Surrender The Job In Us

Then Job replied to the Lord: “I know that you can do anything, and no one can stop you. You ask, “Who is this that questions my wisdom with such ignorance?” It is I. And I was talking about things I did not understand, things far too wonderful for me.” (Job 42:1-3, NLT) 

Credit:Sweet Publishing

I have been waking up early morning hours sometimes. I suspect working night shifts for 20 something years and just loving the night time work has something to do with the nocturnal, built-in alarm that goes off, though silent, is more alarming than the set alarm in my phone.

As I pray, I recall that time when my son was in kindergarten (He is an adult now), and had to put answers on a piece of paper the teacher handed out in class… It was all about what they knew about their mothers. There was this one particular line:

My mom knows _________ (and he wrote “everything”).

Years later, when I brought it up to him, he was laughing and shyly admitted that he knew the truth by then that “his mom didn’t know everything.” And I quickly agreed, “That’s right!”

As each of us grow older, there are those frustrating times when we want answers to everything. But we just couldn’t get them. And even in some instances, we get the answers, but still to us, don’t make sense. It’s harder and harder as our feet step out into adulthood.

I am sure you all heard about the story of Job. He lost everything. His family. His possessions. But it was not losing those that frustrated him. It was not knowing why they had to happen in his life. He struggled to find the answers. His friends even butted in and thought he sinned. There was one who has a partial true answer that suffering could purify his faith. Though he thought that Job became proud and such sufferings came to humble him.

But God is too great for any of us to be understood. We can only understand when we begin to see for Who He is. In the end, Job got the answers. That God is enough in his life. He lost everything. Except God. Trials aren’t easy. But these are opportunities to know more about God and have a deeper relationship with Him. He desires to show His love, His compassion, His grace, His mercy. Just trust and believe. He is the Power that the Job in us needs. Fear. Shame. Guilt. Broken heart. Bondage. Surrender the Job in us. To Jesus.

“All Scripture is inspired by God and is profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for instruction in righteousness,  that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.” – 2 Timothy 3:16-17 (MEV)

“But we are bound to always give thanks to God for you, beloved brothers of the Lord, because God has from the beginning called you to salvation through sanctification by the Spirit and belief of the truth.To this He called you by our gospel, to obtain the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, brothers, stand firm and hold the traditions which you have been taught, whether by word or by our letter. Now may our Lord Jesus Christ Himself, and God our Father, who has loved us and has given us eternal consolation and good hope through grace, comfort your hearts and establish you in every good word and work.” -2 Thessalonians 2:13-17 (MEV)

Lord, this morning, I ask for forgiveness. Forgive me for not remembering the true Power that is in us. You, Who is greater than the one in this world. Empower me Lord. Use me and my remaining days to glorify You. No one else but You. I just want to thank You. For Your guidance. Your provisions. Your protection. You are my everything. My First Love. Draw me always near to You. Thank You Lord for loving us first.

The Surprise

“Is this a surprise for your son?,” I texted my husband at work.

Seeing the framed drawings of my son when he was 3 or 4 years old brought a big smile on my face as I got home from visiting him in his place.

“Not bad…Not bad at all…” I thought to myself. That even then, his talent in the art business was so evident. Learning patience and determination to always create the best in each of his art piece. I knew he always put his heart in each piece. It was not about just creating art. It was about doing something he truly loved and was gifted with. And my husband and I couldn’t be happier but for him to realize his true passion and pursue that goal.

Eager to surprise him despite his busy schedule, my husband brought it over and my son was delighted to see the unexpected gift.In a way, we all laughed about it knowing how big of a difference to see his early masterpieces compared with what he knew now. He found a spot in his room. And put the "reminder" of a humble beginning.

Seeing those early forms of drawing would always bring a smile for me. In a mother’s heart, those tiny, ten little fingers I wouldn’t forget as he chose one color after another and formed lines. He thought nothing of it then. But you, moms out there know what I’m talking about. How many times we decorated our refrigerators with those “surprises from our beloved tots?”

Yet…seeing his designs now also make me smile even more. I see diligence. Patience. Determination. Developed throughout the passing years. The love that he puts in each piece. Not forgetting modesty and the Source of his talent.

