Perfecting The Dance

“How long, O Lord, must I call for help? But you do not listen! “Violence!” I cry, but you do not come to save me. Must I forever see this sin and misery all around me? Wherever I look, I see destruction and violence.” – Habakkuk 1:2-3 (NLT)


I knew I wasn’t alone watching a very-well but very surreal choreographed dance. I was clapping in my mind with every attempted move, but even to think that was not permitted by my spirit. I saw more twists done. Of lies… A spectacle done from the past before those eyes who had seen them all and who didn’t desire to do a counter move of stepping forward. Sadly, most of them fell until they desired not to get up and wanted a quick exit.

I wondered how many wrong steps the Spectator must see as my own limited vision saw so many. I knew He wasn’t happy. He was known to forbid them all.

“You must never twist justice or show partiality. Never accept a bribe, for bribes blind the eyes of the wise and corrupt the decisions of the godly. Let true justice prevail, so you may live and occupy the land that the Lord your God is giving you.” – Deuteronomy 16:19 (NLT)

Except many continue to risk taking those wrong moves with the confidence that no one would notice. Just like yesterday’s dance.

Though I didn’t enjoy it, my spirit was calm. I was never angry. And I was glad I fed my appetite to the full prior to the performance! Two of my co-workers in higher positions sought to see any fearful reactions from me, until a perplexed look was painted on their faces. I was dancing with them, except I perfected my moves ahead of this dance. I must! Knowing how much the Spectator hoped for that and He was the only One I wanted to please, out of all this choreography that tried to smolder the true moves that should have been shown and done. One…Two…Three…I lost my count of those hidden moves with ulterior motives…I sighed…with unbelief yet I knew it was about to happen even before opening that door and taking my seat. They tried many times to speak of words they thought was wise. I didn’t say many. I didn’t utter in long sentences. But when I did, they couldn’t answer. They avoided my straight stares. They wondered what step I would take. They didn’t have a clue. I was groomed with perseverance knowing that the Spectator hoped for that from every dancer who wanted to be in His team. They expected to see some of my moves. I didn’t give any satisfaction. It was not the right time. Only the Spectator knew. But He was the One Who gave me many hints to avoid pitfalls. And He was very clear that there would be many spins, dips and turns to be done in this dance of life.

And what would make it elegant and perfect was to do the moves right!

“Don’t let evil get the best of you, but conquer evil by doing good.” – Romans 12:21 (NLT)

I smiled at their performance. I thanked every one of them. They were not smiling, still bewildered with my joyful actions despite the wrongful steps they planned. I closed the door leaving all of them behind. But I knew, I would return and perform my own dance moves, perfected with His grace, corrected by His rebuke alone, strengthened by His power and might.  Not in my time. Not in their time. Only in His perfect time! What a dance it would be!

“Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. 13 But rejoice in as much as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. 14 If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you. 15 If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler. 16 However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name. 17 For it is time for judgment to begin with God’s household; and if it begins with us, what will the outcome be for those who do not obey the gospel of God? 18 And,
   “If it is hard for the righteous to be saved,
   what will become of the ungodly and the sinner?”
 19 So then, those who suffer according to God’s will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good.” – 1 Peter 4:12-19 (NIV) 


 

The Feast

I got up early to prepare myself for a scheduled banquet given by two people I met before. From our past meeting, both of them, along with another supervisor had tried to accuse me of unfounded lies. None of their plans worked. So, through my supervisor, I was invited again to meet up with them in a few hours.

I am anticipating a feast. But instead of bringing and letting my appetite grow, I actually fed myself an hour ago. And I couldn’t stop!

I tasted the sweetest food that always left me more than satisfied…”His Word!” And It came with a warning: “That when I sit down to dine with a ruler, I must consider carefully what will be before me….That I shouldn’t desire for his delicacies for it is deceptive food…” (Proverbs 23:1,3)

I sipped a little coffee from my favorite small, red cup but even with that, I had lost my appetite. The Lord’s Word was just too satisfying that I didn’t desire for any fluids or other solid foods anymore.

