His Light

It was so cold when I went to work last Saturday afternoon, coupled with the gusty winds that threatened to make a mess of anyone’s hair-do.

My spirit had been restrained and not as excited to anticipate what the day’s work would bring ever since I was given a hard time at work regarding my work hour issues. Lots of changes had been made by the one-year old Nurse Manager. There surely was nothing wrong with that. But with the abrupt changes with everyone’s assignment and work hours without consulting and warning anyone brought displeasure to a person’s heart. If anyone attempted to surely have their gripes be heard, they would not be heard until somehow, their complaints got lost into oblivion.

“Here, Rcubes,” greeted the supervisor as she placed a red raffle ticket on my empty left palm.

“What’s this?” I asked.

“For coming to work on time. We’re gonna’ have a raffle some time and this is your ticket so I hope you win,” she replied.

Without any malicious intent, and my spirit just feeling odd with the response, I asked, “Can I give this to someone else?” (My spirit perhaps was in a little wonderment as to why they started that. When was coming to work like a promo that a person needed to be given an incentive just so one could be at work on time? Wasn’t being “on time” a must for employees who took their oaths when they got hired?).

The supervisor didn’t expect my response, looking like I was not being real. But I was. I didn’t want anything from them, supervisors and those other sitting on higher positions as she was one who intimidated me, too and got involved when she shouldn’t have been. She knew that. Except, in her own wisdom, she thought she was doing the right thing that it was time for me to stop working the hours I had been doing for so many years.

One LVN came and whispered to me, “Come, follow me, Rcubes. Gotta’ show you somethin’.”

As we both opened the door that used to house the shelves of different medications for the inmates, I was shocked to see the small room was empty and the computer monitors and the black wirings with them were down on the floor.

“Woo…What’s up with this?” I surprisingly asked.

“I only found out myself, too, just a few minutes ago when I came here to work. So, I thought I’d show you. You just discover everything on your own, I guess. No one told me,” she replied with a frustrating tone.

“Well, thanks for showing me because if I needed to give some medications during sick call, at least I know where the meds were transferred.”

As I went back to where I was sitting, the more my spirit felt low. Everything saddened me to see how things were going worse. Morale was low. The place seemed to be chaotic and dirty. More complaints could be heard with unsatisfied situations they were in. People became more lazy with their work habits. I saw masks donned on faces and even saw some with mask on front of their face and on the back of their heads. As I left that night, exhausted but grateful for God’s provision of His wisdom and protection, I knew my fire was being quenched deep inside by the forceful winds of change. I could sense the evilness. The more I felt sad about people. And I know, in order for me to strive, I needed to stoke the fire in me.

The bone-chilling air was harsher when I went out the door by midnight. As I started my car and left the staff’s parking lot, I glanced once more at the beautiful landscapes surrounding the prison with its manicured lawn, lush gardens, and tall fences. “How sad!” I thought that just because it was beautiful outside didn’t mean it also was deep inside. And what a vast darkness it was in there. As I pressed more on my gas pedal and wanted to be out of that place in a hurry, one thing was always sure that cheered my spirit: “Despite all these changes, the God I trust will never change. And He is not a God of confusion.”

Yes, I needed to stoke my spirit with His Word so that He can use me to bring even a little light in that dark place. I wouldn’t quit in this battle I had been in because if my career as a Correctional Nurse had to end, the reason was it was not because those people in positions made that possible. It would be because either God would bring me somewhere the way He placed me there after working for 10 years in Orthopedics or He was teaching me to grow more in character that His light would shine brighter in me.


9 comments:

  1. Your faith is evident to "ALL" who know you and are blessed with your presence. I know in my heart HE is using you in mighty ways in the correctional facility and that is surely why HE still has you there. HE is teaching others through you. It may be a painful process especially for you, but HE is and will continue to be victorious in all things!

    Big hugs, lots of love, and prayers,
    andrea

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  2. Bless your beautiful faith my friend.

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  3. Thanks for the reminder that God never changes and He is not a God of confusion. You inspire me as you continue to be a light in the darkness.

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  4. I was just reading Luke 1 this morning about that One who would be a Light to dispel the darkness. Like you, I want to shine in dark places for Jesus. Hanging in there with you, friend.

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  5. I so often want to make sense of the confusing storyline in my life. I want to know what the resolution is, how it gets there. It is so tough living in the middle of a story - or towards the end of a subplot. The other day, kind of like you said, God told me though - I can stand firm in how the story ends! I already know that!

    Praying for refreshing for you dear friend! That winds blow through the paths before you, clearing, cleaning, offering freshness!

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  6. totally grateful Rosel....that He never changes. Sending you a ton of hugs. Your faith and strength in HIm always encourages me.

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  7. I chuckled when I read as well, having a reward for coming in on time. Why bother having a start time if people do not honor it. Rosel, thank you for sharing. So glad He is working in your life, blessings.

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  8. Oh how precious is the light when we've long tasted the bitterness of night. Shine on, girl!

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  9. Hi RCUBES-

    Glory to GOD for how He keeps you and strengthens you.

    Our Lord is so wonderful in how He cares for us in EVERY way. His love is bountifully splendid indeed!!!

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"Faith is taking the first step even if you don't see the whole staircase..."
~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

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