Wrong Weapon

8 Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. 9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” – Joshua 1:8-9 (NIV)

I was still trying to finish a particular inmate’s medical chart after seeing him when I saw the Charge Nurse opening an envelope that had the ER doctor’s orders in it. I knew that another inmate had just arrived from the hospital.

“Let me just finish my charting and I can see her,” I told the Charge Nurse.

Seeing I was so busy, it was nice enough for her to take the inmate’s vital signs and so I didn’t need to do anything but just take care of the orders. Except…I still wanted to see her and make sure she was okay because the charting of our observations would fall on me then. I didn’t want to write “inmate without distress and doing well” without even seeing her even though the other nurse had seen and already talked with her.

She went out for vaginal bleeding. 3 months on the way. 9th pregnancy as I recalled. Looking tired, she was dressed up in those blue paper gowns except her back was not showing. Everything was paper even her shoes.

“What happened? Are you okay?” I asked as she looked up and gave me a weary smile.

“I’m fine now, Nurse. I bled a lot earlier,” she replied.

“Are you still bleeding a lot now?  Are you still having pain?” I asked with deep concern knowing how the Charge Nurse had passed on to me that she felt that ER had returned her to the prison so soon.

“I’m not bleeding as much now, Nurse. My tummy is okay,” she reassured me instead.

“Any stress from your unit or from home that could be the source of your worries?” I asked (It became my routine to ask any inmates this kind of question to probe more as sometimes, the true source of their sufferings which are the not so obvious ones are not known).

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Her calm demeanor was replaced with a hint of reserved anger. Her smile faded away.

“It’s my first time here, Ma’am. Do you know that it’s an assault to use that Mace?”

“If not used properly, yes, I know…”I paused to give her more room to allow her to vent her anger if she wanted to.

“My niece and I had a fight and she was about to attack me. So, I had to defend myself and I pressed on that Mace to ward her off from hurting me…Guess who got arrested? Of course, me!” she uttered with disbelief.

“I’m so sorry that happened. Thank you for telling me. I know it’s easier said than done but I want you to concentrate on healing and focusing on what is in you if you want this baby.”

“I do,” she quickly replied.

“Just be careful next time and while you’re in here, I want you to know that you can ask your unit to call us if there would be any further bleeding or other symptoms you feel are not right. Even if you’re not sure.”

“Thank you,” she replied with a wave of calmness coating her words.

As I had been going through a tough battle regarding my career in the prison against some of the highest seated people who wanted to end my career without any valid reasons, I almost had the tendency to use the wrong weapons at the beginning to repel them. I could have been gossiping, remained angry, and unforgiving. Wrong weapons not provided by God in such unseen battles. It had been a little over a year now and even if I awaited some help from another agency, God reminded me all this time that the battle had been on His hands and the weapons were readily available for me to use.

Using my own strength will never accomplish anything. Keeping God’s weapons inside will just leave me vulnerable to the enemies’ attacks. But used defensively, the enemies’ darts of lies, doubts or temptations are actively repelled. (Glory be to God!).

11 I saw heaven standing open and there before me was a white horse, whose rider is called Faithful and True. With justice he judges and wages war. 12 His eyes are like blazing fire, and on his head are many crowns. He has a name written on him that no one knows but he himself. 13 He is dressed in a robe dipped in blood, and his name is the Word of God.” – Revelation 19:11-13 (NIV) –emphasis is mine…

17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.”
– Ephesians 6:17 (NIV) – emphasis is mine…


  1. The Word of God is the most powerful weapon we have sis, love you.

    1. Amen sister Denise...I treasure your visits...Blessings and love.

  2. We all just finished watching the Super Bowl this week. The winner used up a lot of the clock in a running game, and a smaller amount in a passing game.
    BOTH sides depended on defense to stop the other side. But the key to victory was to score.

