Only The Tip Of His Iceberg

“ ¹ The Lord says, "All you who are thirsty,
       come and drink.
    Those of you who do not have money,
       come, buy and eat!
    Come buy wine and milk
       without money and without cost.
 ² Why spend your money on something that is not real food?
       Why work for something that doesn't really satisfy you?
    Listen closely to me, and you will eat what is good;
       your soul will enjoy the rich food that satisfies.
 ³ Come to me and listen;
       listen to me so you may live.” – Isaiah 55:1-3 (NCV)

“Daddy, please turn up the volume more,” I requested as we played one of my favorite songs in our car, my son driving for us so we could go to our church’s earliest fellowship.

I looked through the tinted window  and saw the dark clouds ready to drop its carried weight of  precipitation.

Down below, I saw the dry ground, so dry that everything below that cloud was in grave need of being watered. I wondered how receptive the trees’ roots would be once those clouds release the much needed drops of water down below.

As my son carefully veered the car to the left, about to enter the parking lot in our church, there it was:  the big, white cross they had placed in front of the church.

It had remained unchanged despite the passing of seasons. The symbol of what Jesus had done to save all sinners like me. He died with open arms, always ready to receive anyone who is willing to acknowledge His sacrifice. The Living Water Who is able to quench anyone’s thirst.  The Living Water that is always available and is ready to be poured out to a thirsty heart.

And I wonder…how receptive is your heart to Jesus’ pouring of mercy and grace?

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Jesus is everything for me. He completely satisfies all of our needs. To think that I have only seen the tip of an iceberg about Him...To realize that I have only heard the faintest whispers about His great work...

“No eye has fully seen, how beautiful the cross
And we have only heard
The faintest whispers of how great You are…”

                - lyrics from “Wonderful Maker” by Chris Tomlin

Standing...Hoping...Waiting...

I knew the silence from my enemies at work did not mean they had ceased their evil plans. I knew they were active trying their best to make me quit from my job.

“Rcubes,” every one had a concerned look when they saw me after a month leave at work and they were surprised to see me working with the PM shift last Thursday, after working nights for so many years.

“Are you okay?” as some of them had welcomed me back with wide, open arms and sadness with their expressions.

“Fight, Rcubes, you must fight,” one stated as he saw me for the first time last night. “They got so used to people quitting when they were being given a hard time. There was no reason for you to go through this,” he added.

The following day, another devised scheme was given by handing me a written memo. But I already foresaw this to happen, by the grace of God. If the enemies thought that their new tactic to scare me would work, they were wrong.

I knew very well since this battle at work started that it wasn’t from God. Persecution comes from our spiritual enemy, not from God. Through this difficult time, my faith has been increased, knowing that no matter what the outcome is, I know my future is secure in Christ.

“Don’t be afraid of what you are about to suffer. The Devil will throw some of you into the prison and put you to the test. You will be persecuted for ‘ten days’. Remain faithful even when facing death, and I will give you the crown of life.” – Revelation 2:10 (NLT)

I looked around to see who among my co-workers were rooting for me. True enough, those faces were the ones who had learned to endure because they were the same ones who walked in this difficult journey I had been walking on. Many had quit. Only a few remained. But those “few” overcame because they stood firm on their ground.

And that is my sole intention: to remain standing firm and wait as He battles for me, knowing that no matter what the outcome is, I still have the victory.

“10 A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. 12 For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.” – Ephesians 6:10-12 (NLT)

When Facing The Fires

The alarming sound pierced our ears as my husband got up from the computer chair so fast, my son running towards the smoke detector to check it out and myself, sprung up from the couch as I was watching an evening show.

We ran everywhere to check out if there was any smoke. I loved to light up tea lights and a candle was always burning inside the fireplace. My husband puffed some air and quenched the candle in the fireplace.

“You don’t think it caused the detector to alarm, right?”

