I Blew A Fuse

Sometime last year…I was endlessly working. Part of it, was my nature. To give everything I have. Only for the Big Boss. I would always be grateful for this job He gave me as a Correctional Nurse. It was not easy. But the joy of being able to help out to the hurting souls gave me accomplishments deep inside that has far more value than earth’s money or gold.

The other part was because of the Supervisor or Charge Nurse was also telling me “Do this! Do that when you’re done!” Patiently, I had been following her wishes. Until my neck got achier and it felt like I couldn’t go on anymore [I had a neck injury in 1997]. It wasn’t about her telling me what to do. It was about her telling us to do work first that were not nursing kind of stuff. You know, like filing papers. Cleaning the exam rooms after. Calling some inmates middle of the night to make sure they were okay when the sick call was usually done in the morning. In their units.

I heard Paul’s voice saying: [Romans 13:1 -”For there is no authority except from God and the authorities that exist are from God.”].

I even heard Peter from the back of my mind, too: “For the Lord’s sake, accept all authority - the king as head of state, and the officials he has appointed.” -1Peter 2:13-14

“Rcubes…Can you also do the blood pressure checks in unit 8?”, she uttered as I was barely done from charting on an inmate’s chart after a non-emergent sick call. Mind you, this was also done by the LVN's in the morning.

Would you believe RCUBES got upset? That was it! The anger meter went up the roof! A fuse blew up! As I kept telling myself, “be slow to anger Rosel! Be slow to anger!” I didn’t say anything. She noticed. Because I usually had the enthusiasm to work. Most of the time, without being told.

“Do you have a problem?” she asked.

“Yes, I do!” I answered really loud and with a higher tone of voice that surprised my co-workers who had not seen that kind of attitude from me. I felt their sympathy. On me.

She brushed against my left shoulder and whispered, “We’ll talk later, okay?”

“No!” I said with defiance she did not expect.

To make this long story short, I didn’t talk with her not until the following week that I was scheduled to work.

“Hi, Nurse Z!” I softly greeted her as I walked into the Clinic.

“Would it be okay with you, if you have a minute, to talk with me?”

“Sure,” she said as she got up and led me to her office.

As I heard the door closed behind us, I started, “I’m sorry for the behavior I had shown you last week. The reason I got upset was because you were non-stop telling me what to do. You know you never have a problem with me when it comes to work. Because I don’t need to be told. But most of the stuff you told me to do was not even related to our work. Which was fine. If we have a quiet night. You know that I also like to help out others whenever I can. But you knew we were busy that night. It just got to me as I started feeling my neck hurting more.”

She just kept staring. Not saying a word. Digesting all the words that were coming out like a flowing river. I saw her eyes got teary.

“I didn’t talk to you when you offered that night, because I was so angry and I didn’t want to face you that way. I know that in my anger, it would be easy to say things that I wouldn’t mean or even regret much later. And it would be so easy to destroy someone even with words.”

Still no words from her. She was meeting my own straight gaze.

“I just want to let you know that I’m very sorry.”

“Okay. Thanks for telling me,” were the only words she uttered as on-lookers were staring at the two of us as we walked out of that room. They were wondering what happened but they knew it was a talk that led to healing. To straightening out what was misunderstood before.

And I felt something got lifted from my shoulder…I didn’t want to make a good impression on her. I wanted to do it Christ’s way. He always put others first.

“Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one heart and purpose. Don’t be selfish; don’t live to make a good impression on others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself. Don’t think only about your own affairs, but be interested in others, too and what they are doing.” - Philippians 2:2-4


  1. “Let us look at our lives in the light of this experience [in 2 Corinthians 12:7-10] and see whether we gladly glory in weakness, whether we take pleasure, as Paul did, in injuries, in necessities, in distresses. Yes, let us ask whether we have learned to regard a reproof, just or unjust, a reproach from friend or enemy, an injury, or trouble, or difficulty into which others bring us, as above all an opportunity of proving how Jesus is all to us, how our own pleasure or honor are nothing, and how humiliation is in very truth what we take pleasure in. It is indeed blessed, the deep happiness of heaven, to be so free from self that whatever is said of us or done to us is lost and swallowed up in the thought that Jesus is all.”

    Andrew Murray, Humility: The Beauty of Holiness, page 83.

  2. 100 Followers.
    Christ chose 1, then 2, then a dozen.
    Soon, He was up to 72 and sent them out two by two (we are never sent alone).

    And now, He has gathered at a new table...
    100 Followers. Though we are not sent out two by two in these times (except Jehovah Witnesses and Mormons, curiously), we gather at the table here to learn instruction, participate experiences, and share a great love for Jesus Christ.

