“What’s the purpose of you asking that arrestee to lift up his shirt on the front and back and the pant legs?” asked a curious deputy working with me that night at the prison’s Intake. He was baffled that I did that though the man caught using marijuana denied any medical or mental history.
“It just became my habit,” I replied. “Most of them deny any vices. But from the past, when I asked some of them to do that, I usually found some needle tracks because some of them were using heroin.”
“That made sense,” replied the deputy with a smile. He started to walk away from my tiny clinic and never questioned me since. He just observed and trusted my ways of probing the newly-arrived arrestees, knowing that at times, I was using my instinct. [Spiritually, I call it ‘discernment’ from the Lord that I always ask for…].
And it wasn’t easy. Every time. To know that some of them were only telling half of the truth. To cover their crimes. Thinking that the cops would use their answers to press more charges.
“Tell me the truth,” I often uttered. “The cops who arrested you won’t use your answers against you. The info would be for the medical staff. So that if you ever go into withdrawal from using drugs or alcohol, we would know what to do right away to help you out,” I explained.
Some would obey. Some would remain hesitant because of fear. Some remained upset that they were being questioned in the first place. They would get up. Often with pride. And denial. Proud that they didn’t need to be caught. Because they claimed the use of “medical marijuana”. When they couldn’t even prove that they have severe health issues that required it. Denial - that it was still illegal.
“5 For I was born a sinner --yes, from the moment my mother conceived me. 6 But you desire honesty from my heart, so you can teach me to be wise in my inmost being.” - Psalm 51:5,6
God wants our hearts to be right with Him. No sin is too great to be forgiven! God can forgive any sin. That is…if our heart’s attitude is right…Our outward actions can never please God. For He requires a broken and repentant heart.
Psalm 51:17 - “The sacrifice you want is a broken spirit. A broken and repentant heart, O God, you will not despise.”
Are you truly sorry for your sins and genuinely want to stop? That’s what God wants…I pray that you will empty your cups [hearts or your lives] and have them be filled with His love!
30 DAYS OF THANKSGIVING - 14
8 hours ago
Great post -we cannot hide our true selves from our Savior - he wants us to believe in Him.. to trust in Him and to give our All to him....
ReplyDeleteGreat song too!
thank you for being an inspiration.
Love to you
Kelly
I truly needed that today! God bless you. Thanks. Carol
ReplyDeleteGOD wants the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Sitka helps me to tell about hiding, today on arise 2 write.
ReplyDeleteHugs, andrea
Two verses that I have held close and have allowed God to powerfully use. Yesterday I just finished reading a book that the Lord has used to break my heart and give me new eyes for the homeless, people whose lives are full of all kinds of evil things. I cried all the way though the end. It challenges me to see the hope for them in Christ. Thanks for being part of what the Lord is doing in my life right now. :)
ReplyDeleteLove your new background and banner!
ReplyDeleteI often find myself hiding too...I needed this reminder to come out into the open. Thank you...
Beautiful reminder.
ReplyDelete"Prison is a hard place filled with Hate, Anger, Depression, and Loneliness"
ReplyDelete---Rosel
I saw a calendar at my dentist's office long ago. He had a gal escort me to a cubicle, put a bib on me, set out charts, and disappear.
I grew restless and bored waiting for him to appear and began to walk around the room.
L-O-N-E-L-I-N-E-S-S was posted at the top of a calendar page for December. I inspected closer, as this was a lonely period in my life. I was beginning a beguine of raising two young girls to womanhood, and do it alone.
A white, white polar bear stood at the very edge of a slice of ice. Frigid waters of deep blue trickled onto his toes over cold edges.
He was peering into the far horizon at an oncoming darkened sky. The storm was approaching soon. Frigid was painted in this portrait from every angle.
The bear could not see a single source of life anywhere. No fish, birds, companion bear....NOTHING. The scene chilled me to the bones that December day.
Below the picture was a definition. It read:
Loneliness is an awareness from God that HE longs to be in fellowship with us,...as WE long to be in fellowship with one another.
Loneliness.
I just stared at that lonely bear, in my own loneliness and began to realize that loneliness itself is a gift from God.
He knows it well.
Each rejection by each person He has created makes Him lonely. Free will can do that to a God, eh?
Years earlier, Cole Porter wrote an intriguing song called "Begin the Beguine". My older sisters played it on a record album, at a time I could hear. I did not know what a beguine was, but there was a rapture among my sisters each time they played the tune.
Indeed, beguine has to do with ballroom dancing and the flirtation that goes on with such. but the etymology of the word goes to the 13th century church.
It is from Old French "beguine", from Middle Dutch "beg"-, root of beggaert, one who rattles off prayers!
