Brokenness

He came, with the unit’s deputy walking behind him. He was holding a book with his left hand as he carefully placed a painful right hand, resting on top of the book.

“What happened?” I queried.

“I was practicing my karate chops this morning, Ma’am, when I woke up. I swung pretty hard and accidentally hit the metal frame of the bunk bed. I hit it so hard that my right hand feels so much pain. I’m scared to move it so I have this book to make it just rest on top,” he softly answered.

“I can see that, the moment you walked in. But…I don’t see any deformity nor swelling. There is also no bruising. So, I hope that it’s good,” I answered as I carefully palpated the radial pulse to make sure there was a good circulation flowing to the right hand. There was.

“Sir, since there’s no doctor at this time, I’m going to wrap your hand with a special dressing to support it and make it not move as much. It may hurt you as I do so. But when I get done, you will feel relief,” I reassured.

“Do what you have to do, Ma’am. I think it’s broken,” he said.

“I don’t think it is. I can’t tell you the symptoms when there is a fracture. But to be on the safe side, I will still put you for the doctor and it will be up to him to order an x-ray,” I uttered. [I don’t disclose symptoms to inmates because sometimes, they tend to come back and fake the severity of their illnesses or injuries and they start saying the symptoms if they are told].

After using an Ace-wrap bandage and giving him something for pain, he slowly got up…

“Thank you, Ma’am. Ahhh. You’re right, it does feel better. But I'm still gonna' use this book,” he replied as he smiled.

“Hope you feel better…I know you need the doctor if it is broken,” I responded.

We all practice our “karate chops”, too [self-reliance] but when we break our will as we face many trials, that’s when we realize we need the “Doctor” and we become totally dependent of Him. It seems like when God has a greater plan for a person, the greater the brokenness that occurs. The apostle Paul both endured great power along with great brokenness. But he never said that his “brokenness” was a punishment nor a failure. He asserted that his sufferings were a result of his service to Christ.

2 Corinthians 1:5 ~ “For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too.” [ESV]

Blessings go with brokenness? That’s hard to take! How can we feel blessed while being broken at the same time? But all the pain, all the hurt brought about by a loss of loved ones, of divorce, of being trapped in substance abuse, of being financially broken, bring about that potential to discover the richness in living that otherwise, we would never know. It is through brokenness that we experience God’s greatest blessings…

It is only through brokenness that God’s power works in us. Our self-reliance is replaced with His desires and good intentions for us.

In the end, we discover spiritual maturity, a deeper relationship with God, His divine wisdom, more power to minister to others, strength, peace, etc…etc…

Lord, I’m broken!!! Ahhh…But You’re right. I feel better…Because of my brokenness, Your healing and restoration come forth…

Let us stop fixing our "brokenness" in our own terms. Let's bring it to Christ...