    100 Followers at Off The Beaten Trek is a small milestone. Rosel would be the first to say "They are here to Follow Him, not me".
    True disciples always say that, and mean it.

    But on this Groundhog Day in PA, with six more weeks of winter forecast by a rodent, 100 Followers seek a higher calling and Truth, not forecast. So they come here and work out their salvation in a love starved world, upon leaving.

    In days of yore, farewells were said as "God be with ye!". This has contracted over time to a simple "goodbye". Sometimes the original is better. This is not a farewell, but a salutation nonetheless:

    God be with ye, Rosel.
    He IS!

  3. He passed me on the interstate and immediately slammed his brakes. The Exit was here and we were both getting off the same spot. Why did he have to risk my life and others to be one space forward? I was not happy.

    The light changed and both exit lanes began to move. Both lanes can turn left to the Mall, but the right lane can go in any direction.
    He cut again and moved to the right lane, forcing another to slam brakes or commit injury.

    But in the right lane, he turned LEFT with me.
    Another light stopped all ahead, and we were stranded on the bridge above the turnpike we both left. Traffic was bumper to bumper in front, behind, and on all sides. No one was moving and gridlock played on nerves.

    The man who cut me off at Exit, and cut another to get in an outside lane, but still turn left, got out of his car and with reddened, angry face, began a march step of increasing pace toward my car. It looked like he was ready to duke it out; he abandoned his car in traffic and sped toward mine on foot.

    I locked my door, and inched the window down a crack. (In retrospect, it was foolish as it provided entry, and I am deaf so I cannot hear him anyway. But I thought the gesture was a meeting halfway, and possibly defuse things).

    I was wrong. He continued around vehichles toward me with discontent written all over his face. I leaned way right and opened the glove compartment. Nothing is in there, but I scooted around in there with my arm plainly visible, withdrew my empty hand slowly and buried it in my lap. (Folks just never know what you withdrew there. A bluff was underway).

    He astonished me by stopping dead in his tracks, as I withdrew my hand from the glove compartment. The bluff was working. (I have no gun in there). He screamed something but was so furious I could not read his lips. As he ranted, I took out my cell phone and pointed it at his license plate and snapped a photo and another of his empty vehicle on the road, packed like a sardine still.

    Realizing what I was doing, he quickly turned and returned to his car. We drove side by side as the light changed and cars crawled anew. He gave me a peace sign with his fingers, but forgot one of the fingers of peace. I lifted my cell phone as if I were going to snap a new pic. His gesture ended and true peace began for all around us.

    Fuses are dangerous as they may not have the right Amp for a load of electricity and burn a place down as a result. Code today is circuit breaker. When an overload occurs, regardless of the amount, the circuit trips and current can no longer be carried. It is impossible to burn out, overload, of have a fire with a circuit breaker. And, they are easily reset, to resume a natural state of life.

    The Bible is replete with "circuit breakers" for people and their emotions.
    Perhaps your audience will list their favorite Biblical circuit breakers below.

    I like Hebrews 13:2 saying
    "Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it."

    Angels always struck fear in their appearance, then proclaimed "Do not be afraid".

    When your eyes look upon an angry stranger as an "angel" --- you never know, eh? --- , they pick up on that glance and act accordingly.

  4. Rosel, As always thought provoking message. I love your blog. Have a good day! Carol

  5. You always have a way with words R, that makes me stop and think...not to mention be convicted as well.


  6. WOW...I have to say I REALLY admire how you have come to let the Holy Spirit control your anger...you could go clear back to a year ago to remember losing your temper and even them you really only said one slightly louder word, and then restrained from saying more until you calmed down. Who knows how many people you have been such a positive witness to Him for. I don't know if I could count up just in the last month how many times I have lost mine. I don't "blow up" completely or anything, but definitely quick little things I say I shouldn't etc. SIGH.... So much more work He needs to do in me. Have a great day Rosel.

  7. Rosel,

    I can totally relate and in my quiet time this morning I was reading about the time that David was angry with the Lord for killing his friend Uzzah. Although you weren't angry with God you still sought HIM and in your anger you did not sin. God knows we get angry and it is best to share that with HIM rather than NOT! You have a heart after HIM just like David did/does! You were blessed and also blessed the nurse who received your apology. She saw Christ like behavior and I am sure even though she didn't speak she was doing alot of speaking to herself within! You glorified the Lord Rosel EVEN in your anger!!