The song and the dance become a rattling off of prayer in new form.
We, too, dance and sing with the Lord and a prayer bond is formed between us.
Loneliness disappears.
See if you can find God in the words and allusions created by Cole Porter, from generations of yore.
"When they begin
the beguine
it brings back the sound
of music so tender
it brings back a night
of tropical splendor
it brings back a memory of green
I'm with you once more
under the stars
and down by the shore
an orchestras playing
and even the palms
seem to be swaying
when they begin
the beguine
to live it again
is past all endeavor
except when that tune
clutches my heart
and there we are swearing to love forever
and promising never
never to part
a moments divine
what rapture serene
to clouds came along
to disperse the joys we had tasted
and now when I hear people curse the chance that was wasted
I know but too well what they mean
so dont let them begin the beguine
let the love that was once a fire
remain an ember
let it sleep like the dead desire I only remember
when they begin the beguine
oh yes let them begin the beguine
make them play
til the stars that were there before
return above you
till you whisper to me
once more darling I love you
and we suddenly know what heaven we're in
when they begin
the beguine"
---Cole Porter, "Begin The Beguine"
Consider this when you find yourself in the prison of loneliness. We all check in those gates at some times of our lives.
God made it so we would come back in fellowship with HIM.
Another time, we can look more closely at Hate, Anger, and Depression, but for now...
begin the beguine with our Lord and evaporate your loneliness.
Happy St. Patrick's Day to all.
Wear the green.
“Be careful how you treat God, my friends. You may say to yourself, ‘I can sin against God and then, of course, I can repent and go back and find God whenever I want him.’ You try it. And you will sometimes find that not only can you not find God but that you do not even want to. You will be aware of a terrible hardness in your heart. And you can do nothing about it. And then you suddenly realize that it is God punishing you in order to reveal your sinfulness and your vileness to you. And there is only one thing to do. You turn back to him and you say, ‘O God, do not go on dealing with me judicially, though I deserve it. Soften my heart. Melt me. I cannot do it myself.’ You cast yourself utterly upon his mercy and upon his compassion.”
ReplyDeleteD. Martyn Lloyd-Jones, Revival (Westchester, 1987), page 300
Transparency is hard to acheive. All of us are too much akin to the Pharisees. Apart from Christ humbling us and opening the books, we grat against transparency. But we must be if we desire to be used and to be blessed. Enjoyed your site.
ReplyDeletegreat post...true words....Sarah
ReplyDeleteI pray you are doing well, my sweet friend.
ReplyDeleteYour words of wisdom are so convicting. I can get so wrapped up in keeping quiet or keeping things private to myself, that there are times I will become agitated if I'm asked to disclose something.
Sometimes though, I can be really transparent, and at other times, I can be as closed off as a tomb. Knowing this about myself, I've taken to reminding myself that God sees all and knows all. There's nothing about ourselves that we can hide from Him because our hearts are already transparent to Him. All He's waiting on us to do is empty our cups before Him, as you so eloquently put it.
Such a joy for me to come here. Thank you for always inspiring me with your words. Also, I'd like to thank you for following Amber and leaving her such a sweet and encouraging comment. I know she will blossom through her blog with such words from you. Again, thank you!
May God richly bless you! *huge hugs*
This has stirred me Rosel. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI have to seek His forgiveness over and over again, but I'm so grateful that He never grows tired of it! :)
ReplyDeleteHave a blessed evening Rosel. :O)
Truth!!! And, I love the new blog design by the way!
ReplyDeleteWylie
I will join you in prayer asking for that wonderful gift of discernment for your work! And protection too!
ReplyDeleteLove ya,
Mary
Hi Rosel,
ReplyDeleteGreat to be able to visit with you this morning. As usual you have written a thought provoking post! Hope you are doing well and have a great day!
Blessings to you,
Kymber
Always be up front and honest with God.
ReplyDeleteHe can handle it.
great post! God can see all of us and He knows our innermost thoughts and ALL our deeds! We can lie to ourselves and others - but God always knows the truth!
ReplyDeleteIt truly is amazing that people do not understand that you can not add truth to lies. They just do not mix. It is just like putting on a mask over the real thing. Before a person can accept Truth, he has to empty himself, or his cup, surrender up what he assumed was truth before and recognize that he was believing lies; then Truth can come in and bring its freedom. I loved this so much!!
ReplyDeleteHi, there! I just wanted to stop by and say 'thank you' for following me, but most importantly for your encouraging words on my blog. I appreciate it so much. I'm getting less nervous about blogging now, and I believe it's because of yours and everyone else's words of encouragement.
ReplyDeleteI hope all is well with you. I'm following you now as well. I'm hoping that's ok.
Thanks again,
~Amber