“I mean, c’mon, you know I always had candles burning 24/7 there and it was so far from the detectors. Plus, the vent was open anyway.”I explained.

The shrieking alarms sounded for almost 4 seconds then died down.

“Hmmm…That was weird,” we all agreed. There was no smoke. There was nothing that was giving off some heat.

“Oh, well,” my husband uttered. “Buy some batteries tomorrow if you can so I’ll go ahead and replace them.”

The alarm was loud but short yet, enough to make us, three, wary. What a relief to know that there was no fire inside the house!

What a truth that applies to our spiritual lives, too! Of how we must be always wary knowing that the spiritual battle is real as we surrender our hearts to Christ. Yet, when facing adversities or feeling the massive heat from the fiery trials, we must not fear. Christ promised that He will be there as we go through all these trials.

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“24 Then King Nebuchadnezzar was astonished and rose up in haste. He declared to his counselors, “Did we not cast three men bound into the fire?” They answered and said to the king, “True, O king.” 25 He answered and said, “But I see four men unbound, walking in the midst of the fire, and they are not hurt; and the appearance of the fourth is like a son of the gods.”

26 Then Nebuchadnezzar came near to the door of the burning fiery furnace; he declared, “Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, servants of the Most High God, come out, and come here!” Then Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego came out from the fire. 27 And the satraps, the prefects, the governors, and the king's counselors gathered together and saw that the fire had not had any power over the bodies of those men. The hair of their heads was not singed, their cloaks were not harmed, and no smell of fire had come upon them. 28 Nebuchadnezzar answered and said, “Blessed be the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, who has sent his angel and delivered his servants, who trusted in him, and set aside the king's command, and yielded up their bodies rather than serve and worship any god except their own God. 29 Therefore I make a decree: Any people, nation, or language that speaks anything against the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego shall be torn limb from limb, and their houses laid in ruins, for there is no other god who is able to rescue in this way.” 30 Then the king promoted Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in the province of Babylon.” – Daniel 3:24-30 (ESV) - emphasis was mine...

These three friends were pressured to deny God, but they chose to remain faithful to Him no matter what, even if it meant to face death. They trusted that God would deliver them yet still chose to trust no matter what occurred.


As I go through a tough battle at work and here I am going back this Thursday to face the same people who love to give me a hard time, God reminds me that He is with me all the way through from this passage from Daniel. He knows that I have been praying for a quick escape, even if it means Him returning “now!” But I must learn to trust in Him and in His plans for me. If He always rescues those who are true to Him, then believers don’t need to have faith. Many selfish people will sign up to be followers if that’s the case. God is working in me, letting me know that I must continue to remain faithful (as He is with me and you…) whether He intervenes or not. What awaits in the future is worth any suffering we have to endure. Glory be to God! Thank You Lord for being there for us during our fiercest battles.

Oh Lord, please forgive me for those times that I even want the things to happen my way, my time. You are Sovereign Oh Lord. Please empty me and fill me with Your Holy Spirit. I surrender everything to You Oh Lord. May Your will be done. I have everything because of You. Thank You Lord for Your love, mercy and grace. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

The Graveyard

^“10then know this, you and all the people of Israel: It is by the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, whom you crucified but whom God raised from the dead, that this man stands before you healed. ¹¹ Jesus is “‘the stone you builders rejected, which has become the cornerstone.’¹² Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to mankind by which we must be saved.” – Acts 4:10-12 (NIV)

The hot sun was suddenly covered by grayish clouds as my scissor glistened from my first aid kit in the car. My friend and her mother were waiting for me on a slight slope where her sister was buried. The flowers we bought before heading to the cemetery were so colorful in contrast to the gloomy skies that hovered above us.

“You know I don’t cry easily but something hit me as we were making that turn down below the hill,” I softly whispered to my friend.

flowers for a special someone

“Oh my,” she exclaimed.

“Look at all these new markers. So many have been buried here already in a short span of time,” she uttered.

