Killer Squirrel

Moonstones from a famous beach

Enjoying the quiet stroll on some wooden planks of a pathway alongside the coastal scenery, I heard soft crackling from my left side. Keeping a tight hold of the little moonstones my husband gathered down below on the sandy beach and in which this place was famous for, my right palm housed the gathered, special treasures. Some drying out grasses were bending, as a figure tried to check us out.

“What’s that?” I asked my husband and son.

“It’s the squirrel, mom,” my son answered, opening the lid of the camera he was holding, as my husband turned on the video camera, its black straps dangling from his neck.

“Ohhh… Why does it keep coming closer?” I asked as my right hand froze and so was the rest of my body.

The Killer Squirrel

“Shhh…”my husband and son both warned me to stop making movements and literally to seal my mouth so they could take a picture of the little creature.

I had faced hundreds of murderers, rapists, and so many other criminals where I work. But a tiny creature? It would only take a tiny creature not even bigger than my feet to scare me?

“Shooo! Shooo!” I loudly warned for it to stop being curious with the human beings that were just trying to relax on such a beautiful day.

“Mom!” my son warned louder as my husband’s voice also joined his. “Stop it! So we can take a picture!”

I suddenly thought how these squirrels coming from nowhere must be so used with human’s presence, being fed by others as they ran in commotion to check out what food could be thrown at them and that was why this particular one was not afraid of us.

But please…. Not me…

“Daddy,” I whispered to my husband… “Will it be okay for me to throw these moonstones near him just to scare him?”

Next thing I knew, two of my loved ones were busting, laughing at this afraid being who was ready to let go of little moonstones from her right hand as if they were ammo’s.

“Stop it!” my husband uttered. “Just stop being afraid!”

“Why wouldn’t I be afraid? You guys keep calling him but he keeps looking toward me. And why does he stare at me as if I’m food?”

The more laughter ensued, with intensity of roaring thunders heard on that spot where the surrounding areas were marked with yellow ribbons to prevent humans from touching the preserved area.

“What was that?” my son asked my husband when he was aiming his camera toward the squirrel. He got surprised when a tan-colored sweat shirt dropped on the ground.

“That’s my sweatshirt!” I replied.

The killer squirrel was not harmed. I just kept walking fast, double the pace I usually did. My son was not able to take a picture as he kept laughing, standing still behind me as the gap between us widened. My husband stayed with my son and I wasn’t sure if he was able to film the whole thing but at that point, I truly didn’t care but to keep going fast toward our car and preserve my God-given life.

(You’re reading this post….so you know I’m okay! Thank You Lord!)

Panting in the car as I took a gulp of cold water, I just realized that in reality, the squirrel was not my enemy. It was my fear. And so it is with our spiritual battles. If we know we are on God’s side, we should not be afraid of our spiritual enemies. It is our faith that conquers “fear of anything.” Fear is the enemy’s tool that robs ourselves from having joy or peace. Fear is the tool that distorts our decision-making that keeps us away from walking on the narrow path of life. But faith?  It is God’s tool that helps us realize that God will always come through for us, no matter what we are facing: whether we are going through the severest storms of life or even facing a “tiny squirrel” like the one I encountered.

Yes...Even up to the point of facing death...

“35As evening came, Jesus said to his disciples, “Let’s cross to the other side of the lake.” ³⁶ So they took Jesus in the boat and started out, leaving the crowds behind (although other boats followed). ³⁷ But soon a fierce storm came up. High waves were breaking into the boat, and it began to fill with water.

 ³⁸ Jesus was sleeping at the back of the boat with his head on a cushion. The disciples woke him up, shouting, “Teacher, don’t you care that we’re going to drown?”

 ³⁹ When Jesus woke up, he rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Silence! Be still!” Suddenly the wind stopped, and there was a great calm. ⁴⁰ Then he asked them, “Why are you afraid? Do you still have no faith?” – Mark 4:35-40 (NLT)

Different Journeys

"See!" a young female inmate uttered through the thick glass. "Look! I didn't even pee that much!"

"That's okay," I reassured. "Remember what you told me when you first walked in?"

"I just went pee in my unit."

"Okay...That's why I'm not concerned," I added as I dipped a piece of paper strip that would check her urine for any abnormalities.

"Everything is normal," I blurted out my findings.

Her face marred with a few skin irritations on her forehead, some blemished spots on both sides of her mouth, and her total appearance that made her way older than her real age of just being 19, continued to think about other symptoms to make me give her some pain meds she was craving for.

