The Dash

"A good character is the best tombstone. Those who loved you and were helped by you will remember you when forget-me-nots have withered. Carve your name on hearts, not on marble." - Charles Spurgeon

We visit to remember not what we lost but what remains...(And now these three remain:faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love...-1 Corinthians 13:13)

“Hey! You wanna’ come?” asked my friend on the other line. She knew I worked the night before but I had told her in advance that if they would go to the cemetery to pay a visit, if I felt okay, I would rather go with her and her mother if that was okay with them.

“Of course…If you don’t mind…I respect your privacy, too.”

“C’mon. Get ready and come down and go with us,” she replied.

The familiar graveyard site they both visited since losing her sister came to view. The brief laughter we shared in the car was replaced with silence as I veered my car to the left and entered the huge, white metal gates that welcomed those who mourned daily for their loved ones that they lost.

We washed and wiped the marker, as her mother placed some roses in the vase secured on the ground. I saw her grief but the eyes seemed to have run out of tears. But I knew deep inside, her heart was forever marred with a hole. The size of the daughter she lost 13 years ago.

“Must I forget remembering the day she died?” my friend vented out.

I didn’t know what to say as if she had caught me off-guard. I remembered looking at those dates on her sister’s marker.

1960 - 1998…

Careful not to break her already scarred heart, I replied, “Yes.”

“But don’t forget the memories she had spent with you. I know those loving mem’ries were your connection to her love that remains…”

As I was saying those words, what stood out in my mind was that “tiny dash” from those dates. I never met her. But I knew so much about her life. I knew she was a great teacher who passionately taught her students with the best she could, always encouraging them to reach their full potential. I knew she was a loving wife and mother to her two young kids at that time, not minding all the tasks on her hand daily even if it meant little relaxation. I knew she was a loving daughter to her mother who always coaxed her to enjoy her retirement life by encouraging her to go on trips with her family. I knew she was a loving sister to my friend because she served both as a sister and a father figure on those times that they had to fend for themselves without a father. She was that strength that held her family amidst life’s trials, shown through her faith in God and love that was poured into her heart, which in return, she readily applied in everything she did. People who knew her would understand what I just wrote though I didn’t know her. People who had grown to love everything about her because she loved genuinely.

Yes, I never met her in person but it felt like I had known so much about her because of the way she lived her life. That dash…That mattered. She had left so much loving, warm mem’ries to all the people she came across with. It was because she always put her heart in everything she did. Her passion to help others…The way she looked after her loved ones… She truly left a never-ending impression because her deeds were always done with love.

If only I could see these people's hearts who knew her...I know it would be easy to spot her place in those hearts. She must have left fine prints that were etched and would not be forgotten. Only some would do that. Like her.

Dash...A short symbol…A reminder how short life is. But this is the one that would stand out because what we do here matters. It may not mean anything to some. But to God, He is recording that dash…

 "And I heard a voice from heaven saying, “Write this: Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord from now on.” “Blessed indeed,” says the Spirit, “that they may rest from their labors, for their deeds follow them!”- Revelation 14:13 (ESV)

"Do you want to be shown, you foolish person, that faith apart from works is useless" - James 2:20 (ESV)

My Name Is...

“That nurse over there should have sent me to the hospital! I need a second opinion. I’m still short of breath!” complained a young female, rapidly whining and demanded for her unit to immediately send her back to the Clinic because she should be sent to the hospital.

I was in the middle of another “sick call” with a male inmate and the other two nurses working with me last night were also seeing some other inmates. I quickly observed her breathing and with the way she rapidly was complaining without pausing already gave me a cue that she was not in a respiratory distress. Her trip from the unit where she was housed was far from the Clinic and if she made it without difficulty to whine at the Infirmary, I knew she could wait. I motioned for the other nurse seeing another inmate about her complaint as she was the other nurse this female inmate was complaining about.

As soon as I got done taking care of the male inmate, I motioned for her to go in on the Female side. As she was taking a seat, I briefly approached the on-coming deputy as they were having change of shift. I requested for his presence because I already knew that this inmate had a volatile behavior. It would be a risk for me to see her without the deputy knowing how her behavior could change into violence without moment’s notice. I wasn’t planning on being hit by an unpredictable closed fist.

“I’m not gonna’ hurt you,” she stated as soon as she saw the shadow of the deputy approaching from where we were.

“I never said anything,” I replied.

“You’re the one who said that. Anyway, it’s not only you, but it is our policy here to see and treat inmates with the presence of the deputy.” I explained.

