Crying And Healing

"I'm sorry....I am about to cry..." I whispered audible enough for my husband, my son and my husband's friend(I will call "T") visiting from another country to hear. I choked up, wanting to release a few words from my mouth that seemed to be blocked by my heart feeling the pain from another person's difficult loss.

My husband and his friend...They used to work together many years ago. They were communicating before despite the thousands of oceans between them. Then, we moved into another house. We didn't know. He also moved into another job. Those changes separated them and made them lose their contact. As seasons changed, as our children grew up, as we had transition from our youth to added years of adulthood...time slipped like sand...

T. knew some of our relatives, us, being from the same hometown. He got hold of my husband by sending a text. So, my husband, excitedly invited him to our house. He accepted. But in that short communication, he tried to explain. He  would not be with his wife. Fighting back tears, he told my husband...She passed away. Few months ago. From cancer. And that was why he came here to another country. Trying to be strong, he wanted his only child just to breathe a different air. Out of all the pain they both had to go through. They wanted to remain strong. And to find healing.

In front of me, despite us meeting for the first time, he narrated all the wounds that opened up and the difficult road he walked on. Especially his wife. And son. As tears welled up in my eyes, I prayed silently in my mind. For God's help to help us with our words to T.

(For God always comforts us we can comfort others)...

I let the tears flow. My son, despite being young, let his tears flow. Without embarrassment, he shared the pain he felt, too. All of us were crying.

"I am very sorry. That we were never there during that time. But I know it's never too late. To offer you, T, our help. If there's anything that we can be of help, please don't hesitate to let us know."

He nodded his head. As if that was his way of saying "Thanks". No words came out as he stared at my son openly crying, too in front of him who he met just an hour prior to that.

"I wish my son will do that. I wish he will show his emotions, too like you Kristian," he uttered.

"Because I know crying is good. It could be healing," he added.

My husband and I explained...That growing up we always included our son in everything. Letting him know of all the steps we were taking. Whether it was a step that led to victory. Or to loss. We reassured him that "crying was not a sign of weakness." As we walked on many roads of life's uncertainty.

"Ahhh..." we all sighed. As those pent up emotions were released, we remembered some memories. And how we laughed at some. Crying. Laughing. Together. It could be healing.

"I will probably come back  here in December," T. teased us.

"Anytime..."my hubby and I said as we said our goodbyes and hugged each other.

"Thanks be to God," I uttered loudly on purpose.

"For our time together."

It was good to send him off with a smile on his face. What a contrary to when he first arrived upon stepping on our worn out welcome mat. Indeed, my family and I felt that big wound in his heart. But as he left, I prayed. That he would hide instead his wound and painful loss in Christ's wounds. That was a sure way of finding healing. For in Christ's wounds, "we are healed."

He was wounded for our rebellious acts. He was crushed for our sins. He was punished so that we could have peace, and we received healing from his wounds.- Isaiah 53:5 (GWT)


  1. Tears are very healing and so are friends.

  2. Sometimes there's just nothing so cleansing as a good cry. It's God's pressure valve & salve rolled into one. Too, I often think tears demonstrate a heart that can feel, which is why so many people don't cry unless they're angry.

    I pray those tears are now held in His bottle, replaced by the TLC that He alone provides ... somethimes through friends.

  3. There is a time to laugh and a time to cry....crying with your friend may just have been the healing medicine he needed...that was wonderful advice you shared with him about your son...I feel it may just be the key for him to help his son. Blessings friend.

  4. I am sorry for your family and friends loss Rosel. I thank God for tears because they show that we have feelings of love when we are lacking in words. I love you much!

  5. What a picture of the body of Christ being used to bring healing. Thank God your family was there for his. Blessings.

  6. Sometimes the only thing you can do is ...cry. Jesus wept. He felt emotions. We feel emotions. And sometimes we don't have words to speak but we feel along with those who are hurt or have suffered loss like your husband's friend.

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  8. That was an appropriate and genuine response, nothing heals better than sharing his sorrows.

  9. Crying is very healing for me.

  10. Dear Rosel,
    My tears also flowed in my heart as I read this post. What a painful loss to lose a marriage partner, that road I have travelled. It was good you and your family were there to openly shed tears of sympathy with him, and FOR HIM. Maybe, some of the tears that fell from your eyes were the tears Mr. T. needed to see for his own healing. How I only wish his son had been with him on that visit.

    Thank you for openly sharing your heart on this post, dear friend. The Bible admonishes us to rejoice with those who rejoice, and to weep with those who weep.

    Much love

  11. I never used to let myself cry....but now....crying is a good thing..wishing you a great day.

  12. His peace and healing are what we received when He was crushed. Praise the Lamb!

  13. Yes, that was a needed "Tears" moment with you, Ros.

    You openly and un-embarassingly shared his grief... even just crying, it would be healing for him.

    And yes, he needs to claim the redemption of pain and wounds by Jesus suffering and death. It was paid for in full.

    By your prayers, he is going to get the grace too, in His time.

    GBU, and yours.


"Faith is taking the first step even if you don't see the whole staircase..."
~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

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