He took Computer Engineering at first. Only to be overwhelmed with things he realized he didn’t love. And that was the key…Love…

In this life, it’s okay not to follow a road sometimes. Especially when you don’t have love in your heart to take that path. Because in the end, what’s more important is what you will leave behind. And most of all, Who leads you on that pathway you choose. Yes… Despite the odds… Despite the “unknowns” and the “doubts” that may form. But on these unfamiliar treks, there are potentials to develop gigantic faith. A child-like kind of faith. That’s how we beat the odds. When we believe… Hope…Love…

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. – 1 Corinthians 13:1 (NIV)

The Dead Parts

Do not let any part of your body become an instrument of evil to serve sin. Instead, give yourselves completely to God, for you were dead, but now you have new life. So use your whole body as an instrument to do what is right for the glory of God.- Romans 6:23 (NLT)

I never noticed...Yeah... Those parts of our tiny plants we strategically placed in our house. The leaves were green. But as I tried to look closer, I noticed the dried, dead, skin-like hanging from some branches. I slowly pulled them with minimal effort. How rejuvenating to see that the branches were brought back to its original, fresh, lively state after the wilted membranes were plucked!

It's amazing with moments like that when our minds and hearts realize the spiritual lessons we could muster in each experiences.

How true that in our lives, we need to evaluate what in our lives need rejuvenation, of cutting off which ones are not productive and allowing God's hands to pull away those dead parts from our Christian lives. How wrong we must be to show off and think we are okay because our eternal destination is guaranteed! While the deeds we must be doing are producing nothing for God's Kingdom. Are they really for God or for our own benefits?


May the Lord's double-edged sWORD search each of our hearts...

Look Up

I help a friend bring her parent to a clinic on a particular day every week. Anticipating treatment for a chronic condition, many more also come for treatments by the specialist and the nurses who work in the facility.

I always enjoy waiting at the lobby. Thinking it's the absence of noises from a throng of patients, I realize it's the view in the lobby that calms me as I gaze at the horizon on clear days like today.

"Already here at the clinic. .." I texted my son one time.  Inserting a pic I took of the same vista. But I added it was a beautiful scenery, enjoyed by patients inside the hospital or the clinic.

I hope that every sick person enjoys the view and focus on the panorama than what ails them. In reality, we are all sick people going through tough times, be it health scares  or financial problems, going through divorces or other broken relationships. And many more differing degree of life's woes.

I keep gazing up... So clear... So bright.. So serene...

There's no point to looking back. The past is gone.. There's no reason to look ahead. For no one knows what the future holds.

Except God. He has the future secure.

I gaze some more, wiping my fogging up glasses with the soft, blue cloth. Putting it back to continue to savor the view... To look up ahead... Most importantly, to LOOK up. In doing so, I don't see the things down below that offer no peace the way the skies do.

When calamities of life are on its greatest, LOOK UP...

"I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
 where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth." - Psalm 121:1-2 (NIV)

Children Of Light

You are all children of the light and children of the day. We do not belong to the night or to the darkness. - 1 Thessalonians 5:5 (NIV)

Yet I am writing you a new command; its truth is seen in him and in you, because the darkness is passing and the true light is already shining. - 1 John 2:8 (NIV)

You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. - Matthew 5:14 (NIV)

For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light. - Ephesians 5:8 (NIV)

When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life. - John 8:12 (NIV)



We, who believe in Jesus, are being called each day to walk in the light, not in darkness. The battle begins the moment we open our eyes until each day ends. We battle with our own minds and hearts when we make decisions or choices. May the Lord guide us all and give us His gift of discernment.

By Faith

I was ecstatic when I saw what my son had bought for the first two decorations he wanted to put for his finishing touches in the apartment unit he was renting.  "Do you like it,  Mom?," he queried. The letters stood out. Enclosed in a white bordered frame,  the art said: "We walk by faith,  not by sight..." The other one was: "All things are possible if we believe... 

I didn't know what right words to say. It wasn't enough to say "Nice." "Beautiful." "Good job!" But all of those I said to him. His mother's heart overflowing with joy knowing that he wanted to dedicate something to the One Who made all the transition for his higher education possible and smoothly despite the anxieties we faced with all the unknowns.

"Where are you planning to put this art?", I asked. Pointing to "We walk by faith..." He replied so fast as if he had already envisioned the perfect spot even before I asked. "Mom, right before someone walks out the door..."

"Perfect," I said.

Perfect because I know that it is a strong reminder not only for us but for anyone who will come to visit him that there are so many unknown in this life's journey.  But how important it is to run first to Jesus before we can understand how to "walk by faith". To know more about His wonderful promises that this broken world can never offer. Only then we will truly understand that it's truly possible for anything when we believe, despite the trials we may be in and storms that we may face. I have nothing but joy to know that my child knows the importance of having faith despite facing difficulties or uncertainties in this short life. That's the only way to go forward. And because Jesus is faithful, how wonderful to hope that in the end, that must be so awesome to "walk by sight" where He is...

