the inmates and tried to help them escaped. But most of the time, the staff who did that ended up being caught. Unfortunately, they ended up becoming imprisoned like the persons they got attracted to.

It was a bad shift. Unscheduled sick calls kept bombarding us. One after another, we, nurses took turn seeing them all. Some went to the hospital for further treatment. It didn’t include the busy phone lines and the charts with the doctor’s orders were barely touched by any of us. I felt the gnawing pang of hunger when I looked at the clock showing a few minutes past 6 in the evening. I remembered, I had not even taken a break. Eyeing the plastic bag that stored my dinner I brought from home, I asked for permission from the Charge Nurse if I could take my break.

I usually never went to our dining hall where any staff could order anything to be made. It was just easier for me and much more relaxing to eat in the back part of the Clinic, away from any inmates’ prying eyes and that of the staff’s. I warmed up my food and realized there was no fork but just plastic knives and spoons. That would still work. If one was too hungry like me that night, you had to provide. 

I saw him again. Right behind me when I started digging into a couple slices of pizza. The aroma spilled into the area as I sat down and took the newly-warmed up pies from our microwave oven. He was cleaning the floor, mopping the other end, just a few steps from where I was. It was too quiet. For both of us. I was trying to enjoy my dinner yet cautious as he was there. It was too quiet that he could hear just the sounds of the knives cutting and aided with a spoon to put the pizza into my mouth. As I could hear just the swaying motions of the mop he was using. 

I couldn’t concentrate on my dinner. The presence of another shadow whom I couldn’t trust was just lurking behind me. Silence made it worse. To know that there was another human being made by God to interact was not supposed to be talked to.

With a slightly racing heartbeat, I cracked the deafening silence between us and softly, I uttered, “How are you doing, Sir?”

He looked up from intently looking on those floor tiles. I could tell he got a little excited that he was noticed. He paused from mopping and replied, “Oh, I’m fine, Ma’am…”

“I’m so hungry right now so don’t mind me if I keep on eating. It’s a bad night for us.”

“Oh, it’s okay. I know. I saw you’re eating pizza and I was thinking it looked so good.”

I could have taken his latest reply as spooky. It gave hints that he was watching me and knew even what I was eating. But I decided to ignore it and continue to not let ‘silence’ saturate that spot where we both were.

“You guys don’t get pizza?”

“Used to. Not anymore. More rice now, Ma’am.”

“That must be a bummer, huh (me trying to talk in a lingo he was used to)? But economy is hard right now. It must be about the budget thing.”

“Guess so…”

“Sorry I can’t offer you any. If ever you get out, that’s the first thing you do…”

“That’s okay, Ma’am…Do what?”

“Order pizza…”

His mouth showed a wide smile as he nodded his head up and down. The Infirmary Deputy suddenly emerged his head from one of the exam rooms nearby and interrupted our stolen conversation. He looked at me and made sure I was okay. I smiled back at him and with his talking eyes, he was grateful in a way that I was there in the back as the inmate cleaned the area. He knew some stuff like plastic knives and spoons could be stolen and be improvised as “shanks”. He sensed I was comfortable and left me to enjoy the smaller piece of pizza laid out in front of me.  Except…It had gotten cold. A small price I had to pay for hearing the unspoken woes from an inmate’s heart. Hungry for interaction. Prevented by policies of the prisons for a reason. Policies or laws that would make him and the other inmates avoid the same evil deeds that got them imprisoned in the first place. The deafening silence in that dark place could be an opportunity for him to re-evaluate those deeds…

Laws are given to our rebellious spirits to help us love God with all of our hearts and minds. But men turned them into rules that most of the time, they are misapplied and confusing. Jesus did not come to go against such laws but against the abuses it was subjected to. Moses emphasized God’s law and justice but Jesus came and highlighted God’s mercy, love, faithfulness, and forgiveness. Instead of the writings on those stone tablets, true disciples of Jesus show His writings on the stony tablets of their hearts, changed through the ways they live their lives.

"Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."

- Psalm 46:10 (NIV)

"Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them.” – Matthew 5:17 (NIV)

“For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.” – John 1:17 (NIV)

Looking Beyond One's Physical Appearance

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“None are more unjust in their judgments of others than those who have a high opinion of themselves.” – Charles Spurgeon   

Has it ever happened to you? That when you are dressed up plain, not wearing any make-up in a grocery store or anywhere else, people try not to pay attention and look maybe with disgust sometimes? I tried that once when I went grocery shopping. Wearing just old shirts with faded pants, I’m also the type not to wear make-up. Just apply slight powder that won’t be enough to cover my age spots and other facial discolorations. No one offered any help, even not say anything. Some of the workers bumped with me accidentally and not even say anything.

Then…I dressed up with a blouse that showed a better figure. Pressed the same powder on my face but this time, hid the age spots first with those miraculous liquids that matched my skin tone. Then put some reddish hue on my lips. Barely walking into the grocery’s door, I heard a lot of greetings.

"Hello..."

“Good morning…”

“How are you today?” coupled with a welcoming smiles absent on the previous time.

It just proved to me that we are quick to judge others. We are quick to put labels on a person based on their physical appearances.

Thousands of years ago, there was nothing beautiful or majestic with a man’s appearance. Nothing to attract others to him. He was despised and rejected- - a man of sorrows, acquainted with bitterest grief. And people turned their backs on him and looked the other way when he went by. He was despised, and people did not care.” (Isaiah 53:2-3,NLT).

His Name is Jesus!

People wanted to kill him and though he didn’t commit any crimes, what people never realized was that his coming was all a part of God’s plan because he would carry our weaknesses, our sorrows, the death from our sins! He was wounded and crushed for our sins. He was beaten that we might have peace. He was whipped and we were healed! (Isaiah 53:4-5,NLT).

What was true then is still true today! Many still reject and don’t believe what Jesus had done on the cross.

But his death on the cross was not the ending. He came back to life on the 3^rd day and that was a victory over the sting of death, over Satan and his forces! And eternal life is what He promised to those who will put their trust on Him…

“The Spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you. And just as he raised Christ from the dead, he will give life to your mortal body by this same Spirit living within you.” – Romans 8:11 (NLT)

 “¹⁰ Yet it was the LORD’s will to crush him and cause him to suffer, and though the LORD makes his life an offering for sin, he will see his offspring and prolong his days, and the will of the LORD will prosper in his hand. ¹¹ After he has suffered, he will see the light of life and be satisfied by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many, and he will bear their iniquities. ¹² Therefore I will give him a portion among the great, and he will divide the spoils with the strong, because he poured out his life unto death, and was numbered with the transgressors. For he bore the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors.” – Isaiah 53:10-12 (NIV)