Brokenhearted

It hurts when someone breaks your trust. I had loved this person like a family to us. I trusted her with everything that only my family members would have known. I felt my anger started creeping up. I probably looked like those characters from the movies when smoke comes out of both ears and the face turn very red! It wasn't a pleasant feeling. I was feeling heavy all day yesterday. I knew I needed to vent out...and I did...to my God, Who I know is always there for me. I wanted to be able to forgive right away knowing that God forgives readily to those who truly repents of their sins.

In my quiet time with the Lord, I asked Him to talk to me and help me get rid of this poisonous anger. God is awesome! He surely showed me His loving embrace through His Word. He let me know that letting go of anger was surely the best thing to do and which would please Him in return.

He told me from Romans 12:17-19, 21 - "Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Do your part to live in peace with everyone, as much as possible. Never avenge yourselves. Leave that to God. Don't let evil get the best of you, but conquer evil by doing good."

To God be the glory! I felt something heavy got lifted off my chest...and felt that no matter who hurts me or breaks my heart, God is always there for me, loving me, comforting me, and setting an example to still love others, even the worst of my enemies...Thank You Lord!

Let Jesus Drive Your Car of Life

Back in 1994, I was 4 mos. pregnant when I just finished working another night shift and was on my way home from work. I must be so tired that I thought a car was about to hit me. I hit on my brake pedal so hard that it locked and I started spinning around! I talked to Jesus to control my car and give me and my husband a chance to see my baby who wasn't born yet. I didn't panic! I remembered a deep sense of calmness and peace surrounding me.

My son is now 13 yrs.old. Spiritually speaking, we can all let Jesus drive the cars of our lives. If we let Him drive, He will help us not stop on roads where we aren't supposed to stop. When we put our trust on this Special Driver, nothing will go wrong. I wrote this song on June 2003 when I recalled that incident:

Let Jesus Drive Your Car of Life

Driving alone on a lonely road

As darkness of the night wraps everything

Don't know where to go

Don't know where to turn

Let Jesus come into your car

Pick Him up from that road of life

Let Jesus steer your car of life

And suddenly, everything will be clear for you to see...

Don't look back, keep looking ahead

For Jesus is with you, throw away your fear

Just move on, He can drive your car

With Jesus, you can go that far...

Joy

Whenever we have very busy nights at work, we always joke around about how great it must be to win the Superlotto and just quit...Easier said than done...But if it really does happen, there is really no guarantee that we are ever going to be happy just by winning millions of dollars. There is no money that can equal true happiness...

Joy is not something we get from material things. True joy comes from knowing God. It all starts with having a personal relationship with God. It all starts with the knowledge how much God loves us all. And not until we experience that kind of love, we will not experience true "joy". As we try to have a closer walk with God, then, we are bound to discover that He remains unchanging and that His love never ends. From 1John 4:19, "we love because He first loved us." Joy goes beyond "happiness" as it remains even in the midst of "unhappiness". Rooted in God's love, it is a deeper sense of stability even when things around us go wrong.

"In Your presence is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forever more..."-Psalm 16:11..

There Is No Partiality with God

Had a busy night at work. As usual, we were also short, too with staff so we were anticipating a more hectic "accucheck time", time when we monitor all of the diabetic inmates' blood sugar this morning.
Before 6am, that's the usual time when all the night crew gets caught up with all the busyness and chaos, so it's usually more calm and that's when we try to get reenergized prior to accuchecks.
The incoming day charge nurse walked in, finding us, sitting and with all the calmness around us, commented, "you guys should be doing something instead of just sitting around." No amount of explanation would change her mind, her way of thinking that we were just idle. I felt my blood pressure go higher because I felt it wasn't right for her to assume that we were not busy at all when we just got done with all the work.
Things here in this world a lot of times are not fair. Sometimes, there is double standard. Your effort doesn't get noticed. You don't get thanked for something you have done beyond your means...You're not accepted. You're not respected...Didn't men do all these with the Lord Jesus? That's how it is here in this world.
I stepped out of the front door with a new positive outlook. I wasn't planning on ruining my new day with someone's false accusation. I took a deep breath and deep inside felt good, knowing that God is there Who sees everything. He's the One I always want to please with whatever I'm doing. He is my "BOSS". He is the One Who knows I put my heart in things that I do at work because He knows how much I treasure this job He gave me. He knows how much I appreciate this "blessing" when I found it after my neck injury...Colossians 3:23 says, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men."
I don't need to explain anything because I know He is always fair. From 2 Chronicles 19:7, "Now let the fear of the LORD be upon you. Judge carefully, for with the LORD our God there is no injustice or partiality or bribery."