Be Childlike

We all need to be childlike….Not childish… Not in character…but in FAITH…

For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. – Romans 10:10 (NIV)

Then Jesus said, "Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?" – John 11:40 (NIV)

I have chosen the way of faithfulness; I have set my heart on your laws. – Psalm 119:30 (NIV)

¹⁶ I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, ¹⁷ so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, ¹⁸ may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ,¹⁹ and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. – Ephesians 3:16-19 (NIV)

Letting Go

So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him. ~ Matthew 7:11 (NLT)

I looked at the calendar behind me as I started typing now. A little over a week. That’s all that’s left. How fast time really goes by. Much more, now that I’m not working and has more time to notice things. Like sand, time does go through my fingers in a fast pace.

A little over a week…That’s the time to “let go” of our child. Who will pursue his higher education. His passion to draw things and produce wonderful art from his endless imagination. The “gift” my husband and I have seen since he was little.

Is my husband and I really “letting go?” After investing many years of protecting, loving, providing and teaching this incredible man we are both so blessed with. It is not easy. But love bears all things. Endures all things. Does not keep no record of wrongs.

I used to worry. Given the circumstances of what’s going on around us. Of what I have learned from working in the prison how evil men can be and how early some are being released now. Our child is going to a place. To a new environment. To meet and live with strangers. But he needs to grow.

As I look at each of the passing day, I know I can’t worry but instead pray about it. Daily. As I ask, I know in my heart that is the first thing I need to do at every remaining days. To seek for what God plans to do for our child’s life and for us, as his parents. And to keep knocking until “worry” has no place or root in the soil of our hearts as parents.

“I’m excited for you!” I told my child one morning. “You are entering a new phase of discovery in your life.” “But in doing so, always start your day with the Lord.” “And end your day with the Lord.”

“I love you mom,” he replied.

Now I feel peace. Joy. Things that only come from Him. Deep down I know that worrying shouldn’t take over our hearts and minds as parents. Because worry can never be bigger than our good Father in heaven Who can give anything we ask for according to His will. Who works all things for the good of those who love Him.

I am proud of my child the way he absorbs things we share about his heavenly Father. I know, what he learned and continue to learn on his own will carry him to many places as he does things he is gifted with. No matter how much praises he got from his mentors and peers and us, he knows Who to give it back to. No!!! It is not “letting go” as being apart. This is the time for my husband and I to “let him go”, as a brother in Christ, to where God wants him to be.

We are still his parents and would always be. Actually, in those days that are lost, I feel him closer to us, seeking advice when necessary and loving and respecting my husband and I more. Those lost days are the very foundation which he may be able to use what he learned and continue to learn and to gain more wisdom and know more about God's plan for his life.

A Day In The Lobby

 The Lord is my shepherd.
    I will always have everything I need.
² He gives me green pastures to lie in.
    He leads me by calm pools of water.
³ He restores my strength.
    He leads me on right paths to show that he is good.
⁴ Even if I walk through a valley as dark as the grave,
    I will not be afraid of any danger, because you are with me.
    Your rod and staff comfort me.
⁵ You prepared a meal for me in front of my enemies.
    You welcomed me as an honored guest.
    My cup is full and spilling over.
⁶ Your goodness and mercy will be with me all my life,
    and I will live in the Lord’s house a long, long time. ~ Psalm 23 (ERV)



I saw his reflection on one of the squares of the long window glasses that drew someone's eyes to the wonderful view of trees and hills nearby. His left hand with a plastic cup moved up and down in a rhythmic fashion, maybe nervously rubbing against his left thigh. I didn't know him. I just happened to be in the lobby at the same time. Waiting for my friend and her loved one in the Wound Clinic they visited each Thursday. Since when....I didn't remember.  He was calm on the phone. I assumed he was talking to a close family member. "They couldn't  save my leg anymore," he uttered. With the silence that enveloped us in that roomy lobby, I didn't have any choice but overheard his statements.  "I'm in a bad shape. Just wanna let u know,  I need to be admitted in the hospital now...,"he continued.

