My Struggles



I struggle for many years. I’m talking about relationships, be it with my own family, friends or others. I sense when someone isn’t honest with their own feelings, I get bothered by it. Then I tend to shy away from those relationships because I feel that no matter what I do or say, our relationship is just…inauthentic! I'm not afraid to say what I feel from my heart even though it will hurt the other. In the same process, I don't know if I'm grieving the Lord that way. When or when not to...is also a struggle.

I don’t want it. I feel it is also a trap that when I enter, it will hold me captive in a cycle of pleasing, praising, even if the words are not coming from true intentions. It makes me sad. Those kind of relationships are just superficial. At the same time, I pray for the Lord to also search my heart and help me always have true intentions when interacting with anyone. 



Lord, for many years, you know what’s in my heart. I tend to stay away from unreal relationships because of me not wanting to get hurt and wanting to have meaningful relationships. Help me Lord to overcome any of these struggles in dealing with my family, friends or anyone who crosses my path. I know that I’m limited but with You, I can do anything. Thank You Lord for making Your grace and forgiveness known to me. Continue to mold me to be like Jesus. Each day. In Jesus’ Name. Amen

4 comments:

  1. What would we do without the Lord? I'm convinced relationships will always challenge me here on earth because of the baggage we carry. Yesterday was hard. I visited a shut in who is very hard to love. I could not have endured without God's grace. He was so very close to me the whole time. When I got home, He truly flooded me with peace! He did it all; I take no credit. I love the Ps 139 graphic! Perfect for this theme, dear sister. Side by side, shoulder to shoulder we press into Jesus and walk in His strength and spirit. Praying for you always and sending big hugs.

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  2. We all have had those relationship that makes us want to run away. I did that for years with my Dad and then Dad put him in my home to take care of. It was a journey I would never tell anyone else to go on but I am so glad He put Dad in my life. I learn and of course still learning that is love is powerful enough to love the unlovely, the one who is frustrating, who thinks only of themself. Little did I know those years I took care of my Dad God was preparing me to go over seas and work with more unlovely people who had pagan practice that would scare anyone. I knew taking care of my Dad it was God giving me the courage and strength, so He proved He could do that over and over. I don't run anymore from those relationships, I try to love. One huge thing I learned taking care of my DAd was I did not have to feel love toward him. Our love is conditional, frail and weak as a new born kitten. But His love coursing through us powerful and leaves us closer to Him. Good post.

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  3. What a beautiful post this is, dear Rosel. I can relate to what you have written. I too am not comfortable with superficial relationships.

    I pray you and your family are not affected by the recent fires that hit Temecula. Praying for you...

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  4. Hey, good friend, I hope you had a wonderful Mother's Day too. Love what you said about moms and the way they sacrifice. Good words. I think that's when moms are the most like Christ. Hope you have a good week. Sending love and hugs!

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"Faith is taking the first step even if you don't see the whole staircase..."
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