Some of the grave markers had pictures of their loved ones who passed away. One with poem dedicated to a “beautiful wife.” The lines filled with love and longing for what was lost down here. Most of them had flowers, some with metal art like birds or butterflies. On one side, one had small and big pinwheels, dancing with the occasional gusts of wind but actually scared some birds wanting to devour the petals from those beautiful flowers.

“Is this good enough?” I looked up to my friend and her mother as I tried to cut the stalks with my bandage scissor I always kept in the car.

As we arranged the stalks, tears poured from a mother who had lost her child almost 12 years ago. I couldn’t imagine the wound in her heart. All I could do was just to pray for her healing and comfort. Same for my friend.

The markers were so many, same level with the green grass that was beautifully cared for. Most of them were “Christians.” But something was eating in my heart. I knew then why I cried.

It was because seeing so many “Christians” in that graveyard, I wondered if they thought they lived so God could accept them?…Or did they know that they lived because God had accepted them in Christ?

Yes, I mourned, too….For those lives who tried to earn God’s love than freely accepted it. I knew I cried because I wondered how many lived only by what they felt God wanted. I was hurting for those who had human traditions and their standards added to God’s law.

We all came from dust  and to dust we will all return. We all came here with the same conditions: sinners. The end of the journey will matter. Because only those who choose to walk in the narrow pathway will find the abundant life that lasts forever. That is the only way, the only truth, and the only life...

J...E...S...U...S...

"LORD, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered--how fleeting my life is.” – Psalm 39:4 (NLT)

How Do You Shield Your Child From Pain?

How do you shield your children from getting hurt? From all the pain or trials that are to come their ways?

The other night, my son and his tennis team had their dinner after the matches were over. I didn’t go same with his dad as my husband had been so tired, having a special operation at his work these past few days. We wanted him to enjoy his time with his friends and the team so we told him he could go. He was excited.

Not the same expression when I was picking him up. He was quiet and looked visibly with a combo of “being hurt and upset.”

I hugged him when we got home. A nudge through this act to make him vent out. He sensed it.

Tears started staining his cheeks and softly he whispered to me, “Mom, how could my name be missed? Every one was up there already as their names and certificates were given except for me. When the coach said that those players were the team, I had to raise my hand as my friends were looking at my direction, too, wondering why I wasn’t called.”

“And?”

“He apologized and called me after I raised my hand. But I felt so left out. I guess I was just wondering how I could be forgotten when I was visibly there.”

I joined his tears with mine, consoling his wounded heart. I had no words at that moment but wanted to let his heart be poured out. Only then I knew that through those tears he was shedding, he would be able to release the hurt.

“This won’t be the first nor this would be the last,” I told him as I hugged him tighter.

“Maybe it wasn’t intentional. But you must learn to forgive. Through this painful situation, you would be able to see who was truly there for you or not.”

He hugged me and his father back and whispered, “I love you.” I saw a faint smile appeared.

"Don't let the spiritual enemy steal your joy," I reminded him. The more he smiled.

How do you shield your child from inevitable pain and trials of this life? How do you shield your child from all the ridicules, the rejections, from those who would want to see them hurt? I asked God that…

This was His answer:

“You can’t.”

“You just need to trust Me and pray for them. Always.”

“Isn’t that My will for all of you, My children?”

“To be prayerful. To remain joyful. And to always give thanks.”

“Remember when I also gave My own Son? So you can be saved. I have given Him up instead of shielding Him from the hurt and pain, knowing that’s the only way to restore your relationship with Me.”

Continuing to reflect, I sensed that true believers’ journeys were never known. True Christians’ lives were never remembered because the only footprints they left were not theirs. It was of God’s. They would never claim any glory but glory that belonged to God alone.