    The Armor of God is often brought up here, and for good reason. It is not brought up in many other venues!
    Almost ALL of the Armor is defensive!
    Helmet of Salvation = guard your mind
    Breastplate of Righteousness = guard your heart
    Shoes of the Gospel of Peace = stand firm
    Shield of Faith = protection from Anything thrown at you from any direction
    Belt of Truth = gird your loins? hold up your pants?? No, protect you all 360 degrees around you with TRUTH, Christ Jesus who said "I am the Way, the Light, the TRUTH"

    All of those make a grand defense.

    There is only ONE offensive weapon....the Sword of the Spirit which is the Word of God.

    Paul used the Roman equipment imagery TWICE on the offensive weapon.
    Long sword we see swinging and slashing is LOGOS. This is the big picture; the main battle; the whole thought.
    Short sword or a dagger, is employed when you are up close and personal and about to destroy evil. It is RHEMA.
    Rhema is a personal disclosure from the Holy Spirit to YOU, of which words in the Bible to say aloud and when.
    The Holy Spirit knows how to defeat ALL of the evil spirit.

    To be able to utter the Word of God, you must first have read it, become acquainted with the thought and power of it, memorize it, and then utter it aloud as directed and when directed, by the Holy Spirit. It is an unmistakable occurrence each time; personally fitted for victory when employed.
    It is critical to memorize scripture for Rhema moments you will encounter as a Christian.

    Only God can read your mind; omniscience. Satan can only be in one place at a time (albeit his minions are legion and everywhere) but neither satan or his legions of evil can read your mind. You must express your fear, your anger, your worry visibly or verbally in order for satan to exacerbate it.
    What comes out of your mouth often becomes a weapon for satan to use against you. (fears, vanity, envy, anger, etc)
    OR if what comes out of your mouth is not a disclosure of your mind, but the word of God, and a disclosure of your ally within, it is finished!

    David saw the LOGOS; a Philistine giant was mocking the God of Israel and this set David in motion to destroy that evil.
    They tried to outfit him with protective armor, and it was too heavy and unwieldy for him.
    He set out for victory unarmed with a bullet.
    The WEAPONS were provided while he was on his way (he picked up the smooth stones for his sling that would embed Goliath's forehead).

    When my daughter and I head to the beach and skip stones on the water, we have a favorite spot, on Beach 2.
    The stones on the edge of that beach are not irregular or heavy. That are flat, smoothed edged from waves, easily held, and designed to skip across the top of water and make momentary marks of their path. We can easily get over a dozen "skips" with these stones, while other spots kerplunk stones in one or two "skips".

    Rosel, you KNOW the word of God. You have memorized much.
    You know the LOGOS, better than most folks I know.
    And because of that, the RHEMA will be given to you by the Holy Spirit EACH TIME you require it.
    You won't even have to ask. You will utter aloud for it is not you talking.
    And afterwards, standing in victory, you will say to yourself "Did I just say that???" as if in disbelief such brilliance could occur.
    Then, you will smile at how up close and personal our God is to those who love Him.

    That would be you!

    The right stone, at the right time, is coming, and is lethal to foes. I will read it here one day.
    God bless you abundantly!

    1. Tired from work, I also watched the Superbowl though not much of a fan...Wondering why there was no Pats blocking the man who was wondering himself why his QB was yelling "Don't score!" when they were trained to score...But ultimately, him dropping with the ball on the end zone became the winning point for them in the end.

      I could easily win against false accusations thrown at me because of evidences I gathered...but I thought I heard God telling me, "Wait..." and hard as it was, I must learn to wait...It has been a little over a year now, Keystone and I'm still waiting...But during this process, I'm not only learning to wait, if I am contented before, I gained much more. If I'm trusting in Him before, the more it grows...I know I have the ball but it's not the proper time to score...It will happen in His time...PERFECT TIME...

      Thank you for always encouraging me and cheering on...God bless you more. To God be the glory!

  3. There was confusion in that final play!
    The quarterback handed off the ball for an advance into territory. 6 yards would be a touchdown, but only a field goal was needed.
    In a field goal, only ONE person makes or breaks the team.

    Unbeknown to the runner with the ball, and unbeknown to the quarterback who set it in motion, the OPPOSING coach had issued his minions an order.
    "Let them score so WE get the ball with enough time to score even more", said Belichick of the Pats.

