Freedom Isn't Free

This nation will remain the land of the free only so long as it is the home of the brave.  ~Elmer Davis

I checked on those hands trying to level the family pictures he decided to put up along the wall by our stairs. My husband was off on a cold day today, Thursday and this was his way of not wasting time. My attention was briefly interrupted by occasional dances of the palm trees in our front yard, as gusty, chilly November winds swirled by.

I looked again at those hands adeptly arranging the pictures. Those hands that used to hold a binocular as he and two other comrades kept a watch during “Operation Desert Shield”. We never really talked about their struggles as years went by. I just found out a few minutes ago about some things as I started asking him.

“So, what did you do then? What kind of weapons were you guys holding?”

“There were three of us looking out for mines in the middle of the night. It was so cold and we were on the Missouri’s forecastle.”  

“You have no shelter as you hunt for those mines?” I clarified.

“No! We were just surrounded by sand bags. Sometimes, we just had water and candy bars.”

“Did you guys find some mines?”

USS Missouri

“We probably discovered around 15…”

Those were the days when binoculars with night vision were not in use yet. These soldiers relied on their own vision, strength, perseverance and stamina as they took turns watching for those mines to keep their carrier and other naval ships out of harm’s way. Not minding the cold blast of the wind in the Persian Gulf area, they were dancing between life and death.

“Thank God!” I softly whispered as I felt both relief and sadness as my husband continued his task by the stairs, seeing about 5 pictures already up.

Relieved that I was actually seeing those pair of hands, enjoying time as he had been home with my child and I. But at the same time, my heart was becoming heavy for those who did not have a chance to see the hands of their loved ones and for those who were actively serving still.

Freedom…. It isn’t free…Lives who choose to selflessly give their all, leaving their families behind, their dreams, and willing to die to fight for what they believe in. Freedom…Like what Jesus chose to do. He gave His all so we can be set free…

Thank you dear husband of mine! Thank you veterans! Thank you soldiers!

Thank You Jesus!

"So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." - John 8:36 (NIV)

"Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." - John 8:32 (NIV)

"For the Lord is the Spirit, and wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom."
- 2 Corinthians 3:17 (NLT)

Aging

"But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day." - 2 Peter 3:8 (NIV)

the mountainous retreat

We reversed time only a couple of hours ago. The extra hour I should have been taking advantage of was in vain. I was up few minutes ago and couldn’t make my lids shut closed.

Today is special. It is my birthday. I celebrate it with my friend who was born on the same day like mine. We went to a place famous for apples and anything with apples once that it became sort of a tradition for both of us. On Friday, it rained a lot. And the forecast was that the showers would come down again today, possibly with snow. Yesterday was a beautiful day God had granted us. My husband told me to go just to enjoy a day ahead.

So, last minute, my friend wanted to go also as that mountain retreat always gave us some fun we both enjoyed. We arrived in no time as it was closer from their location. Being on a weekend, there was a big crowd and parking was a challenge right away. That was….if I could move my car amidst the throng of people crossing the street corners.

“Wow! Another year for us,” she said.

I wasn’t sure if I would be excited with the topic of aging. But the gnawing pang of hunger as I skipped my usual lunch hour was bothering me more. But some signs of aging would be unavoidable as they surfaced yesterday.

“What do you feel like eating?” my friend asked.

“I don’t know…I can’t think…”

“What do you mean? Do you think your sugar is running low ‘coz you haven’t eaten?”

“No! I just want to eat anything right now and I can’t think maybe because I’m another year older.”

So, we fell in a line in a nearby deli shop. I had a Philly Cheese Steak sandwich with a mountain of fries along with it. I felt better after devouring half (I used to eat the whole thing) and got a small box to take home the rest.

the ever growing line of apple pie fanatics

We looked at the bakery across from the deli shop famous for its pies. A very long line of people was already waiting to get their favorite pies.

“Are you sure you wanna’ wait that long?” my turn to ask.

“Yeah! That’s why we came here. And your boys I know would love some apple pie!”

“Yeah…I wanna’ get them some for sure…But the line?” I replied confused.

