This Thing Called Fear

Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates. ~ Deuteronomy 6:4-9 (NIV)

“Mom…Just wanna’ let you know…If my grade isn’t that great, I did try my best…” cautioned my son as he entered the house from the garage. Arriving from one of his early morning final exams from the nearby college where he went.

“Yes…I know…” I reassured. Reminding him he shouldn’t worry, no matter what outcome. He knew his father and I would always understand because we saw how hard he worked. Each day. Each night. Giving all his best.

I couldn’t believe how fast this school year had gone by. I could vividly remember the orientation he had and when we, as a family, had gone to school together to get more familiar with this college. A big step for our son who marveled at longer distances he had to walk. The bigger buildings grouped together by each similarity with a particular course a student would choose.

He sighed…One more final exam to go come Friday. But he said that would be easy. The hardest was yesterday’s.

I gave him a hug. Growing up and seeing him how good of a son he was, never giving my husband and I any troubles, we knew, he was a blessing. As a family, we had a joke. That he should be careful in not getting into troubles from me, knowing his father would also get in trouble. It was a joke because my son looked a lot like my husband in so many ways. Not only from the physical looks but in the ways he dealt with life’s matters. 

I remembered those early Saturday mornings when he was standing on a wooden, dining chair. Leaning over the cast iron skillet warming up on the stove top as my husband carefully taught him to drop those batter they made together to make their “special pancakes” as I just got home. Tired and wanted to go straight to bed from a night shift’s work.

Or those times when he seemed to be excited. Clapping his tiny hands as he solved each puzzle from an educational game he chose to play in his computer. Those “burning the midnight oil” as he labored with all of his subjects in elementary, middle and high school days. To which he passed with flying colors. A dedication to wherever he put his passion on. Very much like his father as I saw from my own eyes. The way they both searched for answers. Patiently. Methodically. Humbly.

The small cars he loved were somewhere collecting dust now. But not the memories of them playing together. Assembling some together. Choosing simple ones among the grander choices. 

And along with that journey came many hugs. Of wiping tears as he experienced broken hearts. From being viewed as “weird” from some peers when my son chose not to join things that he deemed would not be beneficial to him. A lesson his father often uttered during one of their private conversations.

As I’m writing now and enjoying my cup of coffee, I am remembering these 2 boys in my life who bless me so much in my own journey. They are my riches after the Lord. And I can’t help but notice as my son still sleeps in his room, he is now a man. And his father never taught him those “macho things”. His father never taught him to fill his heart with pride whenever he succeeds. Nor he ever told his son to please others just to be accepted. 

Alas! My husband never taught our son to be “courageous”. In fact, the first thing he taught him was to have FEAR.

And this fear is the greatest thing I believe. That molded my son’s heart to become where he is now. Dutiful. Responsible. Respectful. Humble. Careful. Accepting. Loving…And I could go on and on…

Yes, this thing… That even if he walks in these longer distances and unseen miles ahead, my husband and I will never ever worry knowing Who is leading the way.

This thing called fear of God…

 Happy Father's Day to you my dear husband and to all of you great dads out there! God bless and protect you all and continue to guide you all with His divine wisdom. Thank You Lord for Your love and mercy. For Your sacrifice so that we may be adopted and call God our "Abba Father!"