How Long Oh Lord?

“ 1 How long, LORD? Will you forget me forever?
   How long will you hide your face from me?
2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
   and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
   How long will my enemy triumph over me?” – Psalm 13:1,2 (NIV)

“Stop talking! Just relax!”

Panting slightly, she pursed her lips and let out some rapid breaths. The nasal cannula in her nostrils delivering 2 liters of oxygen per minute aided a bit. I kept observing a foot away from where this middle-aged inmate was sitting. A nurse had previously seen and treated her already for her chest pain.

“How much longer Nurse? I’m feeling okay now.”

Dialing the nearby phone, I verified with the Charge Nurse and asked about the Estimate Time of Arrival of the ambulance.

“Soon….Just be patient.”

Excitingly, she started again telling me about her family history of how she, being the oldest among 5 sisters was the only one alive and her dad, being 82, was so youthful for his age.

“Wooo….I’m so excited that it’s getting hard to breathe…”

“Stop talking! I told you, just relax…”

Breathing in through her nose, I coaxed her to slow down and savor the oxygen going through her nostrils. She appeared calmer. Her white hair strewn in disarray and the lines on her made her look older for the stated age. She had been using heroin for 30 something years, she told me. The use of injected drugs made our IV starts difficult. She knew her working veins well, pointing to me where to land the needle. Without success. The veins and arteries felt hard, so hard that they were scarred because of the long drug use.

“I’m getting tired Nurse. I’m not having chest pain anymore. Oh….How much longer do I have to wait?”

“Just a few more minutes Ma’am. I heard it on the radio, the ambulance just arrived in the yard. You still need to go to the ER to be examined and make sure your heart is okay.”

I felt like that inmate, too, being impatient with the outcome of my battle that started in December 2010. While my enemies laughed at me and continue to harass me, I remained silent as this was not the proper time to speak up. I felt tired. I felt weak. I had been having pains from all the wounds those people had been inflicting me with. But I knew from the start, it would be Jesus Who would carry me through. I was never afraid of them because I knew I didn’t do anything wrong. They were just plain abusive of the power given to them that they thought they could do anything they wanted to do on a certain person. Like me. But victory was won! Long time ago! Victory that was given to me as He poured His love on my heart and brought me to a place of abundance. I needed to learn to relax. I needed to be patient. Everything happens for a purpose and I must trust on His timetable not mine. Forgive me Oh Lord.

“3 Look on me and answer, LORD my God.
   Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,
4 and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,”
   and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

 5 But I trust in your unfailing love;
   my heart rejoices in your salvation.
6 I will sing the LORD’s praise,
   for he has been good to me.” – Psalm 13:3-6 (NIV)




How Long Oh Lord (Psalm 13)
Robert Barham Music Psalms


Consider, and answer me my Lord.
Re-store my strength; don't leave me here to die.
I know that you've been good to me,
I know that you will rescue me,
So please, answer me my Lord.

I've trusted in your steadfast love,
My heart will rejoice in Thy salvation,
I find these times so hard to bear,
I need you Lord to hear my prayer,
So please, answer me my Lord.

How long Oh Lord? Will you hide your face from me forever?
How long must I bear this pain in my soul?
How long Oh Lord? Will my enemies prevail forever?
How long till I see the light of your love?

I've trusted in your steadfast love,
My heart will rejoice in Thy salvation.
I find these times so hard to bear,
I need you Lord to hear my prayer,
So please, answer me my Lord.

How long Oh Lord? Will you hide you face from me forever?
How long must I bear this pain in my soul?
How long Oh Lord? Will my enemies prevail forever?
How long till I see the light of your love?
How long till I see the light of your love?

11 comments:

  1. Great analogy. I hope you find strength in God's promises.

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  2. Ah Rosel, it is so nice to see as you come to real resolution on this situation. Thank you for staying close to our Father even in the darkest moments. Surely He will bless you as your testimony blesses others. I do love you.

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  3. These verses are good for me, too. I'm holding on to God's promises also and I know He is never too late. It's difficult!

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  4. Years ago - 1989 to be exact - a horrible & dark stretch of road was mine to navigate. I cried nearly every day for several months, wondering when, if ever the Lord would make a way where there seemed no way. It took a long time; "forever" at that time. In reality, it was a year or so. I look back & shudder, but I praise God for His faithfulness.

    Praying with you, Rosel. I know you've got the faith to stand firm.

    Hugs,
    Kathleen

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  5. AMEN! Jesus will carry us through whatever we are going through. And He won the victory for us a long time ago. Thanks for the reminder!