    The Lord is near to all who call on HIM, to all who call on him in TRUTH! Psalm 145:18

    thank you for being truthful with her and sharing here for us! You inspire us daily my friend!

  8. Bro.Ike: I liked the Scripture and that quote from Andrew Murray that you had shared. Thank you. Thanks be to God that when His power is displayed in our weaknesses [like how it was with Paul], it gives us courage and hope in return. When I was about to really yell at the top of my lungs and good thing, I didn't, I knew my limitation right there. And knew that I needed to depend on His grace to cool me off. For nothing else will. I appreciate your visits and "footprints". God bless.

  9. Keystone: Your stories and biblical knowledge always bless me and I learn a lot from your comments. Sometimes, I find myself cracking up [like when you wrote: "He gave me a peace sign with his fingers, but forgot one of the fingers of peace."... But most of the time, you leave me pondering...and digesting on a lot of meat.

    Your encounter with that angry man was nerve-wracking! But sure glad here that you maintained your composure and I know that the Lord's protection was with you.

    The Lord commands for us to love our enemies...It's not easy. He is always just and loving. He doesn' suspend his love when He judges nor does He abandon justice when He is loving. If we are to separate love and justice, the result can be hideous. God isn't like that. He is never like that. So, as followers, we must endeavor to be never like that. God bless. Thank you Keystone.

  10. Sister Carol: No! Thank you for blessing me with your visit! Blessings.

  11. Sister Marsha: You would never know how much conviction I had when I got home after that night. But I'm so grateful we have that from the Holy Spirit. Without it, I would have been ensnared in committing a sin. Blessings.

  12. Wow! Wow! Wow! I know without a doubt I would not have handled the situation this well! You're pretty awesome!

    Thank you for sharing your heart (and your wisdom) with us!

    Congratulations on 100 followers!

  13. Sister Debbie: I'm pretty much a calm person. So I thought. Until that moment occurred. We can't really boast about anything except for the Lord's work in each of our hearts. So, glory to God! Thank you for coming by. God bless.

  14. Sister Loren: I love that man - David! So after God! After that incident, that nurse changed. She is more careful now when delegating tasks. She lets me do the work at my own pace. God is about building bridges. I'm so glad that He prevented me from putting up a wall between that nurse and I. Glory to God! Take care sister. Love and blessings to you.

  15. Sister Cherie: You blessed me with this visit. Thank you. Hope you're feeling better now! Be strong in the Lord's mighty power!

  16. Sister Mary: Thank you. I didn't even noticed that I had 100 followers. Keystone was right. They're not following me. I would still say: "They're following the Lord." And I pray for the Lord to bless them all!

    I always instill Philippians 4:13 with my son, knowing that only through Christ's strength we are able to accomplish anything. Everything. God bless.

  17. Rosel,

    I think you have shown the classic example of the way God wants us to handle our anger and become a shining light into a dark and lonely world.

    Well done, good and faithful servant!

    Love and Hugs ~ Kat

  18. I am glad that I had the chance to read this. Thank you for sharing your life and what happened. I know next time I have anger brewing that this will come to mind. Thanks!

  19. I have had issues with authority in my past and didn't deal with those issues as well as you did, I'm sorry to say. I know these issues will come up all throughout our lives, and my desire is to do it Christ's way -- the way you described.

    Thank you for this post.


  20. Thank you for your visits sisters Kat, LeAnn and Lisa. God bless.

  21. God bless you! I have read a few of your post and get up-lifted every time. Your writings make me feel like You are right here talking
    instead of writing.

  22. Thank you sister Aliene for visiting. God bless you, too.

  23. God is the master healer!! Thank you for revealing your strength and weakness in the same post.
    Blessings, andrea

  24. Thanks for encouraging me sisters Denise and Andrea. God bless you both.

  25. I'm glad to know you're human dear Rosel. I'm glad it all worked out in a way that honored the Lord. (((hugs)))

  26. you inspire....thank you for being real and trying so hard to live a Christ centred life. I think you really are making a huge difference....I'm really glad I found you...☺

  27. Sister Beth: Am I? ;)...;)...Blessings...

  28. Sister Sarah: So am I...thanks for your friendship. God bless.

  29. thanks for that post....it was one I needed tonight.....I love your heart...

  30. Thank you for relating this incident at your work. I know so many can relate to your circumstances and I respect the way you listened to God's prompting and came back and talked with the supervising RN. I have no doubt that God is working in her life through your example.

  31. I turn to mush at direct confrontation, but I pull myself, cry out to the Lord for the right words and courage - and then say what needs to be said.