There is no option but to face the pain. There is no other way but to face any trial. That is the only way to overcome and survive. That is the only way to endure. God is the Shield. God is the protection. If we are willing broken vessels to be used for Him, we are bound to get hurt. We are bound to suffer. The way Christ did...We just need to keep walking with Him until we finish this journey and the work He started in each children’s heart.

^"18 “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. ¹⁹ If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. ²⁰ Remember what I told you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master. If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also. ²¹ They will treat you this way because of my name, for they do not know the one who sent me." 
- John 15:18-21 (NIV)

Just Doing A Duty

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I miss my work as I had been off to give myself some time away from all the hard times some people were treating me with. The problem at my workplace is never about work. It is always easy. The problem is always about the people there, clashing with personalities. Self-interests are proudly displayed. Vanities and personal assets are more valued. Gossip is always ever growing more like cancer cells. Positions and power are coveted in order to be respected.  Secret relationships thrive and love, even when it is the wrong kind, is boldly expressed among some of them.

After working in the prison system for many years, despite the condition, I have learned to adapt to it. This is the place where spiritually, I have grown. When God brought me here, it became one of tangible evidence of His presence in my life, knowing I wouldn’t be able to survive in this place without His help nor guidance and protection. Spiritually, many evil spirits are in this place: murder, lust, lying, fear, religiosity, pride and many other that are detestable to God.

As my battle with some people started, I never feared knowing the position I’m in because of what God has done. We all are winners if we have allowed Jesus to have a home in our hearts. And that is our duty as believers: to remain standing despite the evil days knowing that it is not our own effort that saves us. It is what Jesus had done for us. We are redeemed!!!

“When he had received the drink, Jesus said, "It is finished." With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.” –John 19:30 (NIV)

As I wait patiently for the Lord and His perfect timing, I am learning to reflect on so many things. Aside from Him taking me away from a particular group that does things that will never be beneficial to my spirit life, He is allowing me to nurse my own wound. He is making me learn to try to forgive no matter how deep the wound they create in my heart. Only then, I will be able to help others (inmates or co-workers)’ wounded hearts more effectively if I let my own wounds heal first. Healed by His love.

The truth is….we, as Christians never stop working daily. We have a duty to defend what we believe in. We must always be ready to defend our faith when we are mingling with those who don’t know Jesus.

“Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear their threats; do not be frightened.” But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect,  keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.  For it is better, if it is God’s will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil.  For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive in the Spirit.” – 1 Peter 3:13-18 (NIV)

Beautiful Feet

^"12 When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. “Do you understand what I have done for you?” he asked them. ¹³ “You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and rightly so, for that is what I am. ¹⁴ Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. ¹⁵ I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. ¹⁶ Very truly I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. ¹⁷ Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them." - John 13:12-17 (NIV)

I woke up all of a sudden at 1:00a.m. “Feet…” That was what came to a barely awoke mind. As some of you know, I had been going through a tough battle at work where people in positions wanted me out. Except, I knew the legal system and whether with man’s law and definitely with God’s law, I knew something was being violated from the start.

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I had been working part-time, night shifts for so many years. Trying desperately to make me quit, they seemed to be running out of schemes to give me a hard time in all areas. When I had emailed and had asked for my schedule, they moved me from being a night shift nurse to PM shift nurse, after days old of being just told that I was to be on an “off-duty” status. This was a threat that didn’t work.

As I reflected on the Lord’s Word this morning, He reminded me during this waiting period that I had been working with a specific crew at night that had been filled with so many detestable things. I never participated in their evil doings except maybe a few times, when it came to “joking around” that I knew was not pleasing to the Lord. This morning, He reminded me of that need that in my spiritual walk, I needed to surrender my “feet” and be washed by Him. Not just this morning, but daily.