Her high volume softened a little but the whining and the demands continued even as the deputy was nearby.

“Please give me the phone! I need to call 9-1-1!!!” she uttered in a higher volume again.

“We are the 9-1-1 here!” I replied.

“You need to send me to the hospital! The other nurse didn’t do anything!” she said in a much louder tone, I believed she intentionally did to make the other nurse who previously treated her hear her complaint.

I felt my energy waning at that moment as we had been busy seeing many unscheduled sick calls. Gathering the remaining strength I had, I caught her glance with my own and stayed that way. Eye to eye, her stare was piercing mine. But I didn’t want to look down. I stared at her without giving her the opportunity to wander and look away.

“Listen! From the moment you got here, you had been non-stop with your complaints! You don’t need to request to be sent to the hospital because nurses could see any obvious symptoms that would make us decide whether we need to do that or not! I would not tell you the symptoms…but, you don’t have them at this moment!”

Her boiling anger appeared it was about to burst, only to let the steam out as she saw the deputy took few steps forward and nearer to both of us.

I continued…

“We are not refusing to see you. Any time you don’t feel good, you can request for us to evaluate you. But you have to allow us to make the decisions, not you making the decision for us! Go ahead, you can go back to your unit now!” I commanded.

“What’s your name?” she demanded. (Usually, I would tell the inmates my last name. But this time, I knew it was senseless to give in to this request knowing she was unstable).

“I’m the nurse!” I replied.

“I’m gonna’ find out about your name,” she threatened. “I’m going to report you.”

“Go ahead!” I yelled back.

“So, they would know the things I told you! You can’t lie! The deputy was here the whole time,” I warned back.

Protection…I’m so grateful for God’s protection in my life. I knew I wasn’t battling with her. I was battling against unseen enemies. But they would never scare me knowing the Highest Power surrounds me.

“Though a mighty army surrounds me, my heart will not be afraid. Even if I am attacked, I will remain confident.” – Psalm 27:3 (NLT)

My name?

“But by the grace of God, I am what I am…” (1 Corinthians 15:10; NIV) (emphasis is mine...)

Freedom Isn't Free

This nation will remain the land of the free only so long as it is the home of the brave.  ~Elmer Davis

I checked on those hands trying to level the family pictures he decided to put up along the wall by our stairs. My husband was off on a cold day today, Thursday and this was his way of not wasting time. My attention was briefly interrupted by occasional dances of the palm trees in our front yard, as gusty, chilly November winds swirled by.

I looked again at those hands adeptly arranging the pictures. Those hands that used to hold a binocular as he and two other comrades kept a watch during “Operation Desert Shield”. We never really talked about their struggles as years went by. I just found out a few minutes ago about some things as I started asking him.

“So, what did you do then? What kind of weapons were you guys holding?”

“There were three of us looking out for mines in the middle of the night. It was so cold and we were on the Missouri’s forecastle.”  

“You have no shelter as you hunt for those mines?” I clarified.

“No! We were just surrounded by sand bags. Sometimes, we just had water and candy bars.”

“Did you guys find some mines?”

USS Missouri

“We probably discovered around 15…”

Those were the days when binoculars with night vision were not in use yet. These soldiers relied on their own vision, strength, perseverance and stamina as they took turns watching for those mines to keep their carrier and other naval ships out of harm’s way. Not minding the cold blast of the wind in the Persian Gulf area, they were dancing between life and death.

“Thank God!” I softly whispered as I felt both relief and sadness as my husband continued his task by the stairs, seeing about 5 pictures already up.

Relieved that I was actually seeing those pair of hands, enjoying time as he had been home with my child and I. But at the same time, my heart was becoming heavy for those who did not have a chance to see the hands of their loved ones and for those who were actively serving still.

Freedom…. It isn’t free…Lives who choose to selflessly give their all, leaving their families behind, their dreams, and willing to die to fight for what they believe in. Freedom…Like what Jesus chose to do. He gave His all so we can be set free…

Thank you dear husband of mine! Thank you veterans! Thank you soldiers!

Thank You Jesus!

"So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." - John 8:36 (NIV)

"Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." - John 8:32 (NIV)

"For the Lord is the Spirit, and wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom."
- 2 Corinthians 3:17 (NLT)

Aging

"But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day." - 2 Peter 3:8 (NIV)

the mountainous retreat

We reversed time only a couple of hours ago. The extra hour I should have been taking advantage of was in vain. I was up few minutes ago and couldn’t make my lids shut closed.