    Manning, quarterback for the GIANTS, did not know this at the moment of handoff, but DID know this when he saw the line open up like the Red Sea being parted. THIS never occurs! "Don't score! Don't score", he yelled to the now well, propelling runner, with no one touching or stopping him, and for a moment, him wondering if HE was just that good, or something wasn't right here.

    He turned around a full 180 degrees to see his 'boss', Manning yelling NOT to score....the opposite of all his training.
    At the 1 yard line, a field goal would win just as easily, but removed all time for a comeback.
    Game over...provided the field goal went in and the time was not left for a come back.

    Momentum made him fall over the goal line......a GRAND lesson for Christians to stick with the plan and you will actually fall over the goal line and win, by obedience to what you learned.

    The game consists of 4 equal quarters of life. Each quarter is precisely 15 minutes.
    Yet, a 6:30 pm kickoff would play well into the night for hours. The game was not even close to over at 7:30 pm....an hour.

    God is outside the dimension of time too. It is a year for Rosel, but not for God.

    I once read of an author, who was writing a book, and jotted down this:
    "He grabbed a warm cup of tea, sat down on his favorite chair and eased into comfort. Just then, there was a knock at the door"

    The author stopped writing.

    Notice the character is comfortably ensconced in his chair, and hadn't sipped the tea, and a knock was at the door.
    We have no idea what is going on.
    Who is at the door?
    Is the tea hot enough?
    Did he get back up for honey or lemon, then sit down again?
    Was someone else in the room?
    Would someone else in the house answer the door?
    Was company expected?

    The options are endless.

    Now the AUTHOR of the book could tell us what happened next. He was crafting all that was happening.
    BUT, He may come back in one minute and continue authorship, or may come back to continue in 3 weeks, and continue where it ended.

    To the character sitting in the chair, holding tea, hearing someone is at the door........time ceased.
    He would remain PRECISELY there and in THAT moment, until the AUTHOR jotted down the next step to occur.
    And HE will.

    Zachariah lost his speech for 6 months for an utterance of disbelief.
    Moses wandered with a million folks in a desert for 40 years, peered into the Promised Land, from Mt Nebo
    (I did too last year and Jerusalem is directly across; the top of the Dead Sea to the left and in between Jordan and Israel).
    He could go no further with the people he led; the AUTHOR saw him strike the rock twice, after being told to just strike it, and wrote Moses out of the story of entry to the Promised Land.

    Days later, we were back in Israel, and a top the Mount of Transfiguration, staring at a wonderful church.
    In this spot, all three would appear; Jesus, the Father, and the Holy Spirit.......just as all three gathered at the Jordan to view the Baptism by John, of Jesus.
    "This is my beloved Son" said the Father. Jesus was there. (both spots) And the Holy Spirit came disguised as a dove.

    But I turned to my sister and asked if she recalled who Peter wanted to build an altar to at the Mt of Transfiguration?
    She recalled Elijah and went blank. I reminded her that MOSES was there and Peter wanted to build an altar in honor of their being at that spot.
    That spot.......is IN the Promised Land. Moses made it, eh?


  4. the rest...

    2,000 and 12 years later, Rosel sits in her chair, sleepy, haunted, weary, and yet relaxed, waiting for a knock at the door of answers.
    The AUTHOR will pen the next step in HIS time, and to us it may seem years, while to HIM, it was the next item on His "to do" list and He did/will.

    What a privilege to be an actual character in His story as it unfolds. That would be you!

    What a privilege to watch the story as it unfolds. That would be me, watching your story, knowing He will answer as He did for me.

    I love these mysteries in real life!

    I have a hunch that the time is NOT being used to cut a diamond facet into you; you shine girl already!
    I have a hunch that the delay in the game of life here in this last quarter, has to do more with the OTHER folks in your game....those people at your work are being AUTHORED, and they have stiff necks.

    Wait! I cannot hear my door bell as I am deaf. But I tell people to jump on the porch and I will feel the vibrations and answer.
    Rosel, somebody is jumping up and down on my porch. I must get up and ........