    However, I wish I could do it more like you:)

    Also, thanks for your sweet words and prayers last week. We were all taken by surprise - only a month - and my husband was out of the country for half that time. It was the heartfelt prayers like yours that sustained me and my family. Thank you for blessing me:)

  32. You are a blessing sisters Teresa, Tracy and Blue Cotton. Thanks for coming over! God bless you.

  33. Oh I could learn so much from you Rosel. All week I have been praying that God would give me a quiet and gentle spirit. I wish I was the kind of person that could sit quietly and say nothing, or at least stop saying the wrong thing so often.

    Clearly God wanted me to read this.

  34. Rosel, I have learned a lot from you. Your strength and percerverance helps me along. Blessings to you dear one.

  35. Sister Edie and JBR: We are all work in need of continuous progress. But there is nothing impossible with our good God. To Him be the glory! I'm thankful that He gave me this post and helped me remember, so that I may, in turn remember first to be slow to anger and always look up to Him and follow Him. Then, to encourage others. He is awesome! Blessings.

  36. I know I have too much on me when I feel some anger coming to the surface, too. Good post, and welcome to the human race! I like how you handled the situation with a spiritual approach.

  37. Thanks for modeling for us the right way to handle our anger. And we all have anger from time to time!



"Faith is taking the first step even if you don't see the whole staircase..."
~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

All posts/composed songs copyright by RCUBEs.


The Attacker (5/15/09)

The sun was just peeking from the Eastern skies. Ephesians 6:12 [37 kb]

Out in the prison’s yard, some huge Sheriff’s buses were illuminated by the soft glow coming from the lights all over from the tall lamp posts. Their engines were turned on, warming up, before the buses would take the inmates to the different courts where they would have their trials.

Orange-uniformed men were lined up in pairs, joined together with handcuffs and chained, forming a long line. They already had their breakfast and had their morning medications prior to going to courts. Some were fidgeting, as they waited to board those buses.

All of a sudden, all hell broke loose! Two men were engaged in a fight, using weapons they made secretly for a while. Deputies called for help on the radio, both for custody back-up and medical staff, as well.

When the air was cleared and the other inmates were secured, one man was down on the floor. He sustained multiple gashes but two of them were deep. One cut was vertically etched from his left ear going down to the jaw line. The other dangerous cut was horizontal on his left neck, close to the jugular vein. Pool of blood dripped all over the floor. Holding his bleeding neck, he was pointing at the other inmate few feet away, being guarded by the other deputies.

The other man being accused was not hurt. There were no lacerations nor any other signs of trauma. He was obviously very agitated as he was being questioned by those deputies, while the medical staff started treating the other man on the floor. They cleaned the wounds and controlled the bleeding. That man was sent to the nearby hospital.

When the investigation was finalized, it turned out to be that the “downed man who was accusing the other inmate” was the attacker and the other one who didn’t have injury was the one attacked. The deputies found out that it was the second attempt to attack the unhurt man. Both attacks on him failed. He was well-prepared after the first attempt on him, that when the second attempt was done, he was able to defend himseld and ended up injuring his attacker severely.

[Source: Life Application Bible]:

We also have an “accuser of the brethren.” Satan and his army of demons are the enemies of God and of everything good.

“Because God’s children are human beings – made of flesh and blood – Jesus also became flesh and blood by being born in human form. For only as a human being could he die, and only by dying could he break the power of the Devil, who had the power of death.” –Hebrews 2:14

Because of what Jesus had done [dying on the cross], we, who live in constant fear of death shouldn’t be afraid anymore. Jesus had freed us from that fear so we can live for Him. When we belong to God, we know that death is only the portal that leads into “eternal life”. [“Thank You Lord!].

Paul warned us, too that we also battle against the evil forces of Satan, who is a vicious fighter. But to be able to withstand their attacks, we must depend on God’s strength and use every piece of His armor. We face an army whose goal is to defeat Christ’s church. When we believe in Christ, they become our enemies. They will try any device to turn us away from the Lord.

Fear not! For God has provided His supernatural power to defeat Satan and his army, through His Holy Spirit within us. So, arm yourselves with God’s armor.

Let us be strong in the Lord's mighty power. Let's put on His whole armor to resist the enemy's attacks: put on the sturdy belt of truth and the body armor of God's righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News, so that we are well-prepared. We will need faith in every battle as our shield to stop the fiery arrows aimed by Satan and his army. Let us put on salvation as our helmet, not forgetting the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. Let's pray at all times, on every occasion in the power of the Holy Spirit. We must stay alert and be persistent in our prayers for all Christians everywhere. [Ephesians 6:10-18].