“Lord, why are you going to wash my feet?” asked Simon Peter (John 13:6)

Jesus replied, “You don’t understand now why I am doing it; someday you will.” (John 13:7)

“No,” Peter protested, “You will never wash my feet!” (John 13:8)

Jesus replied, “But if I don’t wash you, you won’t belong to me.” (John 13:8)

Simon Peter exclaimed, “Then wash my hands and head as well, Lord, not just my feet!” (John 13:9)

Jesus replied, “A person who has bathed all over does not need to wash, except for the feet, to be entirely clean. And you are clean, but that isn’t true of everyone here.” (John 13:10)

Oh, how true with our spiritual walk that despite us being saved by Jesus, our feet still get smudged by the dirt of this world! How much we need for our feet to be cleansed by our Savior daily if we are willing to follow His example! Walking with Jesus in this faith journey we’re all in becomes more meaningful only if we include Him in our spiritual walks. Our missions are useless without Him. Our servant attitude is not a blessing if we are the ones glorified.

I am thankful that with the supervisors’ harmful intentions for me is actually beneficial as I’m being pulled away from bad influences, for how long is up to the Lord.

^“16 There are six things the LORD hates, seven that are detestable to him:  ¹⁷ haughty eyes,  a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, ¹⁸ a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil,  ¹⁹ a false witness who pours out lies and a person who stirs up conflict in the community.”

~ Proverbs 6:16-19 (NIV)

Oh Lord, thank You for always convicting our hearts. Thank You for showing You are very much in control of everything that goes on in our lives. Thank You Lord for Your direction and discernment through Your Word. Your Word that lasts forever. Thank You Lord for reminding me to repent daily and be cleansed by You. I want to have beautiful feet Lord but I can only achieve that with Your power working in me. Please fill us Lord with Your Holy Spirit and help us to live holy lives because You are a Holy God. I love you Lord. In Jesus' Name. Amen.


How about your feet? Are they following Jesus' walk in this narrow path? 

Anguish

"My soul is in anguish. How long, O LORD, how long?" - Psalm 6:3 (NIV)

I emailed my supervisor and the person who coordinates the schedule of the whole staff yesterday morning. I had taken a month off from work after so much harassment done. I felt I was like a puppet with them controlling the strings. Deep inside, I knew no one else held those strings but only One from the start. And if He controlled my life, it was because He only wanted what was best for me.

Yes, I anguish…Not because of this battle I had been going through against people in positions knowing that what they all did from the start was not right yet that was not enough to paralyze me. I anguish about the lies. I anguish about the abuse in their power. I anguish about the blind eyes that choose to find any negatives instead of reinforcing the positives. I anguish about the deaf ears that are not willing to listen to the truth. I anguish about the hunger for worldly power and selfish desires. I anguish about worldly wisdom that is foolish. I anguish about hearts full of pride, the self seeking ways, the rejection of those who are not willing to obey their hideous decisions. I anguish about their feet that are quick to commit evil acts.

But as I try to rest on the Lord’s wonderful promises, away from my work, only in Him I can find true comfort, contentment, happiness and joy and immense solace.

The Proverbs 31 Woman In My Life

"She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable,and her lamp does not go out at night.In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy." -Proverbs 31:17-20 (NIV)

Getting up each day before the sun rose, she would carefully lay out the material on the table and after drawing her pattern for that specific dress, she traced the lines precisely with her long-time trusted scissors. Her husband being away as he sailed other parts of the world, she became both the father and mother during those times. By sewing dresses and other things to wear, that was how she was able to help her husband with the family's financial needs. Her customers, barely picking up the finished dresses, were already giving her more materials for her to do. I never heard any complaints but all praises for her work.

I remembered seeing her cooking in between doing the trade she mastered. Good aromas from her food filled the small kitchen that fed six growing up children. Late at night, wearily, she retired to bed without any complaints, only to do the same things the following day. The more hunger she had to keep herself even busier to sustain her family’s needs. Her priority was for her children to finish their education.