  5. Much later, I heard that,too...That the Pats made that gamble of letting the Giants score so they would have the last precious remaining time to score and win!!! To their disappointment as the catches failed from all those great passes by Brady...I don't know football much Keystone. But from watching I learned.

    I had been quietly doing my job. Faithful. Never lazy. Until we had a change of leaders. Everyone's schedules got changed. People were switched around in our 3 facilities. I was that man sitting comfortably, about to enjoy my tea, when I heard that knock on the door. It was bad news I didn't expect. Those who came by my door delivered their ill motives in front of me...

    Great athletes forget one thing... The best game hasn't been won yet!
    Those people in high positions at my work forget one thing...They can plan all they want but there's One Who directs our steps!

    I stood there by the door still...For I wasn't looking at those people in front of me. From the very beginning I had already discerned their evil plans. I was looking at that One Who already told me ahead of time to "be still..."

    Because He is God!!!

    I am still a big work in progress. Pruning is not fun but necessary. I pray He will cut away those branches not producing fruits.

    You may not be able to hear but I am amazed by the way you perceive things or hear things...I know your wisdom did not occur in one night...Through life's experiences and your great faith, you hear people's hearts. Better than those capable of.

    Someday, it will be an honor to post about the Lord's victory that He is working in my journey. I'm grateful I am not alone. Thanks be to God! Thank you Keystone...for your heart that hears.

  6. I do not always check in here, Rosel......but I NEVER check out!
    I can not hear, but I can listen, read lips, and am learning ASL...the beautiful Sign Language of Native American Indians.
    Their sign for "heaven" or "glory" or "Holy Spirit" always brings a tear to my eye, it is so beautiful.

    When I could hear, my journey that you are on now, lasted 17 years of absolute unbelievable nonsense.
    I learned spiritual warfare, after decades of never even hearing the term. In retrospect, it was over in a flash....but not when it felt like I was riding the rapids, upside down, banging my noggin on rocks below water. Nope! Pruning is no fun at all.

    Wednesday nights for years, I helped people in divorce, later just children and teens. (dad in jail; ripped families, etc).
    Like the next wave crossing from Canada to USA on our Great Lake, an unending supply of broken people came in.
    People need to talk to get it out, often by just hearing themselves saying what is silent inside, and saying it aloud to finally "hear".
    20 people became 40 became 80 and more every week. Decades of this.

    5 of 8 of my sisters have been a nurse at one point of their career.
    One sister came to me and asked: "Keystone, why do divorced people vomit their whole life out at you?" [meaning 'at her']
    [nurses hear everything in human nature; they have seen it all; they can not be fooled]
    I told her that the shock of the end of a dream put them in touch with truth, and telling the truth made them drop masks and be free.

    As Valentine Day approaches and our "couples" society ,and even church, adores couples, whole families, these folks go into pain mode annually.
    I gave permission for many to call if they needed. (I could hear back then).
    One called me at 2 am. I knew by Caller ID who was calling.
    Two full minutes of silence continued to pass, neither of us getting past my initial "Hello?".
    Finally, she spoke saying: "HE is with someone tonight. I have no one. I was alone. I just needed to know someone was there for me too".
    "Are you okay now", I asked.
    "I'm okay now. Thanks. G'nite".

    When I was able to hear, there was silence that spoke volumes.
    When I went deaf, the silence spoke more.
    Perhaps that is why God chooses to use the silence to talk to US, so often.

    My dentist assistant put me in a chair, put a bib on, got the records out, and said "He will be right in".
    The dentist was playing the cubicle dance from patient to patient, instead of doing one until done.
    I got antsy sitting too long and walked around the room.
    I came to a calendar on the wall all animal pictures.


  7. the rest....

