Quick To Blame

"If you don't do your part, don't blame God..." - Billy Sunday

The code to be not denied with sick call request was well-known. By prisoners who had come and gone. And to those who would stay forever behind those bars.

Chest pain

Especially late at night when another day was just starting. The phone rang next to where I was sitting and immediately, I recognized one of the units calling. Stating the specific problem or complaint from a newly-housed prisoner, the person on the other end of the line wanted my approval if it would be okay for them to send him…

“He complained of difficulty breathing and having chest pains!” she explained. Both of us knew…I couldn’t say “No!”

He was breathing okay when I was observing him as his tall, lanky figure entered the Infirmary. A few, dry coughs were the ones noticeable. I immediately let him in to the exam area so I could start getting his vital signs. Without asking. I wanted him to tell me the symptoms himself. 

“Ahhh….This place…Since I got here, I started having this cough and it’s like…it’s like…I have a lot of saliva or something and it’s hard to swallow…” 

I remained silent. He kept blaming the “jail”… “This place…”

No mention of “chest pains.”

I asked if he had sinus allergy. He denied it. He said it was the first time he had those symptoms. I explained…whether it was in the jail or outside, it was the season for allergy sufferers as the pollen count was high daily…If not, he could be developing the symptoms. I tried not to be rude. It was easier for me to just tell him not to commit a crime…So he wouldn’t be in “this place” in the first place. Or…that…he was not having any “chest pain”. He could have put a sick call. The normal process inmates do by putting a request slip until the sick call nurses would get in each unit to do the sick call there in the morning. Night shift nurses only tried to see life-threatening or urgent cases. But most of them, even minor colds wanted to be seen right away.

I gave him some “allergy pills”. I told him to put a request slip for another sick call if those medications would not help.

“Drink a lot of water, too, Sir,” I added as he got up and thanked me and slowly re-traced his footsteps back to his unit.

I thought I saw myself in him. Quick to blame God for any suffering. Instead of me listening to His Word, I demanded for Him to give me what I needed and wanted. Instead of trusting in Him, I wanted to solve some problems my way. My strength. Despite me knowing I couldn’t do it on my own.

Help me Lord. To always trust in You. To always remain joyful despite the trials I face. To remember that I am not alone and that You are always there for me. Helping me go through each storm in my life. Increase my faith Lord to help me overcome the “Impossible” that are not to You. I thank You Lord for Your endless love, grace and mercy. I know I need you...Always...In Jesus’ Name. Amen.



  1. How easy it is to blame God and others. I also want to remain joyful even in the midst of trials. I love your prayer. And of course, I love this song too.

    Blessings and love,

  2. I hear ya loud and clear on this one Rosel. Although I do not end up blaming God these days, there was a time He came first in my mind to blame. Hugs.

  3. I had a hard time with this just the other day. So glad people can not read our minds...it is not always easy to keep a smile or a patient attitude..I appreciate you truthfully sharing with us.

  4. "I thought I saw myself in him."
    This is the truth for all of us...
    how humble you are to voice it!
    God uses our mundane circumstances
    to open our eyes a bit wider, doesn't He?

    May we never forget why He came!

    patrina <")><

  5. It is so easy to play the "blame game" - it gets us off the hook of personal responsibility or owning up. I appreciate the way you were kind to the inmate, and even addressed him as "Sir." Whenever I read your blog posts, I can't help but be amazed at the way you treat the inmates with dignity and respect, even when you know they are just bluffing.

    God sees behind our facade too... and He still treats us with dignity and respect!

    Blessings to you dear kababayan.


  6. Isn't it hard to remain joyful in trials? I keep hearing how we should not let any pressure or anxiety mess with the order of our day and live above it all.
    Not an easy thing to do for sure, but the right thing to do!!!
    Hugs, dear friend!

  7. Quite the challenge as we face the difficulties in this world.
    Hugs and prayers,


"Faith is taking the first step even if you don't see the whole staircase..."
~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

All posts/composed songs copyright by RCUBEs.


The Attacker (5/15/09)

The sun was just peeking from the Eastern skies. Ephesians 6:12 [37 kb]

Out in the prison’s yard, some huge Sheriff’s buses were illuminated by the soft glow coming from the lights all over from the tall lamp posts. Their engines were turned on, warming up, before the buses would take the inmates to the different courts where they would have their trials.

Orange-uniformed men were lined up in pairs, joined together with handcuffs and chained, forming a long line. They already had their breakfast and had their morning medications prior to going to courts. Some were fidgeting, as they waited to board those buses.

All of a sudden, all hell broke loose! Two men were engaged in a fight, using weapons they made secretly for a while. Deputies called for help on the radio, both for custody back-up and medical staff, as well.

When the air was cleared and the other inmates were secured, one man was down on the floor. He sustained multiple gashes but two of them were deep. One cut was vertically etched from his left ear going down to the jaw line. The other dangerous cut was horizontal on his left neck, close to the jugular vein. Pool of blood dripped all over the floor. Holding his bleeding neck, he was pointing at the other inmate few feet away, being guarded by the other deputies.

The other man being accused was not hurt. There were no lacerations nor any other signs of trauma. He was obviously very agitated as he was being questioned by those deputies, while the medical staff started treating the other man on the floor. They cleaned the wounds and controlled the bleeding. That man was sent to the nearby hospital.

When the investigation was finalized, it turned out to be that the “downed man who was accusing the other inmate” was the attacker and the other one who didn’t have injury was the one attacked. The deputies found out that it was the second attempt to attack the unhurt man. Both attacks on him failed. He was well-prepared after the first attempt on him, that when the second attempt was done, he was able to defend himself and ended up injuring his attacker severely.

[Source: NLT Bible ]:

We also have an “accuser of the brethren.” Satan and his army of demons are the enemies of God and of everything good.

“Because God’s children are human beings – made of flesh and blood – Jesus also became flesh and blood by being born in human form. For only as a human being could he die, and only by dying could he break the power of the Devil, who had the power of death.” –Hebrews 2:14

Because of what Jesus had done [dying on the cross], we, who live in constant fear of death shouldn’t be afraid anymore. Jesus had freed us from that fear so we can live for Him. When we belong to God, we know that death is only the portal that leads into “eternal life”. [“Thank You Lord!].

Paul warned us, too that we also battle against the evil forces of Satan, who is a vicious fighter. But to be able to withstand their attacks, we must depend on God’s strength and use every piece of His armor. We face an army whose goal is to defeat Christ’s church. When we believe in Christ, they become our enemies. They will try any device to turn us away from the Lord.

Fear not! For God has provided His supernatural power to defeat Satan and his army, through His Holy Spirit within us. So, arm yourselves with God’s armor.

Let us be strong in the Lord's mighty power. Let's put on His whole armor to resist the enemy's attacks: put on the sturdy belt of truth and the body armor of God's righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News, so that we are well-prepared. We will need faith in every battle as our shield to stop the fiery arrows aimed by Satan and his army. Let us put on salvation as our helmet, not forgetting the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. Let's pray at all times, on every occasion in the power of the Holy Spirit. We must stay alert and be persistent in our prayers for all Christians everywhere. [Ephesians 6:10-18].