So, being perhaps the hundredth something in line, we decided to persevere and tough out the cold winds produced by the dropping temperatures as we both saw the hovering clouds heavy with some rain reserved on its bellies.

My friend looked at me and was concerned, “Are you cold? How come you didn’t bring your thicker jacket?”

“I’m not cold! I’m fine!” (Either I was in denial or I was already becoming numb from hypothermia).

rain clouds

“Why do you keep asking?” I politely asked.

“Well…” she hesitated… “Your lips look blue!”

Or listen to this….How people walking by were all wondering if the line was for the pies. When someone answered them “Yes”, they couldn’t believe it that people would really wait that long just to be able to get some of those pies.

“I know,” I whispered to my friend.

they know how to make you suffer as you stand in line

“I couldn’t believe I would be another year older and I’m still waiting in line here to get my pie.”

And during that time as we slowly advanced toward the counter, I suddenly pondered and consulted my friend, “Did I lock my car?”

Aahhhh….The aging process. The truth is we can never move the time forward nor make it reverse. This lifetime is truly short. As far as for birthdays, that, too is fleeting. We are all going to grow old whether we like it or not as each day passes by. We may never be able to control time but we always have that ability to do two things:

       (A) We have that choice to do the right thing no matter what season it is in our lifetime

       (B)  That if we don’t like the way we were born, we can choose to be “born again”

"If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." - Romans 10:9 (NLT)

"For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved." - Romans 10:10 (NLT)

"You want me to take a picture of those beautiful hills?" my friend asked as I held the steering wheel tighter to follow the few curves going down from the slope.

"Nah....Thanks..."

"Some things you can't capture with a camera..."

"You just store them in your hearts..."

 "¹⁸ You have not come to a mountain that can be touched and that is burning with fire; to darkness, gloom and storm; ¹⁹ to a trumpet blast or to such a voice speaking words that those who heard it begged that no further word be spoken to them, ²⁰ because they could not bear what was commanded: “If even an animal touches the mountain, it must be stoned to death.” ²¹ The sight was so terrifying that Moses said, “I am trembling with fear.”  ²² But you have come to Mount Zion, to the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem. You have come to thousands upon thousands of angels in joyful assembly, ²³ to the church of the firstborn, whose names are written in heaven. You have come to God, the Judge of all, to the spirits of the righteous made perfect, ²⁴ to Jesus the mediator of a new covenant, and to the sprinkled blood that speaks a better word than the blood of Abel.
 ²⁵ See to it that you do not refuse him who speaks. If they did not escape when they refused him who warned them on earth, how much less will we, if we turn away from him who warns us from heaven? ²⁶ At that time his voice shook the earth, but now he has promised, “Once more I will shake not only the earth but also the heavens.” ²⁷ The words “once more” indicate the removing of what can be shaken—that is, created things—so that what cannot be shaken may remain.
 ²⁸ Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, ²⁹ for our “God is a consuming fire.^" 
- Hebrews 12:18-29 (NIV)

Rain

“It is no hard matter to adhere to God while you are in the enjoyment of His comforts and consolations; but if you would prove your fidelity to Him, you must be willing to follow Him through the paths of dryness and desertion. The truth of a friend is not known while he is receiving favours and benefits from us; but if he remains faithful to us when we treat him with coldness and neglect, it will be a proof of the sincerity of his attachment.” 

... Backhouse and Janson, A Guide to True Peace

It was chilly this morning as I tiptoed in the lurking darkness of the impending dawn that was still soaked with yesterday’s much needed rain showers. My husband was still asleep and same thing with my son when I peeked in his room. Quietly, I prepared myself to take advantage to have my private conversation in His presence. Like the severe drought, my spirit was always thirsty, satisfied by nothing but the Living Water.

It had been two weeks again that I was not able to work as our prison was well staffed when the Nurse Manager decided to pull some of the nurses from the other facilities. I discerned he did it to make some nurses suffered. Those were the nurses who went against him confirming to have his own spouse to take the position right below his.