    A polar bear was standing alone on the edge of a massive ice flow. His feet were lapped in ice water as small, frigid waves crashed to the ice.
    Dark storm clouds in the distance were ominous that the weather would be horrible soon.
    The bear's eyes peered deep and far away. There was nothing to see. No penguin, fish, seal, nothing! He was alone, and it would get worse.
    It was titled "LONELINESS"
    At the base was a definition.
    "LONELINESS is an awareness from God, that HE longs to be in fellowship with us, as WE long to be in fellowship with one another"

    I did not realize how much time had passed, me staring at the bear,..... who was me.
    My dentist walked in, and stood at the door, observing me, observing the bear. He waited,..... I later learned.

    "Do you like that calendar, Keystone?"
    "I nodded a "Yes".
    "Why don't you take the calendar off the wall and take it home", he told me.
    In that instant, LONELINESS left.

    Someday, I will speak of the other 11 animals on that calendar.

    For now, just know you are never alone.
    And a few kind words from our God to you:

    "The LORD your God is with Rosel,
    he is mighty to save.
    He will take great delight in Rosel,
    he will quiet Rosel with his love,
    he will rejoice over Rosel with singing.”

    ~~~ Rosel 3:17 [found in Zephaniah 3:17, but changes by name of the person HE sings over]

    When HE is done singing over you, I look forward to reading the victory you note above!
    God bless you abundantly!

    1. Your visits may not be all the time but I certainly treasure as I know that friends' visits here are also not by chance...

      How special you have many sisters who are nurses. I'm sure you hear their ups and downs from the struggles we all face to help out patients in need. Initially, I wanted to be an architect. But God brought me to Nursing. It takes a lot of understanding, patience, and skills to be able to discern and be of help toward a person's healing. It's sad when I see others want to be a nurse just because they hear of the potential great income. In reality, the patients' overall needs placed upon our caring hands sometimes dance between life and death.

      I learned so much from Nursing. God granted me my desire to become an architect through Nursing. He allowed me to build the things that needed to be stored in my heart and to destroy those that would ruin it. Because of His grace, love, mercy, and compassion that I had tasted, it meant more to be able to serve because of Him, spilling His compassion and love towards others who are lost...Lost like me once.

      Before I got to the very bottom of your reference to Zephaniah, that was what I was thinking...Because I had read and loved this promise so much knowing how true and faithful our God was and will always be!

      Thank you again Keystone...Lookin' forward to hearing about the other 11 animals...and their significance with your walk as you follow Him...God bless and be strong in the Lord's mighty power!

    2. BTW, I looked up the ASL gesture in the Internet. You're right! How beautiful the sign language is re: "heaven" and/or "Holy Spirit!" I only had one word observing the sign...


      What are we to do without God's grace?

    3. Many use ASL PRO to learn sign language online. I like Signing Savvy better. They provide many forms, just as we have dialects from Boston, or down South, Sign folks do too. It surprised me when I signed "Sunday" to a person in Pennsylvania, and they lived 100 miles away and thought I signed "Take out the garbage". It is a dialect difference; one I did not know.

      Signing Savvy has a section called Religious Words, and shows several versions too.
      Their last option is to "finger-spell", the word using the alphabet.

      Holy Spirit IS two words in sign. "Holy" is the letter "H"----your right hand, middle and index pointing outward, while using your left hand as a platform, palm up....you move the "H" from back of palm to front, then lift upward, and this is the word "Holy".

      Spirit is close to "heaven" and reminds me of lacing shoes, but you use BOTH hands and interlace them, back and forth with palms down, and move upward all the time......like smoke drifting to heaven.

      And I delight at your GRACE!
      There, you reach up to heaven, grab a handful of His light, turn it to you, and spotlight that as your hand springs open upon your head.....GRACE!

      Last year, a tree went into my hand, and I did not get it all out. My index and thumb turned purple and I was operated on twice in 2 days, then more by four doctors. One proposed they cut the thumb and index off! He claimed they were dead. I got another opinion immediately from a gal surgeon, who took the time to hear me explain:
      "I just learned ASL on my right hand and if you chop those digits off, I can't talk!"

      Rosel,...she saved them BOTH. It took two months and then massage therapy to get the graft lumps out, but it was a real miracle.
      I can talk with my hand again!

      I have been learning the history of word derivative from some American Indians I met.
      It is astonishing to hear the background, as the Indians had a Holy Nature about them anyway.