Today is special. It is my birthday. I celebrate it with my friend who was born on the same day like mine. We went to a place famous for apples and anything with apples once that it became sort of a tradition for both of us. On Friday, it rained a lot. And the forecast was that the showers would come down again today, possibly with snow. Yesterday was a beautiful day God had granted us. My husband told me to go just to enjoy a day ahead.

So, last minute, my friend wanted to go also as that mountain retreat always gave us some fun we both enjoyed. We arrived in no time as it was closer from their location. Being on a weekend, there was a big crowd and parking was a challenge right away. That was….if I could move my car amidst the throng of people crossing the street corners.

“Wow! Another year for us,” she said.

I wasn’t sure if I would be excited with the topic of aging. But the gnawing pang of hunger as I skipped my usual lunch hour was bothering me more. But some signs of aging would be unavoidable as they surfaced yesterday.

“What do you feel like eating?” my friend asked.

“I don’t know…I can’t think…”

“What do you mean? Do you think your sugar is running low ‘coz you haven’t eaten?”

“No! I just want to eat anything right now and I can’t think maybe because I’m another year older.”

So, we fell in a line in a nearby deli shop. I had a Philly Cheese Steak sandwich with a mountain of fries along with it. I felt better after devouring half (I used to eat the whole thing) and got a small box to take home the rest.

the ever growing line of apple pie fanatics

We looked at the bakery across from the deli shop famous for its pies. A very long line of people was already waiting to get their favorite pies.

“Are you sure you wanna’ wait that long?” my turn to ask.

“Yeah! That’s why we came here. And your boys I know would love some apple pie!”

“Yeah…I wanna’ get them some for sure…But the line?” I replied confused.

So, being perhaps the hundredth something in line, we decided to persevere and tough out the cold winds produced by the dropping temperatures as we both saw the hovering clouds heavy with some rain reserved on its bellies.

My friend looked at me and was concerned, “Are you cold? How come you didn’t bring your thicker jacket?”

“I’m not cold! I’m fine!” (Either I was in denial or I was already becoming numb from hypothermia).

rain clouds

“Why do you keep asking?” I politely asked.

“Well…” she hesitated… “Your lips look blue!”

Or listen to this….How people walking by were all wondering if the line was for the pies. When someone answered them “Yes”, they couldn’t believe it that people would really wait that long just to be able to get some of those pies.

“I know,” I whispered to my friend.

they know how to make you suffer as you stand in line

“I couldn’t believe I would be another year older and I’m still waiting in line here to get my pie.”

And during that time as we slowly advanced toward the counter, I suddenly pondered and consulted my friend, “Did I lock my car?”

Aahhhh….The aging process. The truth is we can never move the time forward nor make it reverse. This lifetime is truly short. As far as for birthdays, that, too is fleeting. We are all going to grow old whether we like it or not as each day passes by. We may never be able to control time but we always have that ability to do two things:

       (A) We have that choice to do the right thing no matter what season it is in our lifetime

       (B)  That if we don’t like the way we were born, we can choose to be “born again”

"If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." - Romans 10:9 (NLT)

"For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved." - Romans 10:10 (NLT)

"You want me to take a picture of those beautiful hills?" my friend asked as I held the steering wheel tighter to follow the few curves going down from the slope.

"Nah....Thanks..."

"Some things you can't capture with a camera..."

"You just store them in your hearts..."

 "¹⁸ You have not come to a mountain that can be touched and that is burning with fire; to darkness, gloom and storm; ¹⁹ to a trumpet blast or to such a voice speaking words that those who heard it begged that no further word be spoken to them, ²⁰ because they could not bear what was commanded: “If even an animal touches the mountain, it must be stoned to death.” ²¹ The sight was so terrifying that Moses said, “I am trembling with fear.”  ²² But you have come to Mount Zion, to the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem. You have come to thousands upon thousands of angels in joyful assembly, ²³ to the church of the firstborn, whose names are written in heaven. You have come to God, the Judge of all, to the spirits of the righteous made perfect, ²⁴ to Jesus the mediator of a new covenant, and to the sprinkled blood that speaks a better word than the blood of Abel.
 ²⁵ See to it that you do not refuse him who speaks. If they did not escape when they refused him who warned them on earth, how much less will we, if we turn away from him who warns us from heaven? ²⁶ At that time his voice shook the earth, but now he has promised, “Once more I will shake not only the earth but also the heavens.” ²⁷ The words “once more” indicate the removing of what can be shaken—that is, created things—so that what cannot be shaken may remain.
 ²⁸ Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, ²⁹ for our “God is a consuming fire.^" 
- Hebrews 12:18-29 (NIV)