I had seen her tears shed during the darkest of the nights and as she tried to face the toughest storms of life that she had to endure, minus my father’s physical help, I had seen her strengthened by her faith in God and her pleas for God’s mercy and help, instead. To the wooden pews in the church, she was quick to bend her knees and as she bowed her head, it seemed it took forever the way she uttered her prayers. I never understood it back then “why”…but at the latter years, I knew she interceded for each of her children.

My mother loved to help out others. She brought her home cooked meals to sick relatives, even to those who hurt her constantly and had said lies about her, she paid them back with what she could offer: her love and passion for cooking.

When she passed away, I couldn’t even ascend the stairs when I got home after 13 hours of flying. That was the only time I didn’t want to rush entering her house. Literally and figuratively, I had learned that day that we truly lost the “light of our home.”

I heard people whispered how some made fun of her as she shook people’s hands in the church as she took time with those she knew and she didn’t know. But when she died, everyone missed that gesture.

She was the biggest loss in my father’s and her children’s lives and we knew at that moment, no other could ever fill the hole she left in our hearts.

I know I could never be like my mother with those strong qualities she possessed: industrious, has strong integrity, very resourceful, and has strong faith in God. But she remains to be my inspiration, day after day. Successful or not, strong or weak, accomplished or not, I know she would always be proud of me and her other children no matter what.

She is that kind of mother who always believes in her children’s best after all. I love you mom, the Proverbs 31 woman in my life. I miss you more than ever!

"She is clothed with strength and dignity;she can laugh at the days to come.She speaks with wisdom,and faithful instruction is on her tongue.She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.Her children arise and call her blessed;her husband also, and he praises her:“Many women do noble things,but you surpass them all.”Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised." - Proverbs 31:25-30 (NIV)


Happy Mother's Day to you, mothers out there. And to you who have a heart like that of a mother's. Thank You God for giving us "mothers."

Through Losses And Tears

“We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps.” – Proverbs 16:9 (NLT)

“Kristian, think carefully about next year,” stated my husband to my son.

“You might have to quit playing tennis as your mom’s schedule is so unstable at this time,” he added.

“Okay, Dad,” my son quietly replied. But I saw the forming sadness on his face.

“It’s still early to decide,” I answered.

“I’m sure we’ll find a way.”

I have been volunteering to bring some players in our car, along with my son when they have tennis matches away from their school. Not only I enjoy it, but I enjoy spending quality time with my son and I want him to know that whether he wins or lose, I would be there for him.

“If you want to do something, don’t let an opportunity go by without you taking a chance or risking to do it even if it means you’ll fail,” I remember telling him long time ago.

That statement drove me to bring my husband to a private conversation and reminded him how the enemies love to only “seek, kill, and destroy.” That no matter how much we plan, we need to commit everything with the Lord. And that no matter how many times we plan, the truth is He is the only One Who directs a man’s step.

“Even if he had lost many times from his previous matches, that should not discourage him to stop playing. Even if they’re harassing me at work, that shouldn’t stop him from doing something he loves.” We both agreed. “Because through losses, that will build up his character and test his faith.”

“It’s not only about our son,” I told my husband. “I truly enjoy being there for the team because they’re like a family, too.” “It relaxes my mind now that I’m going through a tough battle at work. It makes me forget what I have to go through.”

Yesterday was a sudden change in the weather as we headed out to another highschool. It was too hot. But the team won! And my son won 3 out of 3 matches, with his doubles partner.

“That’s what it is, Kristian. Thank the Lord for the opportunity of having this and thank Him that through your losses, you learned not to quit.”

I should know…Because through my tears, I found comfort at His feet.

How will we know how to heal if we’re not wounded? How will we know what rest means if we’re never doing something? How will we know how to get up if we’ve never fallen? How will we know that there is something of greater  worth to come if we become satisfied with the things of this world?

May you feel God's love renew your Spirit as you listen to this song. And if you don't believe in God, I pray that your heart will take some moment to truly listen to His Voice calling you to return to Him. God bless you all.