No Room For Fear

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The throng of men started piling up on the cold, concrete bench behind the huge, heavy metal, sliding door that barred the outside yard of the prison. One by one, some of them came in, cuffed together with a chain link. As I got my report from the scheduled Intake Nurse last Saturday night, I knew, those men came from one of the county’s precincts.

“Aww….I feel bad now, Rcubes,” uttered by the Intake Nurse. Feeling ill the previous night, I had told her I would work at Intake when I returned that night to make her go back to the Clinic. All of us knew it was always busy at Intake even on the weekends. Not like at the Clinic. It always eased up on weekends since there was no court.

“Don’t be…I’ve been here for a while but that was many years ago…It’s only a matter of getting familiar again…” Noticing the extended area outside the small clinic that has better barrier for nurses now than back then when I used to work and had immediate exposure to the arrestees. Not great as some could become combative without any warning.

The line slowly disappeared. As I switched between the male and female side of Intake. Screening those who had medical or mental health issues. Clearing them to be booked if I didn’t discover anything alarming regarding their health.

Not including the phone calls that came from different small jails of the precincts. Asking if it was okay for them to keep a particular inmate until they would have the necessary staff to transfer them to our main prison. Some of them would get upset if I went against their wishes. Understanding the hundredths of miles between some prisons, still…The incarcerated person’s health came first.

“Do you want anything from ODR?” asked one co-worker. Finding out last minute that I would be working at Intake. Volunteering to offer me food from the prison’s staff’s dining area. But I always brought my own food. Even if I was scheduled at the Clinic. The Intake Nurse I relieved came back twice to check the suicidal inmates for me. That helped a lot as I continued to screen the constant flow of arrestees.

Though it looked so busy, I knew it wasn’t at all. It was nothing compared to some nights. And my co-workers saw the calmness and steady busy. Not like the nights they had when they work down at Intake.

“My gosh! It’s not busy!” the sick nurse exclaimed.

“Because…I have a secret…” I firmly stated.

“What?” she asked in a probing way.

“I always pray before I go to work. I talk to God because I know He knows everything even before they happen. I trust that. And even if it’s busy, I know it will not be something beyond what I’m not capable of.”

“Thank you, Lord, “ I softly uttered in praise behind my head.

“I used to do that…”she quickly exchanged.

“I asked for a good night at the hospital where I work and I ended up having a bad night.”

“Maybe He wanted you to learn something from that busyness,” I replied.

“That’s true. Because somehow, I made it through…” a few, dry coughs mixed as she uttered.

As the huge door remained silent, I knew that was the time in the morning when the dawn was breaking. I knew there would be no more bodies to come except once in a while. Not a throng. As the sun came out and lit up the whole, huge Intake yard. There were no more police cruisers parked except our own Sheriff’s vehicles and buses. The desk I was working on became clear. I got done with all the charts I had to open for everyone I screened that had medical or mental health issues. I knew I conquered my fear. Not with my own strength but by His grace. There was no room at all to fear knowing that by trusting Him, He would always be there for me. And for those who believe and trust in Him.

After all, He calls me to get out of my comfort zone. Busy or no busy. I am called to partake in His suffering. So that in my weakness, people will see the strength He gives me. And through that, people can see the glory.

Not mine. But Jesus’….

Thank You Lord for always being there for me. 

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. – Romans 8:18 (ESV)

Are we beginning to commend ourselves again? Or do we need, as some do, letters of recommendation to you, or from you? You yourselves are our letter of recommendation, written on our hearts, to be known and read by all. And you show that you are a letter from Christ delivered by us, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts. Such is the confidence that we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God, ... – 2 Corinthians 3:1-18 (ESV)

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. – Hebrews 13:8 (ESV)


  1. WoW... powerful video. I would love to spend time with you in person and hear your stories...I bet you have a godly presence about you. maybe we will meet in heaven :)

  2. Inspiring video and I'm always amazed at the results of prayer and praise. Love your heart for the lost!

  3. your posts with such amazing stories of gentleness and love always touch my heart each time I visit you. After more than four years of reading your blog, I feel like I know you. The only thing lacking is to see you face to face. I loved the video you shared. What boldness... blessings abound, dear Rosel, in the days ahead of you.

