I will Never

When my father had gotten so ill since being diagnosed with colon cancer back in 2007, my brothers and I were stuck with wanting to help him financially versus going home to see him. Back home, they don't have medical insurance like we do here in America. So, everyday, though expensive to be hospitalized, of course, we wanted all the best comfort my father could have physically. When he knew that he wasn't improving, he opted to go home and remain in our house. I agreed. This was one of the situation that being a nurse helped yet, at the same time, having that knowledge was causing me too much pain, knowing how much suffering my father was in, physically. During the last few weeks of him with remaining strength, 3 brothers of mine from Europe and I decided it was best to visit him while he was still here with us. We knew then that would be the last time we might have with him. I wasn't afraid. But what would I do, I didn't have extra money to go home? I didn't have enough leave at work. I silently prayed. With tears, I gave everything to the Lord. I knew in my heart, if He meant for my brothers and I to be with my earthly father, then, there would be a way. My husband was trying over that weekend to get me a ticket. To no luck! But who said "it's impossible with God?" I trusted in the Lord and I knew, whether I would be able to go home or not, I had the comfort that my father had opened his heart to the Lord's gift of salvation. That was what mattered to me...

I got a call Saturday that he wasn't looking well. Sunday morning, so tired coming from a busy night's shift at work, my husband shouted with joy as he was able to buy me the last ticket. But where would I get my pocket money? We applied for a loan via online with our bank. Within 15 minutes, the loan was approved [in which the Lord had provided for me to be able to pay it off in a very short time]. At work, my supervisor was very supportive of giving me all the time I needed for the trip despite the short notice.

The following day, Monday night, I was bound to the airport to go home for a 13 hour flight. Wow! There was no traffic which was weird knowing the roads were usually jammed going to Los Angeles International Airport. Reaching the counter way early, the lady told me we would be in our destination at 5:30 am. I told her, you must have a mistake. That was only the time of arrival where we were supposed to have a stop-over. She replied, "Ma'am. For the first time, we decided to fly non-stop again starting with this flight that you're in." Was it good luck? No!!! It was "divine intervention." Everything was a blessing from the Lord when He willed something. Of course, it was a great reunion with my father. Together with my brothers, we had created more memories, though bittersweet, we knew they would be in our hearts forever.

Why am I writing about this? It's because I want to thank the Lord and tell you, how important it is for us to continue to trust in the Lord, no matter what circumstances we're in. Some things we don't understand but the Lord knows it all. If our prayers are answered, thank Him. If our prayers are not answered, thank Him still! Because He knows what's best for us. If our prayers are taking a while, still thank Him despite the long wait, because there is always a great reason for that. Everything happens in His perfect time. The Lord is good! And He loves us all! Do you love Him? Do you know Him? If you don't. you're missing so much in this lifetime, walking everyday without the Lord is like being lost in that valley.

I wrote this song on 1/17/07 to thank the Lord for His goodness.

I Will Never

I will never be lost
For You always make a way
You give me light and You guide
My dark and wrong ways

I will never be afraid
For You're always by my side
You hold my hand and draw me close
Nearer to You

Someday, I will understand
All the things will be clear for me
As I live for now, all I know
Is that I must....trust in no one but You

I will never die again
Because You gave Your life on the cross
You welcomed me with open arms
And called me Your friend

I will never understand
The kind of love that You have shown
I received Your gift of grace
Because of Jesus

Someday, I will understand
All the things will be clear to me
As I live for now, all I know
Is that I must..trust in no one but You

Is that I must...[I will never]...trust in no one.....but You...