      In Israel, everyone talked Hebrew.
      In Jordan, it was all Arabic.
      I can not read lips in either, and relied on one sister to tell me what was going on.
      Then, we came to Petra, Jordan....home of the Nabateans long ago, and in Revelations, a final impact point.
      It is so far to the Treasury, we rode horses half way down, walked the rest and the small water-made canyon opened into a massive Treasury entrance that filled the sky. It is online I am sure.

      Walking back up, my sisters constantly pulled me to the side of the narrow carved in rock walkway. Folks with money rode in chariots and they moved at a good clip. My sisters could hear them far off and I could not. More than once, a quick shove to the rock wall saved me from trampling. I learned to walk by the wall.

      Half way up, six beautiful, wrapped in colorful garb, women were talking. They were college students and all you could see was their faces.
      Kicker for me...they were talking as Jordanian students, and using American Sign Language! They were the first people I could talk to in a week. We gabbed in ASL for 45 minutes with each telling me of their hometown, university, what they studied (lot of chemical engineers and architects). Seven of my 10 siblings traveled the Holy Land for three weeks and at this point, they were all in awe as I spoke with these young women. All of these girls gave me their email and asked for mine, but I was not sure of the wisdom of email exchange to that area, in these times since 9/11. But my sisters and brother snapped hundreds of pictures as it was a sight for them to see me communicate with 6 gals in flourescent garb from head to toe.

      The other 11 animals will show up on an appropriate post. Our God knows when you need each and will tell me.
      Blessings Rosel!

      Ps. I get a sense as I read you talk out your problem that it is a relief to voice it finally here.
      Sort of like when we gabbed at the Glass House long ago.

    4. Hubby gave me the 3rd guitar in 2004. Not that I am a great guitarist but I learned the chords on my own and when the Lord found me, was able to compose songs for Him and put notes using my guitar. One brother asked me if I named my guitar yet...Hmmm...I told him the most appropriate name would be....
      "GRACE..." and a song was born...with the Chorus part:

      Your grace...raining down on me
      Full of Your love and mercy
      Your grace...and it's free
      But the cost was priceless...that saved me...

      My right hand got so tired plucking the strings but my heart insisted otherwise...Nothing...nothing from our part could ever repay His grace and mercy!

      How interesting to know that even with sign language, there are different dialects! See! I learn something from you again. Thanks...

      I'm glad that doc was able to save your hands! But like you, I believe that was a miracle from the Best Healer!

      That must be exciting to be able to communicate to those women and found a common language with them. But you did the right thing of being cautious at the same time. Even our enemy appears as "light".

      No doubt, I know that God will put it in your heart when the right time is to share the other animals you mentioned. Not only to me but to those who need to hear it.

      Yes, it's awesome to be able to vent out through writing...But at the same time, I'm praying that others will be encouraged as we all struggle in this journey. Most of all, my delight if people will come to know God's goodness as they visit me here. I miss sister Cynthia and her posts. I was encouraged so much at the Glass House. Thanks for your footprints here...God bless.

  8. Reading this all I can think is but the for grace of God go any of us. We're all fallen.....and thank God of Grace that restores each one of us. I think that's what you showed to this woman....grace. I'm glad you're there...a light shining in the dark.

    1. So thankful for His love, mercy, and grace! Amen!

  9. I know that you are a blessing to those in prison. Praying for God's wisdom, guidance and victory for you. Blessings and Hugs

    1. I can only hope and pray. Thanks sister Cathy...I love being prayed for because I need it!!!Thank you so much! God bless.

  10. Thank God for His Word. it is our greatest weapon. Thanks for the reminder.

  11. Glory be to God! Praying all is well with you sister Peggy. Praying for your healing. God bless.

  12. Awesome post dear Rosel. If we did not have the Word of God to combat the enemy why bother living. Blessings to you dear one.

    1. Our sWORD....His Word! Glory be to God!


"Faith is taking the first step even if you don't see the whole staircase..."
~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

All posts/composed songs copyright by RCUBEs.