Struggling Here

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So, I talked about this female inmate from my previous post “Cut Off” [see prior post below] of how she complained all night long about her back pain. But she was in for committing robbery. After dealing with her at Intake on Friday night, I wasn’t surprised to see her again the following night at the Infirmary, wanting the same attention. She wanted to be given higher doses of pain medications, faking every movement as she rose from her mattress.

Don’t think of me as always being kind. Because that night, I was being mean. I made fun of her whining with my co-workers, copying her and to my co-workers delight. I knew I had enough of her excuses. But having a bad night from Intake dealing with her up to the following day was not a good excuse in the eyes of the Lord.

Many animals change their colors to adapt to their environment. It’s their way of fitting in. The Lord brought to my mind and heart about what I did [making fun of that female inmate]. That was my conviction from the Lord this week. That I should continue to work on becoming a “new nature” because I’m already His child. His light in this dark world. That I am not to conform to this world. That I represent Him in anything I say, think or do.

That I don’t need to fit in in my workplace though I’m surrounded by corruption, sins, evil spirits. I don’t need to adapt to this situation because I have His freedom. I don’t need to survive. The Lord is my life and hope and everything put together. He is not of this world.

I had visited some blogging friends this morning and they also talked about not “conforming to this world.” I knew the Lord was not done with His convictions on me as I read every precious posts.  “Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?” [Psalm 139:7]


I’m not kind! I’m not always nice! I am still struggling with every step I take to finish this race for Him.



Oh Lord, thank You by revealing these things that do not please You, that otherwise, will just go unnoticed. Thank You that Your Spirit searches out everything and exposes these ill behaviors or ways we do, that do not glorify You. Help me Oh Lord to continue to grow in Your ways. Like Jesus. Please forgive me for my sins. Purify us Lord. Help me to be transformed by You, instead of being conformed to this world.In Jesus’ Name, I pray. Amen.

“What this means is that those who become Christians become new persons. They are not the same anymore, for the old life is gone. A new life has begun!” - 2 Corinthians 5:17
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