I can't lie. I miss seeing manipulative inmates who can fake any physical symptoms known just to acquire more potent pain medications and other narcotics they are known to abuse outside the prison walls. I miss hearing and trying to discern suicidal statements and intentions if they are real or woven just to avoid other predators harassing them in their units and cells. I miss administering as simple as a piece of orange to a conscious diabetic, to starting intravenous line and giving high sugar kind of medication through that to an unconscious one whose blood sugar level could be fatal. I miss assessing someone having seizure and determining if it is a life-threatening type or not.
But I never missed:
~ Gossiping that can spread like a wild fire
“Pursue love…” That’s what the Lord had been telling me since yesterday and this morning as I had been breathing heavily, venting out to my husband that I truly did not feel like going back anymore. My joy to be a Correctional Nurse would always be there, but because of the discrimination from people in higher positions made me feel it would be easy if I would not see their faces. Not that I was scared. I could say I was tired of their plots because it had been going on even prior to them dealing with me and many nurses had quit from the past.
The battle I thought would be so hard against these people turned to be a “piece of cake” because none of their accusations against me were true. But what I did not expect, there was another battle that would be harder to be in. It was a war in my spirit.
When I wanted to be angry, the Lord would often remind me to “be slow in doing so.”
When I heard some of them were getting into troubles, I wanted to say, “Good! They deserved that!” only to be warned right away that “it was not the right thing to think nor say.”
When I wanted to pay evil for evil, He said the right way was to pay evil “with good.”
How could I pursue love and let it be my highest goal? How could I love others who hurt me?
Again, I looked into myself and I got the quick response deep within!
“Mercy…” God had shown me mercy…because it’s just natural for Him and not for me.
It was given not for me to keep but to let it flow to those who needed it.
With mercy, comes along LOVE. Love that sees beyond faults and sees what can become. Love that sees enemies through God’s eyes and emits compassion and forgiveness, instead of revenge or grudge.
“Pursue love…” for God is love…
“Pursue God…” (the Highest Goal)
Captivate Us (Watermark)
Your face is beautiful
And Your eyes are like the stars
Your gentle hands have healing
There inside the scars
Your loving arms they draw me near
And Your smile it brings me peace
Draw me closer oh my Lord
Draw me closer Lord to Thee
Captivate us, Lord Jesus
Set our eyes on You
Devastate us with Your presence
And rushing river, draw us nearer
Holy fountain consume us with You
Captivate us Lord Jesus, with You
Your voice is powerful
And Your words are radiant bright
In Your breath and shadow
I will come close and abide
You whisper love and life divine
And Your fellowship is free
Draw me closer O my Lord
Draw me closer Lord to Thee
Let everything be lost in the shadows
Of the light of Your face
Let every chain be broken from me
As I’m bound in Your grace
For Your yoke is easy, Your burden is light
You’re full of wisdom, power and might
And every eye will see You