I'm Truly Fine

One of the supervisors has not seen me for a while as I was put on a forced leave, then was changed into a position that meant just being “an extra help” when there would be a need in the prison staff.

“How are you?” she asked me when I already had greeted her when she was getting a report from another supervisor who loved to intimidate those weaker ones and was responded with coldly.

But I never let those responses bother me anymore knowing that I didn’t lose anything by greeting them and trying to pay respect for their ill behaviors.

“I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?”

So simple of a question but that kind of question penetrated my heart and my mind with a searing pain knowing that she wanted a different response from me. She wanted to know if I was suffering after I started my battle with them.

“Lord, help me…” I softly whispered as my lips opened and closed, not obvious to the people working with me that day.

Her question could have easily toppled me and could have added insult to an already huge injury they inflicted deep within me. I had been remaining quiet, hoarding a stash of physical and spiritual weapons they didn’t know I had.

But I must admit….her intimidating question bothered me. Day. After. Day.  Why?

Because it was the same tactic that our spiritual enemies always used:


It sounded like she was concerned for me when deep inside she was not… That was the reason anyway why I was battling these people in power. They never cared to know the truth and depended on their own wisdom.

“And no wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light.”-2 Cor.11:14 (ESV)

But the reasoning of this proud world…the foolish wisdom it knows…exalting itself…These would be the same reasons that would make itself crumble down…for it never sees the Light of the World, His wisdom and thoughts that are truly higher than ours...Power or force would never mean anything to God. A clear conscience, humbleness and knowing and accepting the truth that He is the only Truth, the only Way and the only Life is what matters…A life dedicated to follow Christ’s footsteps might seem feeble to this world yet in reality was mighty because of what Christ had already done on the cross!

“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” – 2 Cor. 10:5 (NIV)

Because of Christ, no matter what happens around me, I have this hope that never perishes.

“There are so many, countless things in my life that are far more worth than even worrying about this battle I’m in…” I thought to myself. “And I’m so grateful….” “So grateful…”

11 Furthermore, because we are united with Christ, we have received an inheritance from God, for he chose us in advance, and he makes everything work out according to his plan. 12 God’s purpose was that we Jews who were the first to trust in Christ would bring praise and glory to God. 13 And now you Gentiles have also heard the truth, the Good News that God saves you. And when you believed in Christ, he identified you as his own by giving you the Holy Spirit, whom he promised long ago. 14 The Spirit is God’s guarantee that he will give us the inheritance he promised and that he has purchased us to be his own people. He did this so we would praise and glorify him.” – Ephesians 1:11-14 (NLT)

“Yes, I’m truly fine…” I uttered firmly. She remained quiet after that…

By the way, thank you friends for keeping me in your prayers. The battle is still going on but it is the Lord Who comforts me and strengthens me. I know that He is always in control no matter what they plan. So, all the praise and glory to the One Who deserves it all! Love you all in Christ.


  1. Ah Rosel, Always bringing tears to my eyes. I know that you are still in the midst of the battle and that it is far from over and will only be over when the Lord declares. I pray strength on your shoulders and mind. I pray words of our Father into your lips. I pray healing into your heart. You are so loved by me. You are so precious to me.

  2. It is a bitter pill the adversary would have us swallow - - as if a sweet tonic. You are wise to be wise, alert, prepared to stand tall & firm. I've no doubt you're all right, fine - - you ARE more than a conqueror!

  3. you are amazingly strong....I'm so inspired by your faith. And Rosel....He's there...in your corner...always. And me too....☺☺

  4. Hi -

    I'm so encouraged with how you express how our Lord enables you to continue in HIM with joy and love.

    Thank you so much for loving GOD and for being a vessel of honor for HIS awesome glory.


  5. I admire your courage and your faith.

  6. You are a blessing, and with each post you write, I sense you getting stronger, more determined to see this battle through.

    In everything giving thanks... yes... giving thanks.

    There are indeed so many things to be thankful for.

    I loved the video you shared.

    Much love to you today, dear Rosel.



"Faith is taking the first step even if you don't see the whole staircase..."
~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

All posts/composed songs copyright by RCUBEs.


The Attacker (5/15/09)

The sun was just peeking from the Eastern skies. Ephesians 6:12 [37 kb]

Out in the prison’s yard, some huge Sheriff’s buses were illuminated by the soft glow coming from the lights all over from the tall lamp posts. Their engines were turned on, warming up, before the buses would take the inmates to the different courts where they would have their trials.

Orange-uniformed men were lined up in pairs, joined together with handcuffs and chained, forming a long line. They already had their breakfast and had their morning medications prior to going to courts. Some were fidgeting, as they waited to board those buses.

All of a sudden, all hell broke loose! Two men were engaged in a fight, using weapons they made secretly for a while. Deputies called for help on the radio, both for custody back-up and medical staff, as well.

When the air was cleared and the other inmates were secured, one man was down on the floor. He sustained multiple gashes but two of them were deep. One cut was vertically etched from his left ear going down to the jaw line. The other dangerous cut was horizontal on his left neck, close to the jugular vein. Pool of blood dripped all over the floor. Holding his bleeding neck, he was pointing at the other inmate few feet away, being guarded by the other deputies.

The other man being accused was not hurt. There were no lacerations nor any other signs of trauma. He was obviously very agitated as he was being questioned by those deputies, while the medical staff started treating the other man on the floor. They cleaned the wounds and controlled the bleeding. That man was sent to the nearby hospital.

When the investigation was finalized, it turned out to be that the “downed man who was accusing the other inmate” was the attacker and the other one who didn’t have injury was the one attacked. The deputies found out that it was the second attempt to attack the unhurt man. Both attacks on him failed. He was well-prepared after the first attempt on him, that when the second attempt was done, he was able to defend himself and ended up injuring his attacker severely.

[Source: NLT Bible ]:

We also have an “accuser of the brethren.” Satan and his army of demons are the enemies of God and of everything good.

“Because God’s children are human beings – made of flesh and blood – Jesus also became flesh and blood by being born in human form. For only as a human being could he die, and only by dying could he break the power of the Devil, who had the power of death.” –Hebrews 2:14

Because of what Jesus had done [dying on the cross], we, who live in constant fear of death shouldn’t be afraid anymore. Jesus had freed us from that fear so we can live for Him. When we belong to God, we know that death is only the portal that leads into “eternal life”. [“Thank You Lord!].

Paul warned us, too that we also battle against the evil forces of Satan, who is a vicious fighter. But to be able to withstand their attacks, we must depend on God’s strength and use every piece of His armor. We face an army whose goal is to defeat Christ’s church. When we believe in Christ, they become our enemies. They will try any device to turn us away from the Lord.

Fear not! For God has provided His supernatural power to defeat Satan and his army, through His Holy Spirit within us. So, arm yourselves with God’s armor.

Let us be strong in the Lord's mighty power. Let's put on His whole armor to resist the enemy's attacks: put on the sturdy belt of truth and the body armor of God's righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News, so that we are well-prepared. We will need faith in every battle as our shield to stop the fiery arrows aimed by Satan and his army. Let us put on salvation as our helmet, not forgetting the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. Let's pray at all times, on every occasion in the power of the Holy Spirit. We must stay alert and be persistent in our prayers for all Christians everywhere. [Ephesians 6:10-18].