Some people or maybe just one nurse went to our Ethics Committee and reported it. The memo that he posted where everyone could see it was taken down few days later.

The wife was not placed in the position right under his.

I never desired for anything bad to happen to them despite what these couple had done with my position also. Terminating my regular position and ignoring my valid request about specific working conditions, they thought it was easier to have Human Resources dealt with my case. They intimidated me and put me on a forced leave until they resorted to demoting my position to becoming a Per Diem Nurse. Meaning....”only as needed…” The plans they kept coming with never caused me to fear if that was what they hoped for. They never knew, in my weakness, that was when I would become stronger. Not by my own strength but because of God’s provision.

I heard my husband woke up a bit and asked me if I was okay. He wrapped his warm arms around me and it felt good to ward off the chilly air enveloped around me. We laughed so hard. Then, we both realized, if not for God, we wouldn’t have moments like these. Peaceful amidst life’s tribulations. Quiet spirits merged despite the chaos and life’s unexpected changes. Contented despite not knowing what life has in store for us because we both knew Who held the future for us. We were once drought-stricken spirits satisfied with His healing rain.

“May he be like rain that falls on the mown grass, like showers that water the earth!” – Psalm 72:6 (ESV)

everything looks so fresh a day after some rain as i woke up this morning...

I love the rain. It washes away the dirt, lowers the pollen count and the air just smells so fresh! Thank You Lord for the rain. But most of all, thank You for the Healing Rain!

Step Forward

“For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” –Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT)


These people in higher positions I had been battling with had some plans in progress again. Though I had discerned long time ago what they truly wanted for me which was to quit or resign my position ever since I had requested to remain working part-time, they never seemed to stop trying to intimidate me.

I visited the county Human Resources webpage and there it was again. They had opened another position for a Per Diem Nurse, when the other Per Diems and myself were not able to work lately because of the Nursing Manager’s action of pooling the other nurses back into our main prison that made it adequately staffed.

I could feel “anger” starting to surface in my heart. It was that kind that always sought for justice and for these evil plans to cease. It was that type that wanted a fair treatment and wanting an honest response from them. I never got those. But no matter how they tried to deceive me, the Lord had already shown into my heart that it would be okay, no matter how much these people would plan, He got it covered! Except….I needed to be patient and I needed to remain trusting on His plans instead!

The poisonous “anger” that made my heart in racing pulses began to slow down as I glanced at the unopened mail that came yesterday.

I saw this white envelope that came from a Christ-centered university offering some degree programs for nurses and other Sciences. What was printed on the back of top flap caught my eyes:

“To the angel of the church in Philadelphia write: These are the words of him who is holy and true, who holds the key of David. What he opens no one can shut, and what he shuts no one can open.” (Revelation 3:7) ~ (emphasis was mine)

His truth immediately coated and overwhelmed the ugly kind of anger stirring up in my heart. This growing anger could have become selfish on my part and seemed to distort His goal in my life. It would have boiled over if not for His restraint. He did tell me that I would not be able to avoid being angry sometimes, except I must learn to deal with it properly.

I love being a Nurse. A Correctional Nurse where He placed me 11 years ago. Because of God’s continued reassurance through His faithful promises, I know that there is nothing that happens in my life that He has no control of. Those people might think they have been harming me to force me to quit. They will never know (maybe they will God-willing) that God always directs someone’s steps (Proverbs 16:9).

It is not them. It is all up to me to choose what God’s call is in my life. If He put me in Correctional before after getting hurt at the hospital I worked for 10 years as an Orthopedic Nurse, I know that He can bring me somewhere else if I choose to follow His leading. If He wants me to stay working in the prison, so be it. Their plans might make me step back three times but God always appear and makes me be able to step forward miles and miles farther ahead. For when we are weak, because of God, we truly are strong!

No matter how hard my enemies try to pursue and scare me, their tactics will not work because of God's faithful promise as I continue to take a step toward the other end of this "Red Sea" I'm walking on.

“Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.” - Exodus 14:13,14 (NIV)


I choose to take that step forward Lord, no matter how hard it takes...because of You!