Chicken Winged

“I got chicken winged by the deputy!” claimed a heavy set inmate in front of me, as he showed the hurting right arm.

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“What did you do or say, Sir, that prompted the deputy to do that with your arm?” I asked.

He chose to remain silent. His eyes glowing intensely with anger along with the throbbing pain he was feeling on his right arm, being twisted caused.

“See! Look! My right hand is swelling up now!” he exclaimed with a slightly raised voice.

The Infirmary Deputy stood nearby, guarding all his ways and keeping an eye on me, as I continued to assess the man’s right arm. I ordered for him to try to do all the necessary movements: rotate, flex, extend, to no avail. He claimed his pain was too much and just limited every attempt to move his upper extremity.

“Just watch it!” he warned….as he grew quiet. My eyes read his mind. I knew he had every bit of intention to sue. He felt violated.

Don’t they all say or plan that? These inmates always threaten us that we will be sued. But they don’t readily admit that they are not willing to follow the rules inside the prison. They know and memorize every right from Title 15... Yet, they have never even thought twice or many times to avoid committing a crime outside. They choose to hurt others. They choose to take advantage of others. But with slight pain which resulted from not listening, he was not willing to let go nor admit he was wrong in the first place.

It’s not easy when others have wronged us. In this country, every little offense feeds that hunger to sue. But as Christians, we should be reminded that we have the Holy Spirit and the mind of Christ. We must be willing to settle our disputes and differences among ourselves. Bringing our problems to courts who do not believe on Christian values sometimes, will make them insensitive to what we truly value. As followers of Christ, we must learn to focus on our purposes, not the problems.

“When you have something against another Christian, why do you file a lawsuit and ask a secular court to decide the matter, instead of taking it to other Christians to decide who is right? Don’t you know that someday we Christians are going to judge the world? And since you are going to judge the world, can’t you decide these little things among yourselves?” - 1 Cor.6:1-2

“But I don’t need to write to you about the Christian love that should be shown among God’s people. For God himself has taught you to love one another.” - 1 Thessalonians 4:9

“But you are not like that, for the Holy Spirit has come upon you and all of you know the truth.”
-1 Jn.2:20

"Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord." - Romans 12:19

That man’s arm was okay. I had the jail doctor followed up with him. His arm was not injured. His pride was. Knowing that he couldn’t do anything to fight back behind the prison walls. Not until he learns to follow the authority, those arms would always be chicken-winged here and there.

The Gash

I looked the second time around and noticed that his gash on his right upper eyelid was not bleeding. But when I tried to separate the laceration, I could see that it was a little deeper and did need some suturing. I knew that if we had the Dermabond [a special glue used for some lacerations], that was the only thing that I needed to close the cut up.

This young male inmate claimed that he got up and being sleepy, he got dizzy and fell and hit his head on a metal part somewhere in his unit’s bathroom. Clutching the bloodied towel with his right hand, he kept the pressure until the deputy had brought him down to the clinic so he could be evaluated.

“Sir, before I send you to ER, may I ask if someone tried to hit you in your unit?” I probed.

“No, ma’am. Everything’s cool there,” he answered with certainty as he maintained a good eye contact with me.

“I’m only concerned with your medical issues. But sometimes, some of you don’t like to say anything. And I want to help you out on that aspect,” I explained.

“Thank you but it’s fine, Ma’am,” he replied.

Few hours later, he returned from the county's ER. His deep gash then, was cleanly put together with Dermabond by the ER doctor.

As I took his vital signs before sending him back to his unit, he nervously asked the deputy, “Sir, can you move me to another unit?”

“Why?” the deputy queried. “You didn’t say anything earlier if anyone had hit you, so I couldn’t do anything now,” the deputy continued.

He looked at me. He didn’t say a word. He started to realize why I probed him earlier when I first treated him. It was too late at that time. Because he denied any assault from other cellmates.

“Talk to your unit deputy,” I uttered. “I can’t do anything about it. But the deputy can.”

“Sorry, Ma’am…And thank you,” he answered while his fingers fidgeted a little.

Is there something so deep that is bothering you now? Eating your heart out? We are all weak humans. But we can talk to the Deputy anytime, anywhere and ask for His help to make us win our battles. God’s mighty weapons are available to us as we fight against the unseen enemies: prayers, faith, hope, love, God’s Word can break down any proud, human arguments against God and can break down any barrier that the spiritual enemy had created to keep us from being effective in fulfilling His work in us. God's salvation is right in front of us. It's on people's lips and heart. "If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved." -Romans 10:9-10

“For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”
- 2 Corinthians 10:3-5

Through Suffering

My right shoulder is feeling better friends. I seem to be more slow and take more time to accomplish things. But I am grateful that the Lord always gives me the strength that I need to finish the things that I need to fulfill, day after day. Thank you for all of your sweet thoughts and prayers. My right shoulder still gets achy, time to time. But in all of this, I am still thankful that through the pain, this is nothing compared to the suffering Christ had to go through in order to save me and you. I am continuing to rest. I might visit your sites once in a while and might not leave a comment. Through your written words inspired by the Lord, I am being strengthened, being encouraged, being inspired, and being pushed to keep trusting in the One Who is our sole security. Glory be to God!