I am ready…I have something to bring and offer them in return…But it is not from me. I will bring a bowl with fruits. Fruits that will never ruin their banquet…

Love…Joy…Peace…Patience…Kindness…Goodness…Faithfulness…Gentleness…Self-control…
Here there is no conflict with the law…(Galatians 5:22 – NLT)


Father, even with me being able to call You that, I am deeply humbled by what You have granted to me through Jesus, Your Son. I am leaving later to face those who like to see people crushed because I am under them. But I am not under them. I am under Your power, love, grace and mercy. I thank You Lord for removing the fear and calming me in the way that nothing in this world could have ever done. I have no fear and You know my heart. I don’t know what they will offer but I don’t desire any of their plans. I desire for Yours. May Your will be done Lord. Help me to draw nearer to You. Through this difficult trial, remove the things that hinder me from walking closer with You. That I may always be a broken vessel, more pure each time, ready for service at Your feet. Thank You Jesus. Thank You for Your love. Thank You that You satisfy all the kinds of hunger I have…Thank You that I am more than completely satisfied and no matter what the outcome is, after I meet up with them, I know it is okay…Because….Just because…You are…In Jesus’ Name. Amen…






Just Because You Are (Phillip Sandifer)


Father of the world
You are the life within me
God of all creation
Living in my heart
I will praise You Lord
Regardless of your blessing
For You are worthy of my praise Lord
Just because You are

Just because You are
Forever I will praise You
Just because You are
I will glorify Your Name
Just because You are
I lay my life before You
Father I adore You
Just because You are

Folded in Your arms
I've never been without You
Through every tear I've ever cried
I've always found You there
But craddled in your love
It's easy Lord to praise You
But even when the times get hard
And it seems that I'm alone
Still I'll always praise You Father
Just because You are

I Have More Than Enough

I closed my eyes as I reflected on each word of the hymn we were all singing in our fellowship this morning…

“Your Name….is a strong and mighty tower…
Your Name… is a strong and mighty tower…
Your Name is a shelter like no other
Your Name, let the nations sing it louder
'Cause nothing has the power to save
But Your Name….
(Jesus…..Your Name….)            (From Paul Baloche’s ‘Your Name’)


And with a soft breath coupled with my silent prayer……”I give all my worries to You, Oh Lord…” was let out…I took my glasses off and kept cleaning the fogged up lens, slightly damp from my vision that got misty.

"Are you okay?" my husband whispered from my left side.

"I have never felt more okay than now..."I uttered quietly.

I am going to another battle tomorrow morning to face some people in higher power from work. But I am not afraid no matter what the outcome will be. The truth etched in my heart:

“38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.” –Romans 8:38-39 (NLT)


There is nothing that these people can do to make me be afraid and to stop the work God had started in my life since He found me. They may take away my work. But I know it will be okay.


I may be in the lowliest position in their eyes…..
…….but I know I have an inheritance that this world can never be able to give.


I may seem to lack wisdom when I don’t open my mouth to their allegations and lies….
……but I would rather look like a fool to them while I hunger for more things of God.


I may appear like a coward when I seem to not speak up much…
……but I would rather have reservations with the things I say and be slow to anger.


I may look so weak……
….but I know the Power working in me…..that makes me so strong; stronger than them...
 
I may look afraid of their power to their eyes...
...but I am only afraid of One Power, One amazing Power Who sees everything and Who desires all living in darkness to approach His Light...The One Who wants those who believe in Him to reflect His light in this dark world.

So...while they think that I might be backing down, the reality is... I am approaching them closer and closer...Speaking truth against all their lies. Blowing an invisible horn in this invisible battle between us. Because I carry with me the Power that will destroy all those walls they built. I pray for His Light to penetrate the areas of darkness that surround the people at my workplace...I pray for His love to find hearts that will open up and invite Him in....

I don’t need anything that this world offers…
…I have enough…I have more than enough…


“I have Jesus…” and because of Him, that makes me a winner in everything!