  4. your posts with such amazing stories of gentleness and love always touch my heart each time I visit you. After more than four years of reading your blog, I feel like I know you. The only thing lacking is to see you face to face. I loved the video you shared. What boldness... blessings abound, dear Rosel, in the days ahead of you.

  5. Hi Rosel...wishing you a hope inspired Friday.....hugs from my heart to yours.

  6. I am called to partake in His suffering. So that in my weakness, people will see the strength He gives me. And through that, people can see the glory.

    WISE WORDS! Loved it that you were able to witness to your trust in the Lord Jesus! He is carrying you!


"Faith is taking the first step even if you don't see the whole staircase..."
~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

All posts/composed songs copyright by RCUBEs.


The Attacker (5/15/09)

The sun was just peeking from the Eastern skies. Ephesians 6:12 [37 kb]

Out in the prison’s yard, some huge Sheriff’s buses were illuminated by the soft glow coming from the lights all over from the tall lamp posts. Their engines were turned on, warming up, before the buses would take the inmates to the different courts where they would have their trials.

Orange-uniformed men were lined up in pairs, joined together with handcuffs and chained, forming a long line. They already had their breakfast and had their morning medications prior to going to courts. Some were fidgeting, as they waited to board those buses.

All of a sudden, all hell broke loose! Two men were engaged in a fight, using weapons they made secretly for a while. Deputies called for help on the radio, both for custody back-up and medical staff, as well.

When the air was cleared and the other inmates were secured, one man was down on the floor. He sustained multiple gashes but two of them were deep. One cut was vertically etched from his left ear going down to the jaw line. The other dangerous cut was horizontal on his left neck, close to the jugular vein. Pool of blood dripped all over the floor. Holding his bleeding neck, he was pointing at the other inmate few feet away, being guarded by the other deputies.

The other man being accused was not hurt. There were no lacerations nor any other signs of trauma. He was obviously very agitated as he was being questioned by those deputies, while the medical staff started treating the other man on the floor. They cleaned the wounds and controlled the bleeding. That man was sent to the nearby hospital.

When the investigation was finalized, it turned out to be that the “downed man who was accusing the other inmate” was the attacker and the other one who didn’t have injury was the one attacked. The deputies found out that it was the second attempt to attack the unhurt man. Both attacks on him failed. He was well-prepared after the first attempt on him, that when the second attempt was done, he was able to defend himself and ended up injuring his attacker severely.

[Source: NLT Bible ]:

We also have an “accuser of the brethren.” Satan and his army of demons are the enemies of God and of everything good.

“Because God’s children are human beings – made of flesh and blood – Jesus also became flesh and blood by being born in human form. For only as a human being could he die, and only by dying could he break the power of the Devil, who had the power of death.” –Hebrews 2:14

Because of what Jesus had done [dying on the cross], we, who live in constant fear of death shouldn’t be afraid anymore. Jesus had freed us from that fear so we can live for Him. When we belong to God, we know that death is only the portal that leads into “eternal life”. [“Thank You Lord!].

Paul warned us, too that we also battle against the evil forces of Satan, who is a vicious fighter. But to be able to withstand their attacks, we must depend on God’s strength and use every piece of His armor. We face an army whose goal is to defeat Christ’s church. When we believe in Christ, they become our enemies. They will try any device to turn us away from the Lord.

Fear not! For God has provided His supernatural power to defeat Satan and his army, through His Holy Spirit within us. So, arm yourselves with God’s armor.

Let us be strong in the Lord's mighty power. Let's put on His whole armor to resist the enemy's attacks: put on the sturdy belt of truth and the body armor of God's righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News, so that we are well-prepared. We will need faith in every battle as our shield to stop the fiery arrows aimed by Satan and his army. Let us put on salvation as our helmet, not forgetting the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. Let's pray at all times, on every occasion in the power of the Holy Spirit. We must stay alert and be persistent in our prayers for all Christians everywhere. [Ephesians 6:10-18].