In Me

during one of our trips by the beach

I took the last sip from my second cup of coffee I brewed when I got up at 4:00 in the morning. Spending time with His Word before the sun peeks at the horizon this Friday. The what was very cold last drop touched my tongue and reminded me I had forgotten to lift my cup as I visited some of my blog friends.

I haven’t worked since my brother and his family came here for a visit last month. It was my choice. My work did not want to accommodate me when I asked to remain working part time 2 years ago. But since demoting my position, it didn’t make sense to me that they kept calling me, requesting, sometimes, even pleading that my help was truly needed and would be appreciated. Just like yesterday…I was tossing the vegetables with the chicken on the stove top when the phone rang. I didn’t pick up and let the answering machine took the message. For me. The one doing the nurses’ schedule left a message, coaxing me that my help was needed this Saturday for night shift as they would be very short.

Nights? I thought to myself. They didn’t even want me to work nights. Now, she wanted me? I had been a night nurse since 2000 when I entered that prison door. But they took that away also. The harassment and discrimination that seemed to be determined that I would be calling it “quits”. But by God’s grace, I didn’t. I hang on. I tried to fight. Even if the expected help did not come. But it was the divine grace that sustained me. Up to this time…

They put me as Per Diem. The statements uttered to me with pride knowing what their positions could do without anyone questioning them would happen. They knew. I knew. It was the way things always go in this world. That they seemed to prosper by relying on the power and strength they possessed. Thinking that they would enable me by making me a Per Diem and not gave me the benefits I shouldn’t be entitled to because of my disability, they were sure that I would quit. 

But they didn’t know. I gave this battle from day 1 to Jesus. Making me a Per Diem became an advantage. Instead of them forcing me to work on those shifts that were hard, I could then choose the hours and the days that I wanted to work.  They couldn’t do anything. They were the ones who did that. But God had turned around. For good.

 

And this morning, as I sipped that cold coffee, I am not even aware that the golden glow of the sun had already burst from the eastern skies, as I looked out the window. I will not be afraid even if I don’t know what is to transpire this day. Knowing that in this world’s instability, I believe in a constant God. I believe in His truth. I believe in the Anchor of my soul Who gives me calm and peace and joy especially during the severest storms in my life. He is my hope. I turned my head again toward the window. 

Deep inside I know…We don’t cast out anchors deep below. We cast our anchors high above. That is where imperishable hope comes. That is the source of true peace as we weather the storms here below. Jesus is here...

In me…

This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. It leads us through the curtain into God's inner sanctuary. - Hebrews 6:19 (NLT)