Learning To Endure

She glanced at me…Trying to lock her eyes with mine. But I purposely shunned away. I might seem like a cold figure to her at that moment. I saw her got up, unknowingly being watched by my spying eyes. She was trying to see what was going on inside the Infirmary. Trying to hear what the conversations were among the staff. She knew, no soul was paying attention.

She had complained of chest pain every few hours. She was already brought to the county hospital’s ER but nothing was found. She just came back from the hospital and hardly an hour had passed while in her unit, she started complaining already of chest pain. She denied any mental health history. To the nurse, she demanded to be given something to ease her nausea. Except no one saw that she was even throwing up or acting nauseous.

The charge nurse deliberately gave her what we called “bench therapy.” Meaning we would let her stay in the waiting area of the female side all night until she grew tired of it. Except there was no sign of her getting weary. Instead, she must have enjoyed the precious moment of being alone rather than being confined in a tiny cell with another unknown soul. She looked like she enjoyed watching tv and remained nosy about what the night crew was up to during the shift.

12 midnight passed by. Then, it became 1, 2, and as the clock on the wall showed the hands at 3:00 a.m., that was when she became uncomfortable. She couldn’t endure the waiting anymore. All of a sudden. She admitted she knew that she had no cardiac problem and requested to be sent back to her unit.

A yellow pass was handed right back to her cold fingers. The heavy metal door slammed right behind her as the Infirmary Deputy let her out so she could go back to her tiny cell. She must have accepted her loss. Of letting go of any temporary and short-lived comfort and pleasures. But behind these prison walls, waiting is always a process the inmates need to endure.

She waited only a few hours in that small waiting area in the Infirmary. Only to go back to the cold cell where she must learn to endure to wait for a number of days, even months, or years, as a consequence of her wrong decisions.

But this is how life is! We don’t always enjoy the lap of luxury. Some of us might not even have any. We also face that decision to go after these worldly comforts or we can share with Christ’s suffering. Sometimes, we suffer for so long. And through those hard times and life’s pressures weighing down on each of us, we learn not only to endure. But also to trust. To hope for the future glory.


“However, as it is written: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived   what God has prepared for those who love him.” - 1 Corinthians 2:9

11 comments:

  1. My heart felt sad for this woman as you described her time of waiting. I can only imagine what it is like to be in a small cell locked away. And yet, how many people don't realize that they are imprisoned by their sins? To be set free from the penalty of my sin is something I hope to never take for granted. It is life.

    May the Lord bless you and protect you as you care for those who are often neglected or shunned by others. I pray that God would give you eyes to see the hurt and lost.

    Blessings and love,
    Debbie

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  2. Waiting must be difficult for the inmates. I'm glad you are feeling better. I'm continuing to pray, dear sister!

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  3. All the harshness of this world will be forgotten when we stand face to face with our Lord.

    Blessings,
    Lyn

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  4. Rosel, glad you are feeling a bit better. Oh wow waiting is not my strong attribute. Thank you for sharing dear one. Blessings.

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  5. I am always blessed by your insights and testimonies.

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  6. How very sad, Praying she will turn her life around and accept God.

    Hope you are well. Much Love,

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  7. Praying you continue to feel much better sis. I love you.

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  8. Well written, Rosel. Hope you are doing well.

    Have a great week!-- Lou

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  9. OK, I'll admit it, the "bench therapy" remark brought a smile from me. Sounds like an effective treatment modality.

    Life certainly does include waiting and I'm so very grateful that we have a wonderful future to look forward to.

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  10. This side of Heaven, we are in the flesh, but strive to walk in the Spirit daily and grow in the likeness of our Lord Jesus. Its not an easy walk always, but our attitude can always hold tight to the fact that this is our Fathr's world. He is in control, even when we are not.

    This is my Father's world. O let me ne'er forget that though the wrong seems oft so strong, God is the ruler yet.
    This is my Father's world: why should my heart be sad? The Lord is King; let the heavens ring! God reigns; let the earth be glad!

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  11. I can't imagine the helplessness of having those doors lock behind me. I pray all inmates come to know Jesus while confined.

    Bless you sweet Rosel!
    Beth

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"Faith is taking the first step even if you don't see the whole staircase..."
~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

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