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  6. hank you RoseL. as usual this was needed. The lord let me stumble upon your page again because I needed this especially after all I have been going through. I honestly had the WORST day at my internship but after reading this and I literally said the prayer out loud to help myself calm down and as a prayer to God, I feel a little bit calmer. I am still afraid of what might happen for me now, but I shouldn't be because God can do any and every thing. He knows where I am right now and He loves me enough to protect me and to be in control of my situation. Not necessarily stopping the storms or preventing it from happening, but from keeping it from damaging me or capsizing me in the process. Knowing that He loves me enough not to leave me hanging. Although I know this stuff in my head, I know life will be a little bit easier and less stress provoking if I meditate on these things, meditate on His word day and night has a lot more meaning right now as I type this. I will continue to keep you in prayer as my enemies also seeks to conquer and put me down.

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  7. Rosel, there is always strength in the Word of God. Knowing this helps me.....but it is a struggle at times as well. Blessings to you dear one as you continue on your journey to freedom.

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  8. I used to ask HIm all the time...are you there? Do you care? Where are you?? I found out....He was there all the time...waiting for that right moment..the perfect timing...and He can be trusted. Have a great weekend.

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  9. I must stop and recount all the times the Lord has been so good to me.

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  10. Amen! Great video and poem! :-)

    Have a nice week Rosel :-)

    & BTW, thanks for your recent comment on my WCS post. ~Ron

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  11. It won't be long now, dear friend.

    Weeping endures for the night but joy comes in the morning.

    Keep holding on to Him... He is the God who never sleeps.

    Much love
    Lidia

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"Faith is taking the first step even if you don't see the whole staircase..."
~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

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Encouragers

The Attacker (5/15/09)

The sun was just peeking from the Eastern skies. Ephesians 6:12 [37 kb]


Out in the prison’s yard, some huge Sheriff’s buses were illuminated by the soft glow coming from the lights all over from the tall lamp posts. Their engines were turned on, warming up, before the buses would take the inmates to the different courts where they would have their trials.


Orange-uniformed men were lined up in pairs, joined together with handcuffs and chained, forming a long line. They already had their breakfast and had their morning medications prior to going to courts. Some were fidgeting, as they waited to board those buses.


All of a sudden, all hell broke loose! Two men were engaged in a fight, using weapons they made secretly for a while. Deputies called for help on the radio, both for custody back-up and medical staff, as well.


When the air was cleared and the other inmates were secured, one man was down on the floor. He sustained multiple gashes but two of them were deep. One cut was vertically etched from his left ear going down to the jaw line. The other dangerous cut was horizontal on his left neck, close to the jugular vein. Pool of blood dripped all over the floor. Holding his bleeding neck, he was pointing at the other inmate few feet away, being guarded by the other deputies.


The other man being accused was not hurt. There were no lacerations nor any other signs of trauma. He was obviously very agitated as he was being questioned by those deputies, while the medical staff started treating the other man on the floor. They cleaned the wounds and controlled the bleeding. That man was sent to the nearby hospital.


When the investigation was finalized, it turned out to be that the “downed man who was accusing the other inmate” was the attacker and the other one who didn’t have injury was the one attacked. The deputies found out that it was the second attempt to attack the unhurt man. Both attacks on him failed. He was well-prepared after the first attempt on him, that when the second attempt was done, he was able to defend himseld and ended up injuring his attacker severely.


[Source: Life Application Bible]:


We also have an “accuser of the brethren.” Satan and his army of demons are the enemies of God and of everything good.


“Because God’s children are human beings – made of flesh and blood – Jesus also became flesh and blood by being born in human form. For only as a human being could he die, and only by dying could he break the power of the Devil, who had the power of death.” –Hebrews 2:14


Because of what Jesus had done [dying on the cross], we, who live in constant fear of death shouldn’t be afraid anymore. Jesus had freed us from that fear so we can live for Him. When we belong to God, we know that death is only the portal that leads into “eternal life”. [“Thank You Lord!].


Paul warned us, too that we also battle against the evil forces of Satan, who is a vicious fighter. But to be able to withstand their attacks, we must depend on God’s strength and use every piece of His armor. We face an army whose goal is to defeat Christ’s church. When we believe in Christ, they become our enemies. They will try any device to turn us away from the Lord.


Fear not! For God has provided His supernatural power to defeat Satan and his army, through His Holy Spirit within us. So, arm yourselves with God’s armor.


Let us be strong in the Lord's mighty power. Let's put on His whole armor to resist the enemy's attacks: put on the sturdy belt of truth and the body armor of God's righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News, so that we are well-prepared. We will need faith in every battle as our shield to stop the fiery arrows aimed by Satan and his army. Let us put on salvation as our helmet, not forgetting the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. Let's pray at all times, on every occasion in the power of the Holy Spirit. We must stay alert and be persistent in our prayers for all Christians everywhere. [Ephesians 6:10-18].

Friends