Being Christians do not mean we are going to be rid of suffering. Suffering happens to all because of sins. But to live our lives with Christ, following Christ, that sets our journeys apart. For we know whether we are suffering or not, we are living our lives with a purpose. We are not living our lives in vain. May our journeys point others to our "Savior Who suffered the most in order for us to live..."



^"7But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. ⁸We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; ⁹persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. ¹⁰We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. ¹¹For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. ¹²So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you." - 2 Cor.4:7-12 [NIV]

Trusting By Faith

He started whining as soon as I emerged into the male side waiting area of the jail’s Infirmary that night. His huge, thick glasses was familiar to me. His wooden cane sitting right next to him on the floor. He was impatiently mumbling as he had been sitting on a cold, green mattress, his legs partially covered with the jail’s tan blanket. There was an emesis basin on his far left. Except no one was seeing any vomiting since he arrived, complaining of chest pain.

“No one was paying attention to me, nurse,” he complained as he saw me arrived, perhaps, recognizing me as a previous treating nurse when he had his blood pressure way high. Trying to evoke sympathy and hoping I would be the one to treat him as I arrived, he kept complaining.

I kept walking past these waiting bodies, including him, as the deputy popped open the heavy security doors and started watching me as I approached the Clinic.

That male inmate became famous to the nursing staff for his hypertension that couldn’t be controlled. He was often brought to the county’s ER to be treated for chest pain. He learned he could get Dilaudid [a potent narcotic] this way. Everyone was cheering when he was transferred to a state prison. For some reason, he was back. The moment he first complained, there was none from the staff who couldn’t recognize him. He was barely there and his medical chart kept growing and the number of trips to the hospital, piling. The jail doctor knew, there had to be a way to find out if his complaints were valid or not. He sent him for an angiogram of his heart [x-ray]. The result was negative. Ever since, he gave an order: to consult the on-call physicians at times that there was no doctor available in the jail. Because of the result of his angiogram, the ambulance trips were often denied.

Staff had grown tired of him. He knew how to play his game well. Except this time, he was not winning to get the Dilaudid that he wanted. He couldn’t do anything. Except to wait on that mattress however long the staff wanted to treat him. Some yelling at him for not listening, including the deputy. He knew he needed to stop fussing about how he was being abused by not giving the treatment he needed. Or he would get in trouble instead. He never learned to trust the staff because he wanted things done his way...In a matter of few hours,  his whining turned into silence as his body surrendered to sleepiness.

There are times that things don’t go my way, too. It’s not fun since I have this achiness that won’t go away on my shoulders. It feels like reliving the endless pain I had after suffering from a neck injury. I can go on whining if I want to but it doesn’t accomplish anything. I can keep praying for God to heal me but it’s not my timetable when things happen. Perfect timing is always His. I want a quick fix. I don’t want any pain anymore. But learning from my previous injury, I know it’s best for me to just keep trusting in Him. To keep rejoicing despite this trial. To continue serving Him and using even this setback to glorify Him. I know that’s the BEST CHOICE. To continue to worship Him. To Praise Him. To thank Him. Knowing He has my best interest and He is in control. And I know in my heart that He is not ignoring me nor He is tired of my occasional complaints. He wants me to learn to trust in Him and let Him lead the way. If God gave His one and only Son to save me [us], what else could he not possibly give to anyone of us? I know that everything from Him comes with His love. He is love.

[I went to my doctor the other day. My arthritis panel came back negative. We are waiting for the xray result. He gave me something for pain that would not hurt my stomach. It seemed to help a bit. Friends, thank you for your encouragement and prayers always. I’m just resting more lately and not using the computer as much. Just know that you are all in my prayers…].

“The Lord your God is going before you. He will fight for you, just as you saw him do in Egypt. And you saw how the Lord your God cared for you again and again here in the wilderness. Just as a father cares for his child. Now he has brought you to this place. But even after all he did, you refused to trust the Lord your God, who goes before you looking for the best places to camp, guiding you by a pillar of fire at night and a pillar of cloud by day.” - Deuteronomy 1:30-33


“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will direct your paths.” - Proverbs 3:5,6

There is no one like the Lord Who loves you and I unconditionally. When things don't go right, how do we treat Him? How much are we trusting in Him? And only in Him? "May our roots go down so deep into God's love so we can understand things His way. See things His way." One day, we will all see Him...His face...