Photo Credit
 "1 The Lord is my shepherd;     
      I have all that I need.
 2 He lets me rest in green meadows;
      he leads me beside peaceful streams.
    3 He renews my strength.
   He guides me along right paths,
      bringing honor to his name.
 4 Even when I walk
      through the darkest valley,
   I will not be afraid,
      for you are close beside me.
   Your rod and your staff
      protect and comfort me.
 5 You prepare a feast for me
      in the presence of my enemies.
   You honor me by anointing my head with oil.
      My cup overflows with blessings.
 6 Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me
      all the days of my life,
   and I will live in the house of the Lord
      forever.” -Psalm 23:1-6 (NLT)

Up Ahead

There goes the anticipated call that never was given for so long. It was not because I ignored it, I didn’t pick it up so the message could be recorded in our home’s answering machine. A new way I had planned since some people in positions from work started giving me a hard time when the highest one changed the night nurses’ schedule. A lot more got involved when they should not have been. Lies were told about me. Things were done to intimidate me. Wrong motives that were so clear as shown by their actions that didn’t match their words. They secretly desire for me to quit my job.

From the very start, I knew I had nothing to be afraid of. I knew that I had done nothing wrong. I never had problems from the past supervisors when I made my request not to work full time because of my history of disability. Was I? For so many years, I never had a problem performing my tasks since day 1, working in the prison where God had brought me when I got hurt from the hospital where I used to work.

I ran my errands. But that message changed my mood. I became upset again. Upset with the fact that I wanted to say so much yet, it wouldn’t be the perfect time. I tried to forget the demand but it kept creeping in the back of my mind.

Work had called me to meet up with 2 people I had spoken with before. Two people who aggravated me from the last time as they spoke words sounding with a punitive tone. It was a meeting with a façade that they were trying to work it out with me for my best interest. It was not true.

I opened my emails to see that not only this person had called me, she also decided to email me the same message from the answering machine. It was unbelievable that she did that as she ignored my emails most of the time when I was trying to communicate and prevent any miscommunications between us. I knew she never valued my request. When I started saying a little bit about their wrongful actions, she softened up a little bit, sounding like she was not a part of this evil tryst anymore. But I wouldn’t believe anything she would tell me. They all broke my trust.

My husband hugged me this morning and asked me if I would be going to work this afternoon. I caught his stare with mine and I just sighed. He got my muted answer. He knew I didn’t want to, but I had to. Work was never hard. It was the people who do evil things that make it hard and not a fun place to be.

I closed the door behind him as he left to start his day. After we both had prayed together. I let out another deep sigh. I had been seeing blurriness around me since my battle at work began. But remembering those days the Lord had blessed me and my family with His comfort when we took a needed vacation, I let go of these worries. Into His wounded hands. He showed me a picture we took as we were traveling early on a road. When the mysterious-looking fog blanketed some areas and up ahead, it was very clear. Then I got my answer from Him. I needed to press on. I needed to keep moving despite the vagueness in these people’s actions. I must trust in Him. I must trust in His plans for me. So I wouldn’t be side-tracked. Because up ahead, when this situation is over, it would be very clear. In His light…

Foggy morning but up ahead was so clear...

“But their evil intentions will be exposed when the light shines on them.” – Ephesians 5:13 (NLT)

Lord, I have given You my battle at work from the start. Because of You, I was never afraid. I pray Lord for You to continue to guide me, give me discernment and protect me as I meet these people come Monday in the morning. Lord, I pray that You will teach me with what to say and when to say the wisdom that comes from You. I pray for them Lord. May they have clarity of mind and the heart to do what is right. In You and in You alone I trust Oh Lord. Thank You for everything You have done for me and continue to bless me, even through sorrows and pain. I know that with every tear shed, every fall I sustain, every wound I obtain, those are nothing compared to what You had gone through in order for us to live and have a hope and a future. You keep reminding me about Your wounded hands. You place these words "wounded in order for you to be healed" in my heart. Thank You Lord for Your healing. Your grace. Your mercy. Your love. I pray for those who are going through heavy persecutions. Those who are afflicted with sorrows or illnesses. Those who feel like they have no hope. Those that doubt Your existence. Please bless them all Lord and open their hearts and minds to come before You and know You. Your awesome power. Your awesome love as a Father. Because up ahead, Your light awaits...In Jesus' Name. Amen.
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