I adjusted my glasses falling from my nose. I looked up and saw the blue, clearest skies I'd ever seen. A clean slate from one end of the horizon to the other that served as the background for the tall trees with its branches dancing with the warm,humid winds. That was when I saw his reflection on my right side. He was calm upon being told about his condition. Maybe he wasn't afraid...Then again...what if he was? His wry smile masking the possible fear brewing in his heart.

I haven't been working. Consider it a break for me for working as a nurse. At times, I felt this was my early retirement after working as a night owl for 25 years. But I have been a Christian who wouldn't retire from what my Father leads me to do...In my heart I felt His leading. To pray for the man in denim pants and blue plaid polo shirt who was about to lose one of his legs. Quietly, I felt my lips moved for words I didn't know just flowed. Praying for this man to first be drawn into His grace and mercy. Then, to overcome...

In many days that pass by, I often pray for the Lord for what He wants me to do at this point of my life. I can't complain to the blessing of being a mother and a wife who is given time to take care of my family's needs. But I know, there's always so much more to that. God,sometimes calls His children to step out of their comfort zones in order for them to reflect His light to those who are still in darkness. To pray for anyone even if I don't know them and feel they have the need to be prayed for, so the least I can do.

"I have traveled a lot," his voice echoing down the hallway that leads to the Emergency Room as the hospital was just next door. "Ohhh..." answered the nursing student learning the ropes, as she pushed the wheelchair where the man was sitting. He remained calm and in a positive mood, despite the brewing storm he was about to face. The voice was long gone. There I was still looking at the horizon and glanced at the window glass where his reflection was before. Maybe his heart had already weathered many storms and was calmed by God's hands many times. That he knew Who to trust in times like that.

If only I could find out... I would agree thousands of times. Because God also calmed my mind and heart many times. He saved me from many troubles. He reminded me that whatever I would lose or already lost, there was no limit to what He could give. And in the manner of losing something or even someone dear to my heart, my doubtful, worrisome mind and heart are being driven to rush to the calling of His forgiveness, grace, and mercy.

The Song

I motioned the “swiffer duster” one more time on my three guitars hanging on the wall. Grabbing the oldest gift from my husband, the Fender guitar still excited me as I stroke the six strings and still produced a harmonious tune.

I brought out some easy chords I had saved in my cell phone and my heart was feeling blue. Sad that I had not sang as often as I did when I was learning more about God’s love and grace. As I sang to Him, it took me back in front of perhaps, almost fifty people gathered that Sunday morning to listen to what I had to say. To listen to what I would sing, as their pastor, who was close to my father, had invited me to speak in a blossoming church in that particular small town. As a token of gratitude, despite protesting at first and making him aware I couldn’t sing and could only play easy guitar chords as I learned them on my own, I quietly accepted. I knew I had to speak and give my gratitude to all the members, who, weeks before my short visit, had all prayed by faith for my ill father. Few days before I planned on that visit, my father was able to get out of bed and stayed strong the whole time I was there with him, despite the many trips he endured to a local hospital. I remembered how I prayed and asked God to be there with me and lead me, as I tried to shun away the “fear of speaking, most of all, to sing” in front of those people.

All eyes were glued. I thanked them and reminded them, that I knew…it wasn’t only my father who suffered. I knew each of us carried a storm in our hearts, though varying in degrees or intensities. But they must not forget God’s goodness and faithfulness. All they had to do…was to look at my dad, bed ridden and then, was a walking testimony to what prayers could do if offered with faith and boldly approaching God’s throne of grace. Pairs of hands clapped and mouths shouted with cheers toward heaven.

I reached for the church’s guitar. Adjusting its strange weight on my lap, I tried to get accustomed to the tune of each string. Deep inside, my heart was on a calm rhythm, knowing for sure that those kind eyes would not judge my voice. I went for it (by the grace of God) and sang a particular song I had composed during those times my father was very sick yet God showed His faithfulness to our family. The four corners of the tiny, humble church echoed with my worship song. But I couldn’t finish toward the end of the song, my voice started to falter and my heart was drowning with so much gratitude. I felt Someone was listening at the back that I wasn’t able to see. But I felt His unfathomable love. I apologized, with tears formed on the corners of my eyes, as I thanked all of them. I thought they might gasp with despair but a deafening applause was their answer.

“Dad!” I whispered as I went back to my spot on the pew, next to my father.

“Did you like the song?” Expecting a “Yes” answer from an always supportive father, I was surprised to hear a soft “No!” “Why?” I asked. “Oh, it’s not that I don’t like it. I just couldn’t hear you from where I was.” Seeing his eyes got filled with tears also, he continued… “But I knew it was your heart singing and it was so beautiful.” I hugged him and he gave me one right back as we both straightened ourselves and listened to what the pastor was saying.