"Let me be honest with you," I said, interrupting her busy thoughts.

"It is the drugs that are making you feel sick now. You and I both know that you don't have kidney stones. You want the pain medications because your body is going through a withdrawal right now..."

"Why don't you go through that door!" a loud pop was heard as I twisted a black dial that electronically opened a specific door. As I took her vital signs and everything came back normal, I offered some medications to help calm down her upset stomach and relieve her other physical pain.

"You're young," I initiated a conversation as her head bowed low having admitted her heavy use of drugs for many years.

"You're 19?"

"Yes, Ma'am..."

"When did you start using heroin and other drugs?"

"Since I was 13," her head bent down again as if embarrassed with her answer.

"I'm sorry...Usually, I don't say anything. But because you are suffering from severe withdrawal now, if you allow me to speak, may I say try to clean up before you don't even see another year?"

Her look was not surprised. She nodded and agreed.

"But it's hard. You can't do it on your own," I advised.

"There are lots of agencies out there and if you don't have any resources, you may also go to the county hospital and ask for the help that you need..."

"That is....if you value your life..."

She got up and thanked me. I saw her nodding slightly as if I sensed her determination to change and her acceptance that she knew she was in a deep pit and that she needed help.

As the heavy, metal door slammed behind her after I gave her yellow pass to go back to her unit, I felt sadness for her. I sensed her sincere gratitude with the advice I had given but I knew that no matter how helpful and maybe that was the only comforting word she heard that day, I still wouldn't be able to help her with the kind of help she needed.

Her journey is different from mine. It is impossible for me to be walking beside her. It would be impossible for me to walk the way she walks because we started from different directions and are walking on different roads. But despite that fact, we both need guidance with our footsteps. We both need the only One Who can remove any bumps on the roads that hinder us from knowing the only and true direction that our valuable lives need to walk on. The narrow road that leads to hope, a future and an eternal life.

The truth is even if our starting point differs, we will all have the same destiny. We will all reach the end of the road. But the manner of walking depends on us, the manner of choosing which road to go depend on us. In reality, we all need His guidance because there are so many distractions along the way. Some that leads to destruction.

“You can enter God’s Kingdom only through the narrow gate. The highway to hell is broad, and its gate is wide for the many who choose that way." - Matthew 7:13 (NLT)

Where Comfort Is Stored

 "There's no greater comfort than to remember that when you're living in the center of God's will, nothing can ever happen to you without God's permission."- (wordofloveforyou.com)


Yesterday, we got home late in the afternoon after an almost 6 hours journey from our family's vacation that we did not want to end. The heat of the sun was a surprising, unwanted change after the three of us savored a much cooler temperaturefor a few days and as we frolicked and enjoyed every second that passed by, strolling and eyeing shops after shops, tasting their famous clam chowder soups and other seafood specialties.

The light was blinking when I approached our answering machine, noticing only 3 new messages. The last one sounded so urgent.

"Rcubes, this is Nurse G. Please call me but don't call me from work. I'm off tonight and I really need to talk to you..."

My co-worker left her home number. I called and attempted many times. Unfortunately, she must not be home as I missed her original call. Before retiring to bed last night, I decided to try phoning her again as there was no machine where I could leave a message to acknowledge her call.

She picked up. Relating the bad events that occurred at work, I could sense her angry tone and fresh memory of everything that happened between her and the other nurse who was in charge. She knew about the battle I was going through against some of the people who were in higher positions. She asked for a needed advice about the process I had gone through and had walked before.

"Don't worry," I reminded her. "There will come a time that things they do that are not right will be exposed." I paused...

"But do yourself a favor, Nurse G.,"I uttered softly. "Do not let them intimidate you. You're only off for 1 night tonight. Don't think and worry about these things because doing so will not help you anyway. Enjoy your night off and if there is anything else I can help you out with, please let me know."

I could see a smile despite talking on the phone being worn by her lips.

"Thank you, Rcubes. Have a good night and thank you for the info you had given me."

"I will see you at work and I will give you a number to call," I reassured.

Enjoying this favorite spot on a tranquil afternoon

My wounded heart was never the same when it came to my workplace. The harassment never stopped. But taking the much-needed holiday with my family and just being away from work was what I needed to recuperate. I forgot about those worries of my own, seeing and feeling the love that the Best Comforter had given me through His creations and other simple things and simple enjoyment:  

The warm glow of the sunsets that bathed the horizon...