That memory remained fresh each time. It wasn’t about my song that touched those people. Each of us that moment was the Song. Songs written out of His love.

Like my guitars, Lord, use me as Your instrument daily. To have a heart with a song that people will hear and know that it comes from You. Thank You God for Your unfailing love.

Forgiveness

I know a friend who has gone through a lot. We all heard the Bible verse: “There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends (John 15:13). I see my friend is and has been doing that. Laying down one’s life’s meaning isn’t bound to just literally dying to save others. It is more than that. She demonstrates that. Daily. When she chose to care for her nephews who lost their mother (her only sibling) at an early age. She chose to do that over her needs, to care for her aging parent now. She sacrificed her life for the sake of her loved ones or friends who are in need. She did that, out of love. Even if she doesn’t talk much about God, I know deep in my heart, she continues to demonstrate the love of God that is in her heart. She always chooses to forgive despite the “unlovable” doing mean things to her. No one sees that. I see that. I know she doesn’t go with the flow of what this world’s standard dictates. No matter how hurtful the words were thrown at her. No matter how negative others perceive of her sacrificial love, she shows how much she loves them all and readily forgives the ones who offend her. That’s not easy. To forgive. But to know when to give that to one who doesn’t deserve and expect nothing back, that is a kind of love from above. Love surely depends on forgiveness. I just pray, today, as she goes to help someone out again, no matter how much this person disrespects her sometimes and utter hurtful things to her, that those people around her will truly know the true beauty that is in her heart. Because from the garden in her heart, she offers the tree of love bearing fruits of forgiveness.  A lot of work on her part, but so easy for those surrounding her. All they need to do…is to realize and accept…

Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy. – Micah 7:18 (NIV)

But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.- Matthew 6:15 (ESV)

Lord, I pray for T. who will undergo a heart procedure today. May it go well under Your Hands. In reality, we all need a heart surgery as well, Lord. Search our hearts and remove anything that hinders our walk with You. Lord, may our roots go down deeper in Your grounds of Love. So that we may bear fruits of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,  humility, and self-control. I ask that You guide K. and give her Your wisdom, discernment, healing, and provisions for all of her needs. Thank You Lord for Your grace, mercy, forgiveness and for Who You truly are. Help us Lord to have Your strength in all areas of our lives especially the ability to forgive readily and love those who are hard to love. Help us remember that none of us deserve Your forgiveness yet You chose to love us first. Thank You Lord.

His Hands

Need I say more?





May you hear the knocking in your heart's door.

May you see the unseen love already given to you.

May you see that surrender to the cross does not mean a loss but an unfathomable gain...

That of which is eternal...

For God presented Jesus as the sacrifice for sin. People are made right with God when they believe that Jesus sacrificed his life, shedding his blood. This sacrifice shows that God was being fair when he held back and did not punish those who sinned in times past. - Romans 3:25 (NLT)

Goodbye To Detention

I remembered the two transparent bags behind the closet doors in our downstairs bedroom. Those bags I used to house all the things I used when I used to work in the prison. Stethoscope. Different kinds of colored pens for charting notes. Pen lights with lights I used to check the inmates’ pupil reactions whenever there was a riot or when the inmate just happened to be under some influence of illegal substances.Stick notes I usually carried in the left pocket of my white lab coat that came in handy when I needed to jot down something that would be significant with my documentation. The simplified lay out of the prison’s map that I used when I was a new employee. It guided me during those times I would have been going in circles as all the housing units looked alike.

I thought letting go would be hard. For each item reminded me of my being a Correctional Nurse. I cut my ID in little, random pieces. I tore those important papers with information that only belonged to the staff. Like radio codes I nervously memorized and much later, became adept at responding to calls when there was a medical emergency.

It’s trash pick up today in our area. I looked at the now clutter-less closet . Despite the darkness behind the close doors, I feel good knowing I can see clearly next time I open them.

The sun is blinding today. The day that is just beginning and no one knows what it will bring. But there will always be comfort knowing that once the light has entered one’s heart, there will always be peace, knowing that baggage of sins are removed. Daily, must we submit our hearts to that Light to allow It to search the baggage stored that bears down heavily in every corners of our hearts.

Goodbye detention center! I’m done being a Correctional Nurse at this time. But being a Christian is never-ending if we are always willing to reflect that Light to this dark place.