Little squirrels that were not afraid to be fed by humans. Scrambling to get out from their cave houses etched in between the rocks that held the ground splashed by the salty waters. Dashing from under the wooden planks of wood that formed the mile long trails where nature lovers and other people fond of staying fit enjoy...

The sandy stretch of beach that protected the bay from the huge Pacific Ocean, housing some marine animals underneath as kayakers and those who love the electric boats or canoes go by as they slowly paddle with their oars...

The seals that idly lounged on rocky protrusions as the soft roars of the white waters seemed to have rocked them to sleep...

The doughnuts being perfected for 43 years by a mother and her son, freshly made each wee hours of each morning...

The retired people who we met at the place where we were staying and were eager to exchange life's stories and other warm memories from their journeys...

Back in our town where the temperature is almost triple digit, I don't mind the blistering heat now that I think about the past, few days and even if I have to go back to work again tomorrow, I know that I carry these comforting memories that God had given me so I can nurse my inner wound. Truly, the memories are special knowing they were orchestrated by His wounded hands. Hands that were wounded to have humanity be healed. He is the Best Comforter after all.

I know that I don't need to go to another place if I need healing and refreshment. I can call on Him, anytime, anywhere. I know that His love is poured into my heart until it overflowed. That is where His love is stored. In my heart. All I need to do is look inside. And that is my goal...to share this comfort I received to those who need it in return.

"All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. 4 He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. 5 For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ." ~ 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 (NLT)

The Doughnuts

"There is nothing that can replace the absence of someone dear to us, and one should not even attempt to do so. One must simply hold out and endure it. At first that sounds very hard, but at the same time it is also a great comfort. For to the extent the emptiness truly remains unfilled one remains connected to the other person through it. It is wrong to say that God fills the emptiness. God in no way fills it but much more leaves it precisely unfilled and thus helps us preserve -- even in pain -- the authentic relationship. Further more, the more beautiful and full the remembrances, the more difficult the separation. But gratitude transforms the torment of memory into silent joy. One bears what was lovely in the past not as a thorn but as a precious gift deep within, a hidden treasure of which one can always be certain." - Dietrich Bonhoffer


My family descended the steep street and traced the footprints we left 2 years ago that led us to a familiar, antiquated tiny shop.

Photo Credit

A lady was already ahead of us, waiting to be served patiently to the lady who owned this shop who seemed to know her well.

"I'm sorry..." the lady's voice directed to us when our turn came.

"No!No!No!" "That was okay!" my husband, son and I replied in a harmonic unison.

"What do you like?" she asked the three of us.

"Please give us 3 chocolate-glazed, 3 of the plain ones...hmmm..."we paused, not confused with the variety of delicious, freshly-made doughnuts inside the glass case as there were only a few. Her son cut in and just put one freshly-made ring-shaped favorites.

"May I have coffee-crumbed ones?" my son uttered, as his index finger pointed at those.

"4 more and you will have them in the same price as 7 pieces," she said.

We looked at each other. We knew those choices were not healthy for us but we remembered this mother and son pair who made those delicious doughnuts when we came in this special place where we enjoyed taking a break from our busy schedules. And we wanted to bless them by going back and buying a dozen though we won't be able to eat all.

"I have to tell you something," I started confessing.

"We were here 2 years ago and we remembered how delicious these doughnuts were."

"Oh, thank you!" the old lady replied as a wide smile slowly appeared.

"We have been doing this for 43 years," she added with this secret that was supposed to be known.

"Here," I handed her some cash and was received by those wrinkled hands. She opened the cash register and started counting the amount that she was supposed to give me back.

"Please keep the change," we all said. "Thank you and we'll see you again."

Back at the place where we were staying, my son hurriedly removed the top lid covering the box and exposed the choices that we had made. The smell of freshly-brewed coffee filled the entire atmosphere surrounding us, as my son poured some cold milk in his glass.

Grabbing the doughnuts with our fingers through the holes, we savored the avoided treats for so long.

"Yummy..."

After downing 2 pieces each, we decided to stop there. I knew that despite the self-control we would always long for these. However, there seemed to be something always missing...Was it because there were holes in those little fried cakes?

And how true it is, too in our lives. How we often grab and take a hold of those things that truly do not matter. Things that never satisfy us. The truth is we should aim for those holes that we do not see.We should reflect on the void that God applies in each human life He creates. The gap that only He can fill...

"So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever." - 2 Corinthians 4:18 (NLT)